Random
To: Mr. N.
It's too obvious that you can no longer wait. Maybe I don't deserve any chances. I understand that it's really too unfair on your part. I'm in love with someone and there's someone I want to wait for me. That's too bad. And I'm so bad.
But I want you to know that I'm really really sorry even if it can't help right now.
It's not the only reason. It's not only staying away. Like what you said, we can't just trust the faith.
We have to move. Are you moving? Did you done your part as a man? I explained everything to you. Don't you know it takes all of me to say all of that to you?
I ate all my pride. Yes, I fooled you. I made a mistake.
But I didn't gave up on you because I keep on asking. It's you who gave up first.
Yes, I'm indeed have deep faith in God but I don't know I'm lacking now. I don't find the real reasons why I felt this wrong feeling. That's why I need some time and I need someone too.
Like what I said, I want someone who can bring me closer to God. Especially now that I'm getting far from him. I know you can't do that because you're not also close to Him.
Everyone make mistakes. I'm just still a human. I'm a sinner.
I sincerely wanted you to come back your true faith with God. And I hope I may not be the reason why you will not do it anymore. I hope how I broke your heart will not be the reason why you will not do it anymore.
For me, seriously, I'm not the one who turned you down but you. You just turned yourself down.
We're not even starting yet but it feels like you gave up already. It feels like you lost with someone I'm not sure enough.
You can't blame me if I felt it because you're not in my position. And you will never be in my position. I just wanted some time to think. I said, I have to make everything alright. And I will make everything alright.
It is not enough to say that you said you waited enough. Did you really done your part as a man?
Ask yourself. Like what you said, it's just a test for you too. A test how strong your love is. Is your love that strong? I think it's not.
I dreamed of a man and I'm waiting for that man.
I know I said that to you.
And you made you're decision. You don't want to wait anymore. So it's really over for us.
If it's heartbreaking for you, it's also for me. I'm planning to come back that's why I'm asking you. I will not beg to you anymore. I'm done. And I will not come back because there's no one waiting for me.
So to make it fair, I'm asking you to please move on. Even if it is hard, please be fine. I just wanted you to save you from me. Because I'm not the right one for you. Maybe I'm not really the one for you.
I regret it now that I came into your life. I regret it now because I just broke your heart. Free yourself from me. And I will do the same.
I don't know who can wait and save me. I do hope and believe it's Him. Maybe I'm really meant to be with Him and serve Him.
Unexpected things are bound to happen. And this situation is the most unexpected thing happened in my life.
I do believe that we can't be friends too. It feels like you will not forgive me. And it feels like if I make everything right, you can't still not forgive me. Let's stop everything from here.
I do believe now that we're really not meant for each other. We're just bound to meet and not to be together. We're just being played by the wrong reason, persons, time and feelings.
I'm scared to see the ending. Because whether I choose you or not, I choose someone or not, I will just feel the hurt.
It's my first time to feel this kind of hurt too.
I didn't know love can be this painful.
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