Random

To: Mr. L.

Good evening po.

KuysRence.

May sasabihin po ako. Hmm. Hindi ko po alam kung paano sisimulan pero sige sasabihin ko na po. 

We became friends and you first approached me in chat. Since then, we used to talk with each other. You became my brother. I don't expect much naman po. Then, we slightly stopped talking with each other because we both became busy. You have your OJT. I became busy with my studies too.

Then, I met someone. He confessed to me about his feelings. But then suddenly, you also confessed your feelings to me. It's somehow confusing. Akala ko po kasi hanggang dun lang tayo. Kuys po kita ee. At first, I felt sorry for you kasi I don't know how to react din po. And I don't know why you felt that way to me. 

I ask my twin sister, friends on how to handle my situation. Sabi po nila sa akin, wag ko raw po muna pakaisipin. Sabi din po nila kung sino po ang mas makakapaghintay, yun daw po. So, I'll wait. He make me feel special. You make me feel happy. He gave me things. You also gave me things. I'm really confused.

I talked to him. I also talked to you. But seriously, I'm not sure about my feelings. I never experience falling into someone. I don't know how it feels like.

Actually, sabi po nila playboy ka. Sabi po nila, mas better daw po si S kaysa sayo. Hindi po talaga ako comfortable kasi dalawa kayo. Feeling ko po tuloy ang bad bad ko kasi dalawa kayong nakakausap ko. Kaya pinilit ko pong umiwas na lang. Actually sa inyong dalawa, mas boto talaga ang friends ko kay S.

But still, I gave you a chance. You're a good Kuys to me. And I don't know how you as a man falling in love kasi ilang beses mo nang naexperience yun. I let you wait if you can seriously wait. Hindi na po tayo nakakapag-usap kasi busy na po ako. And I know you understand that naman po.

I used to see him because of Tumbler. I also used to see you because of Movers. I'm still confused. Why does it have to be that way? Pwede naman kasing isa lang sa inyo. I think love's playing on me.

You know, it's not easy to be me. Parehas kayo na nagsabi na maghihintay sa akin kapag pwede na. And I don't like to hurt anyone of you. Let's see then. God's will. God's plan.

Last days nga po, something happened. I don't know the whole story but it involved you. You used to be my Kuys so I became worried and I texted you. It's your special day when it happened. And it's good that you became okay. Sabi po ni Yennel na you'll explain something to me. 

I think we better to be this way. You as KuysRence to me. You can do what you want naman po. It's okay with me. If you can't wait anymore, it's okay. I didn't hurt about what happened. You're free to like and fall with someone. I'll support you naman po. I'll respect you. 

Now, I'm really not sure with my real feelings. He is still on me. He also respect my condition. I'm now focus on my studies. No worries. Thank you for being someone who made me feel special and happy. Thank you for taking care of me and for treating me well. Thank you for seeing my weirdness.

You can always count and talk to me naman po if you want. You can still approach me. I can still smile at you. I'm still Kwene that you knew. I'm Kwene that is weird at times.

He's with me most of the time in the evening Ball. We talked but still there are awkward moments. I don't know how I felt that night. I'm not sure of it. I just go with the flow. He's my friend and you're my friend. For now, no more and no less.

Weird ko na naman Kuys. I know you're a good man. Be okay. Hays. I'm still confused. Gee hanggang dito na lang po. God bless you.

Take care.

After all, you said that, "Love is a happiness, pain, and lesson."

That will surely explain this long message. It's not really easy to be me.

I don't know how will you take this but I hope you understand this at least.

-- Kwenepot.