Queen Alas’
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 1: ALAALA
Naaalala mo pa ba..
ang mga alaala?
Mga lumang alaala..
Mga bagong alaala..
Mga munting alaala..
Masasayang mga alaala..
Mabubuting alaala..
Masasakit na mga alaala..
Masasamang alaala..
Mga pinipilit inaalala..
Mga kinalimutang alaala..
Pero..
kahit ano pa man..
Nananatiling..
mga alaala..
na bumubuhay..
pumapatay..
nagpapagaan..
nagpapagalit..
nagpapasaya..
nagpapasakit..
at tumatraydor..
sa ating buhay..
at..
sa ating..
buong pagkatao.
TRAYDOR NA MGA ALAALA.
Hindi ako ang mali.
Hindi ikaw ang mali.
Hindi tayo ang mali.
Walang maling tao.
Ang mali..
ay ang pagmamahal.
Ang mali..
ay ang pag-big.
Sadyang..
hindi pa tama..
ang oras..
panahon..
at pagkakataon.
Hanggang ngayon..
Nasasaktan pa rin ako.
Ang sakit..
sakit pa rin.
Sobra..
Sobrang sakit.
Hanggang ngayon..
umiiyak pa rin ako.
Hanggang ngayon..
mahal pa rin kita.
Mahal na mahal.
Naaalala ko pa rin..
ang lahat..
ALAALA.
Naaalala ko pa rin..
noong unang araw..
na nagkita tayo.
Ngumiti ka..
sa akin.
Nalaman ko..
ang pangalan mo.
Hanggang..
sa mas nakilala..
pa kita.
Mabait ka..
at palakaibigan.
Magaling makisama..
at masayang kasama.
Kaya naman..
humanga na agad..
ako sayo..
noong unang araw..
na nakita kita.
PAGHANGA.
Humanga ako..
sa ngiti mo.
Humanga ako sayo..
kahit di pa tayo..
nakapag-usap.
Humanga ako..
sa taglay mong..
kabaitan..
at kagandahang-loob.
SAYA.
Masaya ako..
na nakita kita.
Masaya ako..
na nakilala kita.
Marami kang kaibigan..
kaya naisip ko dati..
na di mo na..
ako mapapansin.
AKALA.
Akala ko..
hindi mo ako..
pagtutuunan..
ng pansin.
Akala ko..
hindi mo na..
ako matatandaan.
Akala ko..
hindi mo na..
ako kailangan.
Kasi nga..
marami ka ng..
kaibigan..
At wala namang..
may gustong..
makipag-kaibigan..
sa akin.
Pero..
hindi.
Nagkita tayo ulit..
nang paulit-ulit..
Nginitian mo..
ulit ako.
.
nang paulit-ulit..
Hanggang..
sa kinausap..
mo na ako..
nang unti-unti..
nang paulit-ulit..
nang palagian..
hanggang..
sa tumagal..
nang patagal..
nang matagal.
At dun tayo..
nagsimula.
Nagsimula tayong..
maging magkaibigan.
KAIBIGAN.
Naging..
kaibigan kita.
At naging..
malapit kitang..
kaibigan.
Naging mas malapit tayo..
sa isa't-isa.
Sobrang saya ko.
Masaya akong..
naging..
kaibigan kita.
Masaya akong..
itinuring mo akong..
kaibigan.
Masaya ako..
kasi dumating ka..
sa buhay ko.
UNA.
Sa unang pagkakataon..
may nakapansin..
sa akin..
may nagpahalaga..
sa akin..
may tumanggap..
sa akin..
may nagpagaling..
sa akin..
at may nagpabago..
sa akin.
NAGBAGO.
Nagbago ang lahat.
Binago mo ako.
Naging masaya..
ako ulit.
Yung totoong masaya..
Yung walang..
halong pagpapanggap..
Yung walang..
halong pagtatago.
IBA.
Iba sa pakiramdam.
Iba ang sayang..
dinulot mo sa akin.
Iba ka..
sa lahat..
ng nakilala ko.
Nag-iba ang lahat.
Naaalala ko pa rin..
yung unang araw..
na sinabi mo..
sa akin..
na "Mahal kita."
At..
naaalala ko pa rin..
yung huling araw..
na sinabi mo..
sa akin..
na "Ayoko na."
Tama na.
Suko ka na.
Hindi mo na kaya.
Sabi mo..
"Pwede bang..
maging magkaibigan..
na lang ulit..
tayo?"
"Pwede bang..
bumalik na lang..
tayo..
sa dati?"
Sobrang sakit.
At ramdam..
ko pa rin..
yung sakit..
hanggang..
ngayon.
Alam ko naman..
na mapapagod ka.
At..
napagod ka nga.
Alam ko..
na magsasawa ka.
At..
nagsawa ka nga.
Alam kong..
bibitaw ka.
At..
bumitaw ka nga.
Kasi..
alam kong..
hindi ako.
Alam kong..
hindi..
naging ako.
Alam kong..
pinilit mo lang..
ang sarili mo..
sa akin.
Alam kong..
pinilit lang..
natin.
At..
alam kong..
mali.
Mali ang lahat.
Mali ang lahat..
ng nangyari..
sa atin.
Inihanda ko naman..
ang sarili ko..
sa mga salitang..
binitawan mo..
sa mga..
pwedeng mangyari..
sa mga..
hindi..
magandang mangyayari..
at kung sakali man..
na..
bibitaw..
ka na..
pero..
masakit pa rin..
masakit..
pa rin..
pala.
Noong araw..
na sinukuan..
mo na ako..
hindi ko..
matanggap.
Hindi..
pwede.
Ayoko.
Gusto ko pang..
lumaban.
Gusto ko pa..
sanang..
umasa.
Gusto kong..
magmakaawa.
Gusto kong..
sabihin na..
"Wag..
wag mo..
akong iwan."
"Patawarin mo..
ako..
sa mga..
mali ko..
sa mga..
kasalanan ko..
Patawad..
kung..
nasaktan kita."
"Hindi..
hindi..
hindi ko..
kaya."
"Ayokong..
mawala ka..
sa akin."
"Mahal kita."
"Mahal..
na..
mahal..
kita."
"Bakit..
mo ako..
bibitawan?"
"Bakit..
mo ako..
iiwan?"
"Hindi mo..
na ba..
ako..
mahal?"
"Bakit..
naman..
ganito?"
"Sobrang..
mahal..
kita."
"Sobra.."
"Hindi..
hindi ko..
kaya..
na..
wala ka."
"Wag..
wag mo..
akong iwan."
"Please."
Pero..
wala..
wala akong..
nagawa.
Hinayaan..
lang kita.
Siguro sapat na..
yung salitang..
binitiwan mo..
para sa mga sagot..
na kailangan ko.
Siguro..
Oo..
Ayaw mo na..
talaga..
sa akin.
Gusto mo nang..
bumitaw..
kasi..
kaya mo na..
kaya mo na..
na wala ako.
Hindi..
hindi mo na..
ako..
kailangan.
At baka..
hindi..
hindi mo..
na rin..
ako..
mahal.
Bakit ka naman..
bibitaw diba..
kung mahal mo pa..
ako?
Dang.
Hindi.
Mali.
Hindi baka..
Hindi siguro..
Oo.
Hindi mo na..
ako mahal.
Hindi mo na..
talaga..
ako mahal.
O..
minahal mo ba..
talaga..
ako?
Baka nga..
hindi rin.
Siguro..
hindi mo..
talaga..
ako..
minahal..
ng totoo.
Nabigla ka lang..
siguro.
Nasabik ka lang..
siguro.
Pinilit mo lang..
ang sarili mo.
Pero..
hindi..
hindi talaga.
Hindi ka talaga..
seryoso.
Kasi una pa lang..
may mahal..
ka ng iba.
At alam kong..
hindi ako yun.
Pero..
siguro..
kahit papaano naman..
alam ko..
naramdaman ko..
na minahal mo ako..
kahit konti..
kahit na mali.
Isang..
malaking..
pagkakamali..
ang mahalin kita..
ng mas higit pa.
Isang..
malaking..
pagkakasala..
ang mahalin..
ka..
ang mahalin..
natin..
ang isa't-isa.
Kasi..
noong una..
pa lang naman..
Hindi ko..
yun gusto.
Ayoko.
Ayoko talaga.
Hindi..
kasi tama.
Marami..
ang nagsabi..
na mali.
Marami..
ang hindi..
pumayag.
Marami..
ang umayaw.
Marami..
ang tumutol.
Marami..
ang pumigil.
Oo..
Masaya daw tayo..
ngayon..
pero..
hanggang..
kailan?
Kaya..
sinubukan kong..
lumayo sayo.
Kasi..
inaamin ko..
magulo..
ang isip ko..
ang puso ko..
ang kaluluwa ko..
ang buong..
pagkatao ko..
at dumating din..
yung mga araw..
na nasakal..
mo na ako.
Hindi ko na rin..
kaya noon.
Pinapaiyak mo ako.
Nagagalit ka..
Nagtatampo ka lagi..
kahit wala naman..
akong maling ginagawa.
Pinipilit mo..
na ikaw lang..
dapat..
na tayo lang..
dapat.
Ikaw lang dapat..
ang kakausapin ko..
Ikaw lang dapat..
ang mahal ko..
Pinapaiwas mo ako..
sa iba.
Kahit sa ibang..
malalapit..
kong kaibigan.
Kahit sa mga taong..
may gusto..
sa akin.
Nagagalit ka..
Naiinis ka..
Kaya..
kinulong mo ako.
Gumawa ka..
ng mundo..
na kung saan..
tayo lang..
ang nandun..
tayo lang..
ang may alam.
Kaya..
ilang beses..
kitang iniwan..
maraming beses..
paulit-ulit.
Pero..
hindi..
hindi ka..
pumayag.
Sabi mo..
hindi.
Sabi mo..
walang mali..
walang mali..
sa pagmamahal.
Walang mali..
sa taong..
nagmamahal.
Sabi mo rin..
bahala na.
Sabi mo..
hindi mo kaya.
Hindi mo kaya..
na wala ako.
Nagmakaawa ka..
Nagmakaawa sa akin.
Pati mga kaibigan..
at kapatid mo..
kinausap ako.
Pinilit mo sila.
Nagmakaawa sila..
sa akin..
na balikan kita.
Pinilit mo..
ang sarili mo.
Pinilit mo ako.
Pinilit mo..
ang tayo.
Kaya naman..
Hinayaan mo ako.
Hinayaan mo akong..
mahalin ka.
Hinayaan mo akong..
mas mahalin ka.
At hinayaan kita..
Hinayaan kita..
sa kung ano..
ang gusto mo.
Hinayaan kitang..
mahalin ako.
Hinayaan kita..
na mas mahalin ako.
Hanggang..
naging tayo..
at parehas natin..
itong itinago.
Pag-ibig..
at..
pagmamahalang pinilit..
pilit itinago..
at..
relasyong..
sinikreto.
Naging..
masaya tayo.
Masaya akong..
nakikita ka.
Masaya akong..
nakakasama ka.
Masaya akong..
nandyan ka.
Masaya akong..
mahalin ka..
segu-segundo..
minu-minuto..
lagi-lagi..
araw-araw.
Masaya akong..
minahal kita.
Masaya akong..
minahal mo ako.
Masaya ako..
kahit mali.
Pero..
Araw-araw..
pa rin..
akong nagtatanong..
nag-aalinlangan..
nagdadasal..
na sana..
tama nga..
ang tayo.
At..
kung hindi man..
sana..
kayanin ko..
kung ano man..
ang mangyari.
Hanggang..
unti-unti..
nagbago ka..
nag-iba ka..
Nagbago at nag-iba..
ang lahat.
Hindi ka naman..
ganun dati.
Nawalan..
ka ng gana.
Sabi mo..
nasakal kita.
Pero hindi.
Sobrang mahal..
na mahal..
lang talaga..
kita.
Alam kong..
alam mo yun.
At alam ko rin..
na alam mo..
alam nating dalawa.
Hindi..
hindi kita..
nasakal.
Sadyang..
may iba..
may iba kang mahal..
may iba ka..
lang talagang mahal..
noong una..
pa lang.
Sabi mo..
mahal..
mo pa rin..
sya.
At hinihintay..
mo pa rin..
sya.
Ang sakit pala.
hahaha.
Ano lang..
pala ako?
Paano na lang ako?
Bakit ngayon pa?
Ngayon na..
sobrang..
mahal na kita.
Kaya pala..
nagsawa ka..
sa akin.
Napagod ka..
sa akin.
Kung ako naman..
ang mahal mo..
Hindi ka..
magkakaganyan..
Hindi ka..
magbabago.
Hindi naman..
ako nagbago.
Ako pa rin..
yung mahal mo..
Ako pa rin..
yung taong..
mahal..
na mahal ka.
Pero..
dumating..
yung araw..
na nararamdaman ko..
na parang..
ayaw mo na.
Kaya naman..
ako na..
ang bumitaw..
ako na..
ang nakapaghiwalay.
Pero..
hindi..
hindi ko..
pala kaya.
Oo..
Nagmakaawa ako.
Humingi ako..
sayo..
ng isa pang..
pagkakataon.
Nagbulag-bulagan ako..
Kahit..
sobra mo na..
akong sinasaktan..
sa mga sinabi mo..
Yung mga salitang yun..
sobrang masakit..
pero..
hindi ko kaya.
Hindi ko pa kaya.
Umasa pa ako.
Ayokong..
iwan mo ako.
Hindi ko na kaya..
kasi..
sobra na..
kitang mahal.
At..
nagpapasalamat ako..
kasi..
pinagbigyan mo ako.
Sabi mo..
na ayusin natin.
Pinilit natin.
Pinilit kita.
At naramdamam ko..
na ako na lang..
ako na lang pala..
ang pumipilit..
ako na lang..
ang kumakapit..
ako na lang..
ang lumalaban..
na ayusin natin..
ang lahat..
na ayusin..
ang tayo.
Pero ikaw..
hindi..
hindi na.
Inaamin ko..
nasasaktan din kita..
Pero..
alam mo..
sa sarili mo..
na mas sinasaktan..
mo ako.
Kahit..
ikaw ang mali..
ikaw yung..
nagtatampo..
At parang..
kasalanan ko lagi..
ang lahat..
sa tuwing..
mag-aaway tayo.
Ako pa..
ang humihingi..
ng pasensya.
Ako ang umaayos.
Ako ang..
nagpapakababa.
Ako ang..
naglalambing.
Pinapaiyak mo ako..
lagi.
Nakailan ka na bang..
humingi sa akin..
ng pasensya?
Patawad?
Paulit-ulit..
napakaraming beses na..
at kahit nagagalit..
at nagtatampo din ako..
lagi kitang..
pinagbibigyan..
at pinapatawad..
agad-agad.
Pero nakakapagod..
at nakakasawa na rin..
ang magpatawad..
ng paulit-ulit.
Hindi ka naman..
yata natututo.
Pero..
wala.
Mahal kasi kita.
Sobra.
Kaya kong masaktan..
Okay lang..
na ako..
ang masaktan.
Pero hindi..
hindi na tayo..
masaya..
Tapos ngayon..
hinayaan mo lang..
ulit akong masaktan.
Kaya..
imbis na pilitin..
ko pa..
at umasa pa ako..
sa wala..
Hindi na.
Tama na.
Hindi na..
tayo masaya.
Ayokong na ring..
magmakaawa..
Kasi..
alam kong..
ayaw mo na..
talaga.
Hinayaan..
na lang din..
kita na bumitaw..
na umalis..
na sumuko..
na lumaya.
At..
ako rin..
kailangan ko nang..
bumitaw..
sumuko..
umalis..
at..
lumaya.
Kahit masakit..
Kahit hindi..
ko kaya..
Kahit sobrang..
mahal kita..
Sobrang masakit.
Sobrang mahirap.
Kaya mas mabuting..
bumitaw na lang.
Kaysa naman..
mas masaktan..
at mahirapan pa..
tayo.
Hindi na tama.
Hindi naman..
talaga..
tama.
Hindi na..
talaga..
tayo masaya.
Ito pala yun.
Umabot talaga..
tayo dito..
sa dulo..
ng kasiyahan.
Puro lungkot..
sakit..
at hirap..
na lang..
ang nararamdaman..
natin.
Kaya..
mas mabuti..
na itigil..
na natin.
Kaya..
mas mabuti..
na itama..
na natin..
ang lahat..
ang pagkakamali.
Hindi ako.
Hindi ikaw.
Hindi tayo.
Hindi tayo..
tama..
para sa..
isa't-isa.
Pero..
hindi rin tayo..
maling tao.
Dahil..
walang..
maling tao.
Lahat tayo..
ay..
tamang tao..
para sa..
tamang tao..
para sa atin.
At..
hindi tayo..
ang..
tamang tao..
para sa..
isa't-isa.
Ang mali..
ay..
mahalin natin..
ng mas higit pa..
ang isa't-isa.
Ang mali..
ay..
ang pag-ibig..
ang pagmamahal..
ang oras..
ang panahon..
at pagkakataon.
Ang mali..
ay ang..
maging masaya tayo..
ang mabulag tayo..
sa mali..
ang subukan natin..
ang piliin natin..
ang pilitin natin..
ang hayaan natin..
na mahulog tayo..
sa isang..
malaking pagkakasala.
Noong una pa lang naman..
alam na natin.
Hindi tayo..
ang para..
sa isa't-isa.
Hindi ako sayo..
at hindi ka..
sa akin.
Hindi tayo.
Ang mali ay mali.
Pero hindi dapat..
na manatili tayo..
sa mali.
Kahit..
lahat naman..
nagkakamali..
hindi tama..
na manatili..
tayo sa mali.
Kasi..
lahat ng mali..
ay maaari pang..
mabago.
At yun..
ang kagandahan..
sa pagkakamali..
may pagkakataon pa..
tayong itama..
ang lahat.
Kailangan ng pagbabago..
at..
manatili sa tama.
Hindi tama..
ang maging masaya..
sa mali.
Ang tunay..
na kasiyahan..
ay mararamdaman..
sa tama.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 2: PAGTANGGAP (PART 1)
Kamusta ka?
Okay..
ka lang..
ba?
Kung oo..
mabuti.
Kung hindi..
mas mabuti yan..
okay lang..
din yan.
Magiging..
mas..
maayos..
din..
ang..
pakiramdam mo.
Basta..
laban lang..
at..
maging..
matatag ka.
Natanggap..
mo na..
ang lahat.
Ang sumaya..
sumubok..
magmahal..
ng totoo..
ng seryoso..
ang lumaban..
ng unti-unti..
paulit-ulit..
ang malungkot..
magalit..
magtampo..
mainis..
maglambing..
ang umiyak..
ng paulit-ulit..
ng sobra..
sobra..
ang masaktan..
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit..
makasakit..
makulong..
masakal..
ang magbago..
ng unti-unti..
ng pansamantala..
ng permanente..
ang mag-iba..
mapagod..
magsawa..
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit..
ang magpalaya..
ang lahat..
lahat..
ng mali..
ng tama..
ng aral..
Pero..
nasasaktan ka..
pa rin..
ng sobra..
sobra.
Kaya..
hindi..
mo..
kailangan..
magpanggap.
Huwag kang..
magpanggap.
Kasi..
hindi mo..
pa rin..
talaga..
tanggap.
Alam ko..
masakit..
tanggapin.
mahirap..
tanggapin.
Hindi ito..
agad-agad.
Okay lang..
maging..
hindi okay.
Kahit..
pansamantalang..
pagtanggap.
Dadaan ka..
sa marami..
maraming proseso..
unti-unting..
proseso..
paulit-ulit..
na mga proseso.
Hanggang..
matanggap mo na..
ang lahat..
ng buong isip..
ng buong puso..
ng buong kaluluwa..
ng buong-buo.
Hindi mo..
kailangang..
magmadali.
Hindi mo..
kailangang..
pilitin.
Hayaan mo..
lang.
Magiging okay..
ka rin.
Magiging..
maayos din..
ang lahat..
lahat.
Magiging buo..
ka ulit.
Magiging..
tama rin..
ang lahat..
ng mali.
Magiging masaya..
ka ulit..
at magmamahal..
masasaktan..
muling..
magmamahal..
at paulit-ulit..
masasaktan..
pero unti-unti..
at paulit-ulit..
din..
na..
lalaban..
hindi..
susuko..
at matututo..
magmamahal..
ng totoo..
ng seryoso..
at..
maghihintay..
para..
sa bagong..
simula..
bagong..
pag-asa..
totoong..
saya..
totoong..
ikaw..
para sa..
tamang..
tao..
sa tamang..
oras..
tamang..
panahon..
tamang..
pagkakataon..
tamang pagmamahal..
tamang pag-ibig.
PANSAMANTALANG PAGTANGGAP.
Ikaw..
ang kailangan..
ko.
Pero..
hindi ako..
ang kailangan..
mo.
Sobrang namimiss..
ko na..
ang lahat.
Sobrang namimiss..
na kita.
Sobrang..
mahal pa rin..
kita.
At sobrang..
sakit pa rin.
Tanggap..
mo na ba?
Bakit..
ang bilis?
agad-agad?
ang dali?
Bakit..
ang dali..
lang ng lahat..
para sayo?
Ganun..
lang..
yun?
Ganun..
lang..
ba..
yun?
Bakit..
kaya..
mo?
Kaya mo na..
agad?
Kaya mo na..
na wala..
ako.
Kaya mo na.
Kaya mo na..
talaga.
Ang daya mo.
Sobrang..
sakit.
Sobra..
sobra.
Pwede bang..
maging..
malungkot..
ka rin?
Kahit..
konti.
Pwede bang..
masaktan..
ka rin?
Kahit..
konti?
Iparamdam..
mo naman..
sa akin..
kahit..
konti..
na..
minahal..
mo ako..
na..
minahal..
mo rin..
ako.
Minahal..
mo ba..
ako?
Yung..
seryoso?
Yung..
totoo?
Pero..
bakit?
Bakit..
ka..
ganyan?
Bakit..
okay..
ka?
Bakit..
okay..
ka lang?
Masaya..
ka ba?
Masaya ka ba..
na wala..
ako?
Masaya ka ba..
na wala na ako..
sa buhay mo?
Masaya ka ba..
na wala..
na tayo?
Okay lang sayo..
na wala ako?
Hindi..
hindi ka naman..
ganyan.
Hindi..
ka ganyan..
dati.
Hindi..
ikaw..
yan..
Hindi na..
ikaw yan.
Hindi na ikaw..
ang taong..
nakilala ko.
Hindi na ikaw..
ang taong..
minahal ko..
Nasaan..
ka na?
Saan..
ka..
nagpunta?
Pwede bang..
bumalik..
ka na..
sa akin?
Pwede..
ba?
Kahit..
sandali..
lang?
Sobrang..
nagbago..
ka na.
Sobrang..
nag-iba ka..
Sobrang..
iba..
ka na.
Hindi..
hindi na..
kita..
kilala.
O..
baka..
naman..
Hindi talaga..
kita..
kilala.
Hindi..
na..
kita..
kilala.
Bakit..
naman..
ganito?
Bakit..
ako..
hindi..
ko pa rin..
kaya?
Bakit..
hindi ko..
maisip..
na..
kakayanin ko?
Bakit..
hindi..
hindi ko..
matanggap?
Hindi..
ko kaya.
Kahit..
kelan..
hindi..
talaga.
Alam ko..
alam mo..
na..
hindi ko..
kaya..
na..
wala ka.
Kasi..
ikaw lang..
ang..
meron ako.
Pero..
pinili..
mo pa rin..
na iwanan..
ako.
Walang-wala..
na ako.
Hindi..
ko na..
alam..
ang..
gagawin ko..
Hindi..
ko kaya..
kung..
pati..
ikaw..
ay..
mawawala rin..
sa akin.
Hindi..
ko kayang..
tanggapin.
Pero..
bakit..
ikaw?
Tanggap..
mo na.
Ayaw..
mo na ba?
Ayaw..
mo na ba..
talaga?
Ayaw..
mo na..
talaga..
sa..
akin?
Gusto..
mo na..
akong..
mawala?
Gusto..
mo na..
akong..
mawala..
sayo?
Yun ba?
Yun ba..
ang..
gusto mo?
Gusto..
mo bang..
kalimutan..
na..
ako?
Gusto..
mo bang..
kalimutan..
na..
kita?
Gusto..
mo bang..
kalimutan..
na..
ang..
lahat?
Gusto..
mo bang..
kalimutan..
na..
ang tayo?
Wala..
lang..
ba sayo..
ang..
lahat?
Wala..
lang ba..
ako..
para..
sayo?
Wala..
ka na..
bang..
pakialam..
sa akin?
Wala..
na ba..
akong..
kwenta..
para..
sayo?
Hindi..
mo na ba..
ako..
iniisip?
Hindi..
mo na ba..
ako..
namimiss?
Mahal..
mo pa ba..
ako?
Hindi..
mo na ba..
ako..
mahal?
Minahal..
mo ba ako?
Kaya..
ka ba..
ganyan?
Kaya ba..
okay..
ka..
lang?
Sige.
Tama na.
Suko na ako.
Ayoko na.
Bibitaw..
na rin..
ako.
Kung..
kaya mo..
kakayanin..
ko rin.
Kung..
kaya mo na..
kaya..
ko rin.
Huwag..
na tayong..
mag-usap.
Huwag..
na tayong..
magkita.
Huwag..
na tayong..
bumalik..
sa..
dati.
Wala..
na rin naman..
tayong..
babalikan.
Huwag..
na tayong..
maging..
magkaibigan.
Hindi na..
hindi na pwede.
Sobrang..
masakit..
kung..
aasa pa..
ako..
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit..
na..
makakabalik..
pa tayo..
sa dati..
na..
magkaibigan..
Hindi..
hindi na pwede.
Ayoko na.
Ayoko..
ng..
maging..
tanga..
at..
paulit-ulit..
na..
magpakatanga.
Kung..
ang pagmamahal..
ay pagpapakatanga..
ayoko na..
ayoko nang..
magmahal.
Tama na.
Ayoko..
na rin..
na..
mas masaktan..
pa..
at paulit-ulit..
na..
masaktan.
Kung..
ayaw..
mo na..
ayoko..
na rin.
Ayawan na.
Wala na..
wala..
ng balikan.
Wala..
ka na..
rin namang..
pakialam..
sa akin.
Hinayaan..
mo lang..
ako..
Hinayaan..
mo akong..
mahulog..
at..
hinayaan..
mo akong..
madurog.
Hinayaan..
mo akong..
mahalin ka..
at..
hinayaan..
mo akong..
masaktan..
ng sobra..
sobra.
Kaya..
ngayon..
hayaan..
mo rin..
ako.
hayaan..
mo akong..
umalis..
at lumisan.
Hinayaan..
kita..
sa gusto mo..
kahit..
ayaw ko..
kahit..
mahal..
pa kita..
ng sobra..
sobra.
Pero..
wala..
akong..
nagawa..
hinayaan..
lang..
kita..
kasi..
yun..
ang gusto mo.
Hindi..
mo man lang..
ako..
tinanong.
Hindi..
mo man lang..
ako..
inisip.
Hindi..
mo man..
lang..
inalam..
kung ano..
ang gusto ko..
kung ano..
talaga..
ang gusto ko..
kung..
gusto ko..
rin ba..
yung..
gusto mo.
Pero..
okay lang..
Kahit na..
gusto..
ko pa..
wala..
na rin naman..
akong..
ibang magagawa.
Kundi..
ang sundin..
ang gusto mo.
Kaya..
naman..
Hayaan..
mo rin..
ako.
Hayaan..
mo akong..
kalimutan ka.
Kasi..
ngayon..
alam..
ko na..
ang..
gagawin ko..
ang tama..
kong gawin.
Naalala..
ko nga..
pala..
may sinabi..
ako..
sayo..
dati.
Ilang beses..
kitang..
binitiwan.
Sabi ko..
pinangako ko..
sa sarili ko..
na..
hindi..
hinding-hindi..
na kita..
bibitawan..
hindi..
na ako..
bibitaw.
Kasi..
kapag..
dumating na..
yung..
tamang..
oras..
panahon..
at..
pagkakataon..
Ikaw..
na..
ikaw na..
ang..
bibitaw.
Ikaw na..
ang..
bibitaw..
sa akin.
Bibitaw ka.
Bibitawan..
mo..
ako.
Bibitawan mo..
ang..
tayo.
At..
bumitaw..
ka nga.
Kaya..
sige..
kakalimutan..
na kita.
Kakalimutan..
ko na..
ang..
lahat..
lahat.
Kakalimutan..
ko na..
ang..
ikaw..
at..
ako.
Kakalimutan..
ko na..
ang..
tayo.
Kakalimutan..
ko..
na..
mahal..
kita..
na..
mahal..
na..
mahal..
kita..
na..
minahal kita.
Minahal..
pala..
kita.
Pero..
hindi..
hindi na.
Hindi na..
kita..
mahal.
At..
hindi na..
kita..
mamahalin.
Magbabago..
na rin..
ako..
katulad mo.
Hindi na.
Hindi na ako..
magiging..
ako.
Hindi na ako..
ang..
taong..
minahal mo.
Hindi na ako..
ang..
taong..
minahal ka.
Hindi na ako..
ang..
dating ako.
At..
hindi na ako..
babalik..
sa..
dating ako.
Yung..
dating ako..
na..
nakilala mo..
ay..
wala na.
Patay..
na sya.
Pinatay..
mo ako.
At..
tanggap..
ko na.
Paalam.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 3: PAGBABAGO
Ito na..
ang simula..
ng lahat..
simula..
ng malaking..
pagbabago..
sa buhay ko..
sa bagong..
buhay ko.
Hindi..
na ako..
ang..
dating ako.
At..
wala..
akong pakialam..
sa sasabihin..
ng iba.
Magbabago ako..
para sa..
sarili ko.
Magbabago ako..
hindi para..
sa iba.
Ang bagong ako..
ay ang..
permanenteng ako.
PERMANENTENG PAGBABAGO
Hindi..
ko kaya.
Pero..
hindi ko na..
kaya.
Oo.
Hindi..
ko na..
kayang..
masaktan.
Kaya ko na.
Kaya ko nang..
lumaban..
at..
tanggapin..
ang..
lahat..
ng sakit.
Tanggap..
ko na..
ang lahat..
lahat..
ng..
katotohanan.
Kaya ako..
nagbago.
Ako si..
Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala.
Female.
20 years old.
"Miss Fluent in Silence"
"Miss Shrinking Violet"
Introvert.
Alone.
Lonely.
Weird.
Dork.
Timid.
Wallflower.
I'm weak.
I'm sick.
Nagkaroon ako..
ng sakit..
sakit sa puso..
sakit sa utak..
sakit sa kaluluwa..
sakit..
sa buong pagkatao.
Nagkaroon ako..
ng depresyon.
Nawalan ako..
ng gana..
sa buhay.
Nawalan ako..
ng gana..
na..
mabuhay.
Dahil sa..
sobrang..
lungkot..
at..
sobrang..
sakit.
Na-bully.
Naapi.
Pinaglaruan.
Pinagpalit.
Iniwasan.
Iniwan.
Sinaktan.
Nasaktan.
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit.
First Heartbreak.
My Family.
Lola.
Papa.
Mama.
My older sisters.
Second Heartbreak.
Classmates.
Third Heartbreak.
Friends.
Fourth Heartbreak.
First Dream.
Fifth Heartbreak.
Second Dream.
Sixth Heartbreak.
Best Friend.
Seventh Heart Break.
First Love.
Eighth Heart Break.
Second Love.
Pero..
simula..
noong nakilala ko..
ang third love ko..
ako..
ay naging..
Joyful.
Friendly.
Positive.
Talented.
Believer.
Thankful.
Healed.
Pinagaling..
nya ako..
sa sakit ko.
Nagbago ako.
Binago nya ako.
Naging..
masaya ako.
Nalaman ko..
ang halaga ko.
Nalaman ko..
ang ganda..
ng buhay.
Naramdaman ko..
na masarap..
pala..
ang mabuhay.
Naramdaman ko..
na espesyal..
ang isang taong..
tulad ko.
Natuto..
akong magmahal..
ng totoo..
ng seryoso.
Pero sa..
Ninth Heartbreak ko..
noong..
sinaktan..
pinagpalit..
niloko..
hinayaan..
at iniwan..
nya rin..
ako..
nagbago..
ulit..
ang lahat..
sa akin..
sa buhay ko.
Ako na..
ang bagong..
Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala.
Strong..
Independent..
Woman.
21 years old.
Natuto.
Nagbago.
Nawalan..
ng gana..
sa kasiyahan..
sa pag-ibig..
sa pagmamahal.
Nawalan..
ng tiwala..
sa iba..
sa lahat..
ng bagay..
ng tao..
sa lahat..
lahat.
Pero..
naging..
matatag..
malakas..
at..
matapang.
Naging..
Demure.
Tough.
Ambidextrous.
Versatile.
Enigmatic.
Deep.
Eccentric.
Frigid.
Naniwala..
ako..
na lahat..
ng tao..
ay..
sasaktan ka..
ginusto..
man nya..
o hindi..
masasaktan..
at..
masasaktan ka.
Ilang beses..
na rin..
akong..
nagmahal..
sumaya..
umiyak..
at..
nasaktan..
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit.
Sobrang..
manhid..
na rin ako..
sa sakit..
sa hapdi..
sa kirot..
sa lahat..
lahat.
Ilang beses..
na rin..
akong natuto.
Natuto..
akong magmahal..
ng unti-unti..
ng paulit-ulit.
Pero..
lahat..
ng minahal ko..
iniwan..
lang ako.
Kaya..
sobrang..
minahal..
ko na rin..
ang sakit.
Hinding-hindi..
nya ako..
maiwan.
At..
ang bukod..
tanging..
nananatili..
lang..
at laging..
nandyan..
ay..
ang sakit..
at..
pag-asa.
Pag-asa..
na sana..
iiwan..
na rin..
ako..
ng sakit..
Pero..
hindi..
hindi pa rin..
sya umaalis..
nandyan..
lang sya.
Bakit..
hindi..
nya ako..
iniiwan?
Pero..
naniniwala..
ako..
na susukuan..
bibitawan..
aayawan..
at..
iiwanan..
din ako..
nito..
sa tamang..
oras..
panahon..
at pagkakataon.
Ilang beses..
na rin..
akong..
nawalan ng gana..
naiwan..
sumuko..
umayaw..
at bumitaw.
Ayoko na.
Tama na.
Oras na..
para..
gumising..
at harapin..
ang buong..
katotohanan.
Akala ko..
hindi..
ko kaya.
Pero..
hindi.
Hindi..
ko na..
kaya.
Hindi ko na..
kaya..
ang sakit.
Ngayon..
kaya ko na..
tanggap ko na..
kaya ako..
nagbago.
Pagtanggap..
at..
pagbabago.
Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala.
Random Facts.
I have:
Face blindness.
Arrhythmia.
Arachnophobia.
Multiple personalities.
Weak/fragile heart.
Vulnerable heart.
Smiley/singkit eyes.
I'm a/an:
Masochist.
Enigmatic.
Crybaby.
Tough.
Moody.
Smiley.
Ambivert.
Selfless.
Fluent in Silence.
Fluent in Sadness.
Fluent in Pain.
Not friendly.
Not cheerful.
Hopeless Romantic.
Tender-hearted.
Lion-hearted.
Pluviophile.
Astrophile.
Nyctophile.
Thalassophile.
Dislikes:
Back hugs.
Tattoo.
Strong scents.
Hot weather.
Sunflower.
Bracelets.
Color green.
Cold water.
Sea foods.
Squid.
Burger.
Marshmallows.
Too loud voices.
Too noisy places.
Sleeping while riding.
Too closeness.
Too attachment.
Horror videos/movies
Likes:
Emo style.
Strange things.
Odd experiments.
Cold places.
Clover.
Morning glory.
Bicycle.
Road-tripping.
Travelling.
Stolen shots.
Lying on bed.
Singing in karaoke room.
Foods:
Polvoron.
Gummy worms.
Milk.
Vanilla flavor.
Cold coffee.
Fried rice.
Mixed coke & sprite.
Things:
Pens.
Bottles.
Books.
Rings.
Anklets.
Hoodie jackets.
Caps/hats/bonnets.
Masks.
Handwritten love letters.
Music/Songs:
Rock and rap.
420 Soldierz music.
Ballad songs.
The Day You Said Goodnight - Hale.
Cueshe songs.
Stay.
Back To Me.
Borrowed Time.
Pasensya Na.
Everything I Do - Bryan Adams.
All This Time - Tiffany.
Leader of the Band - Dan Fogelberg.
Hero – Enrique Iglesias
Dream About You - Stevie B.
Justin Bieber songs.
Pray.
Believe.
Down to Earth.
Purpose.
Faded - Alan Walker.
Kina songs.
Get You The Moon.
Can We Kiss Forever.
Personalities:
Celestine Gonzaga-Soriano.
Emma Charlotte Watson.
Bae Suzy.
Lee Ji-eun.
Kim Myungsoo.
Kim Soo Hyun.
Zhang Yixing.
Cai Xukun.
Chen Linong.
Characters:
Snoopy.
Olaf.
Ice Bear.
Lucy Loud.
Movies:
Sing.
The Miracle Worker.
A Millionaire's First Love.
Let Me Eat Your Pancreas.
Our Times.
3 Idiots.
Your Name.
Series:
Dream High 1 & 2.
School 2015: Who Are You.
Vagabond.
Charlotte.
I like:
Singing.
Dancing.
Drawing.
Sketching.
Painting.
Reading.
Writing.
Travelling.
Taking pictures.
Watching videos/movies.
Listening to music.
Typing my works in laptop.
Finding the meaning..
of new/unfamiliar words.
Weird things about me:
I have ticklish palms.
I can last a day without talking.
I talk with plants and animals.
End.
CHAPTER 4: PAGKIKITA (PART 1)
HINDI INAASAHANG PAGKIKITA
YNNEU'S POV
Time check.
1 o'clock..
in the morning.
Dang.
It's happening again.
Just..
like..
before.
Exactly..
at this time.
Lagi akong..
nagigising..
ng bigla..
ng paulit-ulit..
sa ganitong oras.
I dreamed..
and..
it's pretty..
bad.
I touch my left chest.
It feels like..
my heart..
is..
going to burst.
It’s aching..
so bad.
I touch..
my head.
And..
I close..
my eyes.
I touch..
my face.
Bakit..
bakit may..
luha?
I'm..
crying..
silently.
Dang.
Kinuha ko..
si Ice Bear.
I hug him.
"Sorry.
Basa..
ka na naman."
Dang.
Hey, Ynneu!
Baliw ka na.
Weirdo.
Wala..
namang masama..
makipag-usap..
sa isang..
stuff toy..
o..
sa isang..
teddy bear.
Though..
I will..
really..
look..
a crazy one.
Well..
that's fine..
with me.
Mas safe..
sila kausap.
No words.
Expressionless.
For now..
they are..
the ones..
I can..
truly..
trust.
I can't..
trust..
anyone..
or..
someone..
anymore.
I get..
my phone.
Someone..
texted me.
Hmm.
Who's..
this?
Hindi..
ko pinansin.
May..
naalala..
lang ako..
bigla.
I..
turn on..
the music.
RIGHT NOW by PLANETSHAKERS ~
Repeat one.
This is..
how I heal..
myself.
Worship songs.
I feel..
safe.
No drama.
No more..
sad songs.
I..
lay down.
And..
I try..
to close..
my eyes.
Pero..
hindi..
hindi pa rin..
ako makatulog.
Kaya..
umupo ako.
I get..
my phone..
again.
I play..
Temple Run.
Run.
Run.
Run.
I hope..
I..
can just..
run..
away.
Run away..
from everyone..
from every..
sadness..
from every..
pain..
from..
everything.
At..
hindi ko..
namalayan..
na..
umiiyak..
na naman..
ako.
Dang.
I lay down..
again.
I hug..
Ice Bear.
At..
hindi ko ulit..
namalayan.
I..
slept.
Through you..
I can do anything.
I can do all things.
Cause it's you who gives me strength ~
Alarm.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE by PLANETSHAKERS ~
Time check.
7 o'clock..
in the morning.
I turn off..
the alarm.
I get up.
I sit..
on my bed.
I get..
the Bible..
and I read.
1 Juan 4:7
Mga minamahal, mag-ibigan tayo
sapagkat mula sa Diyos ang pag-ibig.
Ang bawat umiibig ay anak ng Diyos,
at kumikilala sa Diyos.
I prayed.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Lord, thank you for this day.
Please forgive me for my sins.
Guide and protect me, my whole family,
and everyone.
I pray for more blessings.
Heal my whole body.
Heal my mind, heart and soul.
Thank you so much. I love you.
I ask this through Christ,
our Lord.
Amen.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Hmm.
Nakatulog..
pala ako.
Ang sakit..
ng mata ko.
Lalo yatang..
sumingkit.
And..
I also..
feel..
drowsy.
I'm..
still..
sleepy..
so..
I lay..
down.
I close..
my eyes.
And..
suddenly..
my phone..
rings.
Unknown.
Sino naman..
kaya 'to?
Oo nga..
pala.
I deleted..
all the digits..
in my contacts.
Dang.
Istorbo.
Inaantok..
pa ako.
Pero..
alam ko..
hindi..
sya..
yun.
Dang.
Shut up.
Ynneu!
Kung ano-ano..
na naman..
iniisip mo.
Sasagutin..
ko ba?
I face..
the wall.
Hmmm.
Hmm.
Hm.
Missed call.
I miss it.
Sorry.
I think..
too much.
Well..
I..
will just..
sleep again.
Then..
suddenly..
my phone..
rings..
again.
Dang.
Sino..
ba 'to?
Hey.
Ynneu!
Paano..
mo malalaman..
kung..
sagutin mo..
kaya?
And..
here I go..
again..
talking..
to myself.
So..
I answer it.
"WHAT THE HELL YNNEU!
ANO?! IGNORING ME?"
Dang.
Sigawan..
ba naman..
ako?
"Who's this?"
sabi ko.
"WHAT?!"
"Sino..
po ba 'to?"
sabi ko ulit.
"GET OUT!"
At..
pinatayan nya ako.
Dang!
Anong bang..
problema nun?
At..
biglang..
bumukas..
ang pinto..
ng room ko.
"YAH.
YNNEU!"
Aigoo.
It's..
Ali.
I get up.
"What?"
sabi ko.
"I SAID..
GET OUT!"
"Ali..
ang aga aga."
sabi ko.
"So..
alam mo pa..
pala..
ang name ko."
Sya pala..
yung tumawag.
She goes..
to my closet..
and..
get my..
green..
hoodie jacket.
"YAH!"
sigaw ko.
Pumunta sya..
sa bed ko..
at..
tinanggal..
ang blanket ko..
sa katawan ko.
"ARE YOU DEAF?
I SAID..
GET OUT!"
Dang.
Is she mad?
"Yeah.
Yeah.
I get it."
I get up..
slowly..
I get..
my phone..
and..
my earphones..
and..
she quickly..
grabs..
my left hand.
Hinila nya ako..
papunta sa labas.
"Anong..
nangyari..
sa mata mo?"
tanong nya.
"Wala."
sagot ko.
"Liar."
sabi nya.
"You're..
hurting..
my hand."
sabi ko.
"Oh.
I'm sorry!"
She let go..
of my hand.
And..
she gives me..
a fake..
smile.
Dinala..
nya ako..
sa parking..
ng motorbike ko.
"Hey.
What..
are you..
planning?"
tanong ko.
"We're..
going out."
sagot nya.
"With..
my bike?"
"Yes!
No more..
questions.
Wear this."
sabi nya.
At..
inabot nya..
yung jacket..
na kinuha nya..
sa closet ko.
"Dang."
And..
she starts..
the engine.
We wear..
the helmets.
At..
sumakay..
na rin ako.
"Mama Vivi..
Sorry po..
Ynneu..
can't join..
on your breakfast.
Bye bye po."
sabi nya kay Mama..
na nandun..
sa may garden namin..
preparing breakfast.
"It's fine.
Happy Birthday..
ulit Deniel!
Drive well.
Take care."
sabi ni Mama..
na nakangiti.
And then..
Ali starts..
to drive.
"Liar."
sabi ko.
"Huh?"
"It's..
not yet..
your birthday."
"Ahaha.
So..
kelan?"
"I..
don't..
know."
"Ouch."
"Liar."
sabi ko ulit.
"Sinungaling..
ka rin!"
"Heh."
"So..
breakfast?"
"Yeah."
"Where..
do you..
want?"
"Anywhere."
"Hmm.
Okay."
sabi nya.
Hindi na ako..
inaantok.
I'm..
so awake..
now.
Tinitingnan..
ko lang..
ang mga..
nadadaanan namin.
The place..
changed..
a lot.
Matagal-tagal..
na rin..
noong..
huling punta..
ko dito.
"Hey.
Aren't you..
sleepy?"
tanong nya.
"No."
"Weh?
Bakit naman?"
"Why?"
"Well..
before..
kahit..
sa anong..
sasakyan..
lagi kang..
natutulog..
sa byahe."
Yeah.
She's right.
"Like..
what you..
said..
that's before."
"You've..
changed."
And..
for about..
15 minutes..
of riding..
She stops..
my motorbike..
sa isang cafe..
named..
"KAHIT SAAN"
"So..
this is..
anywhere."
sabi ko.
"Your wish..
is my..
command."
She smirks..
at me.
"Weird."
"Look..
who's..
talking."
"Meron..
ba ditong..
'KAHIT ANO'?"
"Of course!"
"You're..
kidding."
"I'm..
not.
Let's go!"
And..
we go..
inside.
Konti pa lang..
ang tao.
"Good morning..
Ma'am!
Welcome..
to..
KAHIT SAAN!"
sabi nung..
isang crew..
sa amin.
"Saan tayo..
kakain?!"
sigaw naman..
nung isang crew.
"KAHIT SAAN!"
sigaw nilang lahat.
Pati..
si Ali..
she shouts..
and..
laughs.
But..
I just..
gave her..
a blank face.
Hmm.
So..
she already..
went here.
Weird..
but..
catchy.
May naalala..
tuloy ako.
Nevermind.
Umupo kami..
dun sa..
pinakadulo.
"This..
is..
the perfect..
spot."
I nodded.
Maganda..
ang view.
I can see..
many..
flowers..
particularly..
sunflowers.
It..
looks like..
a small..
garden.
"Aren't you..
amazed?"
tanong nya.
"Li'l."
"Tss.
Fave..
mo diba..
ang sunflowers."
"No..
Not..
anymore."
"Why?"
"How..
did you..
found this..
place?"
"Oh!
Yaz..
invited me.."
sagot nya.
Pero..
bigla syang..
tumigil.
Dang.
Natigilan..
din ako.
I..
look away.
And..
I..
give her..
a..
fake..
smile.
"I'm..
sorry."
sabi nya.
"Naah.
Don't.
It's..
okay."
"Let's..
just..
order."
"You..
decide.
I'll..
just go..
to the C.R."
sabi ko.
"Okay."
At..
pumunta na ako..
sa C.R.
Dang.
I..
face myself..
in the mirror.
Hey.
Ynneu!
Anong..
nangyari sayo?
It's just..
his name!
Ali..
calls him..
Yaz.
Here..
I go..
again..
talking..
to myself.
Why?!
I..
tap my head..
many times.
And..
suddenly..
my tears..
fall down.
So..
I..
quickly..
and..
carefully..
wash..
my face.
Hindi pwede 'to.
Kainis.
Dang.
Sobrang..
sakit..
na naman..
ng mga..
mata ko.
Sobrang..
singkit..
sobrang..
pugto.
Kailangan..
ko nang..
bumalik.
I fix..
my hair.
And..
I open..
the door.
And..
I go..
back..
to our seat.
Hindi..
ko sya..
tiningnan.
Ayoko.
Pero..
alam kong..
nakatingin sya..
sa akin.
Silence..
Hindi..
sya..
nagsasalita.
At..
biglang..
nagkaroon..
ng music.
Saved..
by the music.
WHEN I WAS YOUR MAN by BRUNO MARS ~
Cause my heart breaks a little
when I hear your name ~
Pero..
hindi..
pala.
I am..
deeply..
stab..
by..
that..
painful..
lyrics..
of the song.
Dang.
I get my phone.
Napansin..
nya rin..
yung kanta.
Nananadya..
ba yung..
kanta?
Dang.
"Aaaah."
sabi ni Ali.
Hindi..
ako nagsalita.
Nagpanggap..
ako..
na busy..
ako..
sa phone ko.
At..
dumating na rin..
ang..
breakfast meal..
namin.
"Aaah..
andyan na..
ang order..
natin."
sabi nya.
I just..
look..
at the order.
"Here's..
your hot milk..
with marshmallows."
It..
looks..
familiar.
May..
naalala..
na naman..
ako.
"Hmm."
"Hey.
That's..
your fave!"
sabi niya.
"Hmm.
Actually..
no.
Not..
anymore."
"Heh?"
"Can..
I just..
get yours?"
tanong ko.
"Mine?
But..
this is..
my..
chocolate!
Sabi mo..
I decide."
"I can't..
drink this."
sabi ko.
"Hmm..
Pero..
fave..
ko 'to.
Pero..
sige..
na nga."
Hindi..
ko pa rin..
sya..
tinitingnan.
Nalungkot sya.
Pero..
binigay nya..
pa rin..
sa akin..
yung kanya.
"Thanks."
I look..
at her.
"You're..
welcome."
And..
she smiles.
I am..
about..
to sip..
the chocolate..
pero..
biglang..
may nagsalita..
sa may..
likod ko.
"Hey..
Ali!"
Dang.
That name.
That voice.
Dalawa..
lang..
kaming..
tumatawag..
sa..
name..
nyang..
yun.
I look..
at Ali.
She..
seems..
shock.
"Heeey!"
Tumayo sya..
at hinila..
papalabas..
yung..
tumawag..
sa kanya.
"Yaz.."
bulong ni Ali.
Natigilan ako.
And..
I heard..
his name..
again.
And..
Dang.
I..
feel like..
I am..
so..
deeply..
stab..
again.
Ang sakit..
sobra..
sobrang..
sakit.
My heart..
is..
beating..
so..
fast.
I touch..
my..
left..
chest.
Ayaw..
tumigil.
And..
I..
am stuck..
at the moment.
So..
I get up.
Lumabas ako..
sa kabilang..
pinto.
And..
I..
secretly..
saw..
them.
I saw..
him..
again.
Everytime I see you..
I die a little more ~
SECRET LOVE SONG by LITTLE MIX ~
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 5: PAGTANGGAP (PART 2)
PAGPAPANGGAP AT PAGTANGGAP
YNNEU'S POV
Dang.
It was him.
Aiyaz Dan Ymaga.
My Third Love.
My Ninth Heart Break.
He was just my Kuya before.
He used to call me Ynn.
Short for Ynneu.
Until we had relationship.
I used to call him Ym.
Ym short from Ymaga.
But I don't call him..
with that name now.
Just Aiyaz.
February 28 - June 18.
111 days.
We started dating.
He courted me.
June 19 - August 29.
71 days.
June 19.
I said..
"Yes".
August 29.
I said..
"Let's break up."
August 30 - October 10.
42 days.
We tried to fix our relationship.
But it officially ended..
in October 10.
He asked me..
"Can we just go back..
to what we used before?"
We tried..
to go back..
he as my Kuya..
he can..
but..
I can't.
I was so hurt.
That's why..
I let go of him.
And..
having no second thoughts..
he left me.
He just left me.
Tok. Tok.
I am here now in my room.
After what happened..
I drove my motorbike..
and went back home.
I texted Ali.
And I turned off my phone.
I can't help myself..
Dang.
I'm crying..
so..
hard.
So..
I locked myself..
here in my room.
Mabuti na lang..
walang tao..
at mag-isa lang ako.
Pero..
may kumatok.
Sino?
Pero..
hindi ko pinansin.
Hindi pwede.
I hide myself..
inside my blanket.
Ayoko..
ayokong may..
makakita..
sa akin..
na ganito..
ako..
na ganito..
pa rin ako..
umiiyak..
ng sobra..
nasasaktan..
ng sobra.
Hindi..
hindi pwede.
Pero..
narinig ko..
bumukas..
Ang pinto..
ko.
Dang.
Paano?
Hindi..
ko alam..
kung sino.
Hindi..
ako..
makapagsalita.
Hindi..
ko alam..
ang gagawin ko.
Dang.
"Hanggang kelan..
ka ba magiging ganyan?"
Si Ali.
"Ynneu."
sabi nya.
"Ali..
not now."
sabi ko..
habang nagtatago..
sa kumot ko.
"If not now..
THEN WHEN?!"
sigaw nya.
At..
sapilitan..
nyang..
tinanggal..
ang kumot ko.
Dang.
"WHAT THE HELL?!"
sigaw ko..
habang..
nakapikit..
at..
tumutulo..
ang luha..
mula..
sa..
namumugto..
kong..
mata.
Dang.
Sobrang sakit na.
"ANO BA YNNEU?!"
sigaw ulit nya.
Pinuntahan nya ako..
at..
niyakap.
And..
I..
hug..
her..
back.
At humagulhol..
na ako..
ng iyak..
habang..
yakap..
nya ako.
At..
umiyak..
din..
sya.
At..
nanatili kaming ganun..
ng ilang minuto.
Matagal.
Yun..
ang..
gusto ko.
Gusto ko..
pa rin..
ng..
ganung..
yakap.
Hinintay..
nya ako..
hanggang..
sa..
tumigil..
ang..
pag-iyak ko.
And..
she..
let go..
of me.
"IYAKIN!"
sabi nya..
sabay hampas ng unan.
I smile.
"Yes!" sigaw nya..
na sayang-saya.
"Hmm?"
tanong ko.
"I made you smile."
"Iyakin ka rin."
sabi ko..
at hinampas ko rin sya..
ng unan.
Umalis sya sa kama ko..
at umupo sa sahig.
Tinabihan ko sya.
"Let's talk."
sabi nya.
I nodded.
She face me.
Tiningnan nya ako sa mata.
"I'm sorry."
sabi nya.
I look away.
"I'm sorry din."
sabi ko.
"Hindi ko alam..
na dadating.."
Pero..
pinigilan ko..
ang sasabihin nya.
"Alam ko."
biglang sabi ko.
"Hmm.
So..
tell me."
"What?"
"How are you?"
"I'm okay."
"Liar."
"I'm trying.."
"Ynneu..
You can tell me..
everything..
or anything..
I am here."
"I know."
Tumayo sya.
"Hinayaan kita..
ng ilang buwan..
pero ganyan ka pa rin.."
Pinigilan ko ulit..
yung sasabihin nya.
"Akala ko..
okay na ako..
Akala ko..
kaya ko na..
Akala ko..
tanggap ko na..
Pero..
pero hindi..
hindi pa..
hindi pa rin..
hindi pa rin pala."
At..
nagsimula na namang..
tumulo ang mga luha..
sa mga mata ko.
Nilapitan nya ako.
And..
she..
wipes..
my tears.
"Ang pangit mo!"
sabi nya..
habang tumatawa.
I smile.
"I want to change myself.
I want to change everything.
I want to fix myself.
I want to heal myself.
I want to change so bad."
sabi ko.
And..
then..
she..
suddenly..
slap..
my left face.
Dang.
And..
it's..
strange.
I..
feel..
nothing..
at all.
Numb.
I..
just felt..
so..
awake.
"Mali ka."
biglang sabi nya.
"Ali.."
"ANO!?
MASAKIT BA?"
sigaw nya.
"Hindi."
"MANHID KA NA!"
"Galit ka ba?"
tanong ko.
"HINDI!"
sigaw ulit nya.
"Why are you screaming?!"
sigaw ko rin..
at hampas ng unan.
"Nilalakasan ko lang..
ang boses ko!
Gusto kong..
mapakinggan mo ako..
ng mas malinaw at maayos!"
sigaw nya.
"Okay."
"Ano?
Gising ka na ba?"
"I think so."
"Baka..
gusto mo pa ng isa?"
tanong nya.
"No."
"Gusto ko lang..
magising ka Ynneu..
Akala mo lang ang lahat.
Hindi ka okay.
Hanggang ngayon..
ganyan ka pa rin..
umiiyak ka pa rin."
"I'm sorry."
"Hinayaan kita.
Akala ko..
mas magiging okay ka."
"I'm sorry."
"Wag kang..
magsorry sa akin.
Don't you feel..
sorry for yourself?
Hindi ikaw yan.
Hindi na ikaw yan.
Sobrang nilamon..
ka na ng sakit."
"I'm sorry."
"Kung gusto mo talaga magbago..
wag sa ganyang paraan."
"So paano?"
"Hindi mo dapat..
pilitin ang sarili mo.
Huwag mong pilitin..
ang lahat.
Hindi kasi lahat napipilit.
Hindi lahat pwede mong pilitin."
"Hindi naman.."
"Hindi..
sobra ka pa ring nasasaktan.
Hanggang kelan..
ka magiging ganyan?"
"Hindi..
ko alam."
"Tanggap mo na ba talaga..
o umaasa ka pa rin?"
"Hindi..
ako umaasa.
Tanggap ko na."
"Sigurado ka ba?"
"Oo. Tanggap ko na..
sadyang masakit..
pa rin..
talaga."
"Alam ko."
sabi nya.
"Hindi..
hindi mo alam."
"Alam ko!"
sigaw nya.
"Paano?"
"I also..
experienced that."
"Your ex?"
"My first love."
"I remember."
"Look..
I was also..
that hurt..
back then.
Ganyan din ako sayo."
"What did you do?"
"I let him go.
I let him be happy..
without me.
Ikaw ba kaya mo na?"
"Na maging masaya sya?"
"Na maging masaya sya sa iba?"
"Kaya mo na ba..
na wala sya?"
tanong ulit nya.
Napatungo ako.
"See?
You can't answer.
Hindi mo pa tanggap."
"Tanggap ko na."
"Liar."
"Masaya na ba sya?"
"Paano kung oo?"
"Fine."
"Fine?
Ganun na lang ba Ynneu?
Habang masaya na sya..
ganyan ka pa rin?"
"I'm trying..
I..
just..
can't."
"Don't just try!
Hindi..
hindi mo pa kasi..
talaga natatanggap..
ang lahat.
Pinipilit mo lang..
ang sarili mo.
Pero ang totoo..
you're not..
really..
accepting everything."
"Hindi.."
Ang sakit..
Sobra..
At..
umiiyak..
na naman ako.
"I have a feeling..
that if ever..
that he will..
come back..
to you..
you will..
just accept him..
again."
"No."
"Yes. I know.
Umaasa ka pa rin!"
"Hindi..
naman..
sya..
ganun..
dati."
dahan-dahan kong sabi.
"Sige!
Ano pa?!"
"Bakit..
kaya na nya..
na wala ako?
Bakit..
sobrang..
nagbago sya?"
"Sige!
Sabihin mo..
gusto mong sabihin!"
Dang.
"Ang daya nya!
I hate him!
I hate..
him..
so much.
I so hate myself!"
"Sige lang..
ilabas mo Ynneu."
sabi ni Ali.
"Bakit..
mahal mo pa rin yung taong..
wala naman pakialam sayo?
Mahal mo pa rin..
pala sya.
Ano lang..
pala ako?
Rebound mo?
Ang sama mo!
Ang sama sama mo!
Pinaasa mo ako!
Pinaasa mo lang ako!
Pinagpalit mo ako agad!
Agad-agad?!
Itatapon mo na lang..
ako..
Iiwanan mo lang...
ako..
ng..
basta-basta?
Itatapon mo na lang..
ang lahat-lahat?!
Ganun lang yun?
Ganun lang ba yun?
Paano ako?!
Bakit hinahayaan mo ako?!
Bakit kaya mo na..
na wala ako?!
Bakit mo ako iniwan?!
Bakit mo ako ipinagpalit?!
Pinagpalit mo lang ako..
sa kanya?!
Bakit pa kasi..
sya bumalik?!
Bakit pa bumalik..
ang feelings mo..
sa kanya?!
Bakit hindi nawala..
ang feelings mo..
sa kanya?!
Wala naman yung kwenta!
Wala syang kwenta!
Sinsasaktan ka lang..
nya diba?!
Hindi ka naman mahal nun!
Hindi ka nya mahal!
Ako..
mahal kita!
Sana..
hindi..
hindi na lang..
kita minahal!"
sigaw ko.
"He's such a fool."
galit nyang sabi.
"Hindi..
na..
ba..
nya..
ako..
mahal?
Minahal..
nya..
ba..
talaga..
ako?
Mahal..
na mahal..
ko sya.
Mahal..
na..
mahal..
ko..
pa..
rin..
sya."
"Mahal ka nya Ynneu.
Minahal ka nya.
Pero wala na Ynneu.
Tapos na.
Tama na.
Hayaan mo na sya.
Hayaan mo na syang..
magpakatanga sa iba.
Pero..
ikaw..
wag ka ng magpakatanga..
sa kanya."
At..
niyakap nya ako.
I calm myself.
"I'm so stupid."
"He was once my best friend.
Kilala ko sya.
At naalala mo..
ikaw ang dahilan..
kung bakit..
iniwan nya rin ako.
Sobrang nasaktan..
din talaga ako nun Ynneu."
Oo nga pala.
Magbest-friend sila..
ni Aiyaz.
Pero dahil sa akin..
iniwan ni Aiyaz si Ali.
"Pero alam kong..
mas nasasaktan ka ngayon..
kasi hindi naman..
naging kami..
he was just..
my best friend.
And we're not meant..
to fall in love..
with each other."
She give me a wink.
Alam ko..
best friends lang..
talaga sila.
Kasi..
may ibang mahal si Ali.
At may ibang mahal..
si Aiyaz.
At oo..
hindi ako yun.
Dang.
Sakit.
"But still..
best friends..
mean so much."
sabi ko.
"Ganun talaga yata sya..
letting go..
was a very easy thing..
for him.
Kapag may bago na..
Kapag may bumalik..
Kapag masaya na sya sa iba..
Kapag nasaktan ng sobra..
he will just..
let you go."
malungkot nyang sabi.
"Ali..
I'm still sorry..
for what happened.
Sana hindi na lang..
ako dumating..
sa buhay nyo."
"Baliw!
Hindi ako nagsisisi..
na nakilala kita Ynneu.
Kahit ano man..
ang nangyari..
o nangyayari..
o mangyayari..
I have no regrets.
I'm grateful..
to meet you..
to know you..
and have you.
So don't you ever..
say that!
Magagalit ako sayo!
Hindi ka ba masaya..
na nakilala mo..
ang nag-iisang..
Deniel Eros Alioman?"
nakangiti nyang sabi.
"I'm just saying..
if only I could turn back time..
sana hindi na lang..
talaga..
ako naging close..
sa kanya."
"Edi sana..
hindi ka..
nasasaktan ngayon..
ng sobra?
Ganun ba?"
tanong nya.
"Yeah."
"Everything happens..
for many reasons.
Kung masasaktan ka..
masasaktan ka.
May malalim na rason..
kung bakit ka nasasaktan..
ng sobra ngayon."
"I know..
Pero..
hindi..
kung hindi kami..
naging close..
ng sobra..
hindi ka nya iiwan."
"Hindi.
Sabi ko sayo..
ganun talaga sya..
at..
kung saan sya masaya..
hinayaan ko na lang.
Masakit..
pero..
masaya rin naman ako..
na ikaw ang ipinalit..
nya sa akin."
"Sana nga..
hindi na lang."
"Ynneu..
May something talaga sayo..
There's really something..
special in you.
And I know..
he saw that.
At nakita ko rin yun sayo.
Kaya nga..
naging close din tayo.
At kaya nga..
nandito pa rin ako..
hanggang ngayon..
para sayo."
"Thanks."
"Ikaw kasi!
Tayo dapat..
ang naging mas close.
Ako kaya nauna sayo!
Ako ang classmate mo!
Inagaw ka nya sa akin!"
She pout her lips.
She's cute.
"Sorry talaga.."
sabi ko.
Tama.
Si Ali ang classmate ko..
ahead kasi ng 1-year..
si Aiyaz sa amin.
Pero..
mas naging close kami..
ni Aiyaz.
Umiwas na rin kasi ako..
kay Ali nun.
Alam ko kasing..
nasaktan ko sya.
At pinaiwas..
na rin ako ni Aiyaz..
sa kanya.
Marami ang nagsasabi..
ako daw ang pinalit..
ni Aiyaz sa kanya.
Kaya..
hindi na sila..
naging best friend.
Feeling ko rin..
naagaw ko talaga..
si Aiyaz sa kanya.
At feeling ko rin..
nagalit talaga..
si Ali..
sa akin.
Sana..
hindi na lang talaga..
ako dumating..
sa buhay nila.
Edi sana..
hindi rin ako..
nasasaktan ng ganito.
"Masakit lang talaga nun..
kasi iniwan nyo ako parehas.
Aaminin ko..
medyo..
oo..
konti..
nagalit din ako..
sa kanya..
sayo..
pero..
alam ko naman..
na masaya kayo.
That time..
hindi na rin naman..
kami masaya..
Kaya..
I let him go..
basta ako..
kung saan sya masaya."
Dang.
Nagalit nga sya.
Sobra talaga..
akong nagsisi nun..
sobra rin akong..
nalungkot.
I even..
wrote her a poem.
I felt sorry..
at that time..
and this time.
Dang.
Nakasakit ako ng tao.
She's so kind.
She's so real.
And..
I only hurt her.
I cried..
and I hug her.
"Sorry talaga..
Sorry Ali..
Sana hindi na lang..
ako dumating..
sa buhay nyo.
Sana..
hindi kita nasaktan.
Sana nga..
ikaw na lang..
ang mas naging close ko..
kaysa sa kanya."
"Nagsisisi ka ba?"
"Hindi ko alam..
Hindi..
Oo..
Siguro..
Ewan..
Hindi ko alam."
"Ynneu..
Hindi lang sakit..
ang nararamdaman mo.
Ang dami mo pa rin..
palang tanong sa sarili mo."
Tiningnan ko sya.
"Pain.
Hate.
Annoyance.
Loneliness.
Sadness.
Anger.
Doubts.
Fear."
sabi nya.
"I'm not mad."
"Don't deny it.
I can feel it."
"How?"
"Like what I said..
I've been there."
"Nasasaktan ka..
Naiinis ka..
Nalulungkot ka..
Nagagalit ka..
Naguguluhan ka..
Natatakot ka."
"Just as you said.
Looks like..
this pain..
is the only thing..
that's..
telling me..
that..
I'm still..
alive."
"Can you please..
wake up?!"
"What will I do?
I just..
think..
I'm..
in love..
with..
pain."
"Idiot."
"Yeah."
"You're not in love with pain.
You're addicted to pain."
Dang.
That hits me.
I'm addicted..
to pain..
too much pain.
Natulala ako sa sinabi nya.
"Hey.."
tinapik nya ako.
I look at her.
"Ali..
Sometimes..
I'm..
slowly..
close..
to..
give up."
"Ynneu!
Don't let the pain eat you.
Don't let it kill you!"
Tulala pa rin ako.
"My pain..
doesn't kill me..
but sometimes..
I wish it did."
"Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala!
Ano?!
Gusto mo nang mamatay?
Dang.
He don't deserve you!
You don't deserve him!"
"Bakit..
bakit hindi ko matanggap?"
"Do you really love him that much?"
"Yes."
"What about your family?
Don't you love them?"
"Yeah. I have them..
Of course..
I love them.
But they don't..
really care.
I don't know really..
if they know...
that I'm still existing.
They're so busy..
with so many things.
They're busy enough..
not to care about me.
And..
I don't want them..
to care about me.
Ayoko silang istorbohin.
Ayokong isipin pa nila ako.
Ayokong kaawaan nila ako.
Ayokong problemahin..
pa nila ako."
"You're so selfless."
"It's better..
that they don't know.
It is better..
that they don't care.
It's for the better."
"Mali ka Ynneu.
Mali ka."
"Ali.."
"What about me?"
"Do you ever consider me?"
"Of course..
I only have you."
"Ynneu. You need help.
You don't have..
to fix..
and heal..
yourself..
on your own."
"But..
I can't trust anyone..
anymore."
"Don't you trust me?"
"I trust you.
I trust God.
I trust myself.
And..
no one else."
"So you have..
trust issues now.
But you can't..
be like that forever.
Trust me.
No matter what happens..
you will have to trust again."
"Whatever."
"Ynneu..
it's over.
Everything's over."
"I know."
"Look..
I don't want..
to hurt you more..
but I think..
I have to say this..
and you have to know this..
hindi..
hindi ka na nya mahal..
kasi may mahal syang iba."
"Yeah."
"Alam ko..
umaasa ka pa rin..
kasi..
mahal mo pa sya..
pero hindi..
ka na nya mahal."
Dang.
Ang sakit..
sakit..
pa..
rin..
sobra.
"I know."
"You have to wake up, Ynneu."
"I know."
"You have to accept..
everything first..
whole-heartedly.
Pansamantalang pagtanggap..
yan lang ang ginawa mo."
"Yeah." I nodded.
"You just need time..
to accept everything."
"More time..
I guess."
"Wag mong hayaang..
mas lamunin ka ng sakit.
Wag kang tumambay sa sakit.
Let go.
Get out.
Don't let the pain..
ruin your life.
You can't..
be like that forever.
Move forward.
Life goes on."
"The more I try..
the more..
it keeps..
on getting harder..
and the pain..
my pain..
is getting older."
"Never let that DANG pain..
affect you..
punish you..
kill you..
your present..
and your future."
"The pain..
is still here..
I feel like..
it will stay here..
for a long time.
The tears..
still run down my face..
and..
my heart..
is still..
breaking."
"Just because you feel..
that pain..
doesn't mean..
it's the end..
of everything.
Every day is a new day..
you will never..
be okay again..
if you're like that."
At..
umiiyak na naman ako.
"He don't deserve those tears."
"Yeah."
"Stop crying."
"For I know..
he didn't even cry for me."
"Hindi naman kasi yun iyakin."
"I know."
"Am I that easy to let go?"
"Ynneu.
You decided..
to let him go."
"Yeah.
I’m the one..
who said goodbye..
but..
I'm the one..
who cries a lot..
and..
experience..
so much pain.
Hinayaan nya lang ako.
He didn't even ask me..
what I really want.
He just agreed..
of letting go..
of us.
And that really hurts..
so much."
"No.
He just wants..
to give you time..
and give himself time..
to fix..
and heal yourselves.
Mas masasaktan nyo lang kasi..
ang isa't-isa..
kapag nagpatuloy pa kayo."
"And letting me go..
is the easiest thing..
for him.
It is indeed..
the right..
the best thing..
but..
for me..
it's also the hardest thing."
"Yes."
"But..
he doesn't look like hurting."
"Ano bang..
gusto mong gawin nya?
Ganyan din sa ginagawa mo?
Magpakaadik sa sakit?
Ynneu..
Mali kasi ang ginagawa mo.
Mali ka.
He's hurting too.
He is just not showy.
He is just really..
good in handling pain."
"I experienced pain..
for so many times..
but I still..
get hurt..
so much.
I hope..
I can also..
be good..
in handling this pain.
I'm so weak."
"Ynneu. You're strong.
He's just stronger.
You should be stronger too."
"I will."
"Ynneu.
You just have to remember..
three things..
acceptance..
learning..
and..
change."
"Yeah.
I already changed."
"You don't have..
to literally change yourself.
Grow up..
learn..
and change.
Change for the better..
Ynneu."
"Of course..
I have to grow up..
learn..
and change..
Change for the best."
She kiss me on my right cheek..
And she hugs me.
And..
all I know..
I am lying in my bed.
I open my eyes..
and it still hurts.
My head hurts..
And..
my heart still aches.
It's already evening.
And..
heaven is crying..
so hard.
I'm tired.
I will just..
sleep again.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 6: PAGKIKITA (PART 2)
MULING PAGKIKITA
YNNEU'S POV
I woke up.
My phone vibrates.
Time check.
11:30..
in the evening.
A notification.
Ali's birthday!
Oh.
It's her birthday..
tomorrow.
Muntik ko nang makalimutan.
I'm so bad.
So..
I quickly texted her.
"Advance Happy Birthday Ali!
I'm sorry.
I love you so much.
God bless."
Oo..
advance..
11:31 pa lang naman.
Abot pa ako para sa advance.
Sa sobrang weird ko..
and fond of birthdays..
I always greet..
special persons in my life..
three times.
1. Advance Happy Birthday! (day before)
2. Happy Birthday! (on exact date)
and..
3. Belated Happy Birthday! (day after)
Why?
Wala lang.
Gusto ko lang.
Well..
I can be the person..
who will greet you on advance..
exactly on your birthday..
and..
on the day after your birthday.
I will be the person..
you want me to be.
I am the person..
who is happy..
thankful and excited..
for your upcoming birthday..
who will be there..
for you..
on your birthday..
and..
who will stay with you..
after your birthday.
I can be the person..
who will remain from your past..
who will stick to you at present..
and..
who will always stay with you in the future.
"Dear Ali,
Good morning!
Happy Birthday!
Be happy and enjoy your special day!
You deserve all the best and happiness of life.
Thank you for being the..
best of the best..
best friend to me.
Thank you for being a good sister to me.
Thank you for just being there for me.
Thank you for hearing and understanding..
my silence, pain, sadness and dramas.
Thank you for helping me..
heal and fix myself for the better.
Thank you for not giving up to me.
Thank you for everything.
And I'm sincerely sorry..
for all the problems..
pain and sadness I'm still giving you.
You mean so much to me.
I'm so grateful that I met you..
I knew you and I have you until now..
and until I reach heaven.
You're really one of a kind.
You're beautiful inside and out.
You're such a good person with a kind heart.
I'm just here for you. Take care.
I love you so much.
I love you always.
God bless you more and more.
XOXO.
Love,
Ynneu Qeiv.
I made a birthday message for Ali.
Time check.
12 o'clock..
in the morning.
Birthday Message..
Sending..
Sending..
Sent.
I waited for her reply.
And..
she replied.
"Omo. I'm so touched.
That's very sweet of you.
You're still the same.
Akala ko..
di mo na ako babatiin.
You always greet me..
at exactly 12 a.m.
Thank you Ynneu!
I love you too so much.
I love you always.
I'll wait for that..
hugs and kisses..
from you later."
she replied.
Hmm.
Later?
Looks like..
I'm going out again.
And..
then..
a sudden rainfall comes..
again.
Looks like..
my friend..
heaven..
is sad too.
O kaya naman..
dinadamayan nya ako.
I feel sleepy.
So I close my eyes.
And I fall asleep.
Every move I make
I make with you
You are my way Jesus ~
EVERY MOVE I MAKE by HILLSONG
Alarm.
It's already 7 a.m.
I get up.
I get the Bible and I read.
1 Juan 4:7
Mga minamahal, mag-ibigan tayo
sapagkat mula sa Diyos ang pag-ibig.
Ang bawat umiibig ay anak ng Diyos,
at kumikilala sa Diyos.
I prayed.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Lord, thank you for this day.
Thank you for giving me Ali.
I hope for more years with her.
Please forgive me for my sins.
Guide and protect me, my whole family,
and everyone.
I pray for more blessings.
Heal my whole body.
Heal my mind, heart and soul.
Thank you so much. I love you.
I ask this through Christ,
our Lord.
Amen.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
Hmm.
I stand up.
Binuksan ko ang bintana sa room.
The raindrops..
are still slowly falling..
and it's pretty dark today.
I sigh.
Ali's birthday will be..
full of blessings.
And napansin ko..
sa table ko..
my fave..
but not anymore.
A cup of hot milk..
with marshmallows..
and hot pandesal..
with cheese..
with a note..
saying..
"Today.
10 a.m.
@Alioman's Residence.
You will come or..
I will kill you."
From Ali.
That girl.
Dang.
I'm..
really..
going out.
So..
I have my breakfast.
And..
I fix myself.
I wear plain black V-shirt..
black-fitted maong shorts..
black rubber shoes..
black eyeglasses..
and black cap.
Time check.
8:00 a.m.
I get my phone.
I plug my earphones.
I turn on the music.
STILL by HILLSONG
Then..
Ali texted.
"I don't want..
to kill my best friend..
on my special day.
Kaya para sure..
akong pupunta ka..
I ask them to pick you up.
See you..
Ynneu.
I love youuu."
Ali texted.
Tss.
Dang.
Them?
Who?
I'm not a kid anymore..
who needs a ride..
from someone.
I texted her.
"I can go alone."
At..
lumabas ako sa room ko.
And..
I saw..
Ate Ely.
She's watching on the TV..
and she's eating breakfast..
alone.
Eleyn Iven Ertsala.
My older sister.
She is just one-year older to me.
She's my real best friend..
before.
My sixth heart break.
Sobrang close namin..
dati.
Pero..
hindi na ngayon.
Kasi iniwan nya lang din ako.
Nagbago rin sya.
Naging mas masaya sya sa iba.
Nakalimutan na nya ako.
Hanggang ngayon..
nagtatampo pa rin ako..
sa kanya.
Pero okay na naman kami.
At tanggap ko na rin.
She will not be there..
for me..
always.
She have to live..
her own life too.
Nasanay lang ako..
na lagi..
ko syang kasama..
dati..
para kaming kambal..
na hindi kami mapaghiwalay.
Pero unti-unti syang nagbago..
unti-unti nya akong sinaktan..
unti-unti nya akong iniwan..
dahil kay Kuya Kneaxi.
"Kibby!" bati nya sa akin.
Kibby nickname ko dito sa bahay.
Ely naman ang tawag sa kanya.
"Hey." sabi ko.
"Kumain ka na?"
"Opo."
"Aa. Sige. Sabay na tayo..
pagpunta kina Deni."
Dang.
Them.
I can't back out.
Ali!
"I'll just buy something."
"Oh. Okay.
Magpayong ka..
baka lumakas ang ulan..
baka mabasa ka."
Lumabas ako sa bahay.
Pero hindi ako nagdala ng payong.
Umaambon lang naman.
Okay na ako sa cap ko.
So..
I ride on my motorbike.
And..
I go to the nearest store.
I bought a small gift for Ali.
I put it on my pocket.
Then I ride back home.
The rain already stopped.
The sun comes out..
and it shines brightly.
Hmm.
Sudden weather changes.
I saw a black car outside.
It's Kuya Patch's car.
I park my motorbike.
Then I hear noises..
and laughs..
inside the house.
And they come out..
at our terrace.
It's them.
"Hey Qeiv!"
That's Shaouneile.
A classmate.
One of my close friend.
"Kibby!"
That's Kuya Kneaxi.
Ali's cousin.
Ate Ely's boyfriend.
"Good morning, Ynneu."
And that's..
Erries Renzo Patchialle.
My first crush.
My second love.
My eighth heart break.
Shaouneile's older brother.
Ate Ely’s..
and Kuya Kneaxi's classmate.
I used to call him Patch..
Patch comes from..
his last name Patchialle..
but I'm calling him now..
Kuya Patch.
And before..
he used to call me Kib.
And he's calling me now..
with my real name..
Ynneu.
Because everything has changed.
"Hey." I said.
And I just give them..
a fake smile.
Me.
Ate Ely.
Shaouneile.
Kuya Kneaxi.
Kuya Erries.
We all met at school.
And we're all part..
of university's..
cultural performing troupe.
I wait for them.
I stay outside.
And..
they go outside too.
They look so happy.
I feel like..
I don't belong.
Shaouneile approach me.
"Qeiv!
Aren't you coming with us?"
"I'm coming."
"Ganyan na ba suot mo?"
"Yes Shaou!
Hindi ko nga alam..
kung anong nakain nyan.
She's been like that..
these past few days."
sagot ni Ate Ely..
Hindi na ako sumagot.
"You look cool, Kibby!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
I just nodded.
Napatingin ako kay Kuya Patch.
At nakatingin din sya sa akin.
Nagkatingin kami.
Pero bigla din kaming umiwas.
"Ehem. Ehem."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Awkward pa sila..
Kuya Kneax!"
sabi ni Shaouneile..
"Kneax." saway ni Ate Ely.
"Time check. 9:30 a.m.
Let's get going?"
biglang sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Let's go!" sabi ni Shaouneile.
We ride Patch's car.
Syempre si Patch ang driver.
Nauna silang sumakay..
at dun silang tatlo..
pumwesto sa likod.
No other space.
At dun nila ako pinasakay..
beside the driver's seat..
sa tabi ni Kuya Patch.
Wala na akong nagawa.
Okay lang naman siguro.
Kahit..
medyo awkward pa..
talaga kami.
We had something..
but it ended so quick..
and became nothing.
Matagal na din kaming..
hindi nagkikita..
at hindi nagkakausap.
Ngayon na lang ulit.
It's just he's busy..
with his work..
and..
with his new girlfriend.
Then..
Kneaxi turn on the music.
WITH A SMILE by THE ERASERHEADS
Nagkatinginan ulit kami..
ni Kuya Patch.
He smiles at me.
Pero umiwas ako agad.
Nagtawanan sila sa backseats.
Dang.
This is so awkward.
That song.
He used to sing..
that song to me..
before.
What is happening..
to you Ynneu?!
I calm myself.
So..
I keep myself busy..
feeling..
the cold wind outside..
and watching..
how different trees..
leaves..
flowers and grasses dance.
"How are you?"
bigla sabi ni Kuya Patch.
I look at him..
and..
he smiles again..
and..
I look away again.
Nanigurado lang ako..
kung ako talaga..
ang tinatanong nya.
"I'm fine po." sabi ko.
"We're also..
fine here.. dre."
singit ni Kuya Kneaxi..
sabay tawa ulit..
nilang tatlo sa likod.
Nakikinig pa rin pala sila.
Nang-iinis talaga sila.
"Heh Kneax!
Malapit na tayo!"
sigaw ni Kuya Patch..
sabay tingin ulit sa akin.
Nagkatinginan ulit kami.
And we both look away.
He's right.
Malapit na nga kami.
I already see the ocean.
"Sorry..
ang kulit nila."
sabi nya.
"It's fine." sagot ko.
I don't ask him back..
kung kamusta sya.
He seems fine..
I guess.
Pero..
napansin ko..
parang..
malungkot..
ang mga mata nya..
And we arrive..
in Ali's residence.
We see Ali..
on the front gate.
She's wearing..
a red small dress..
and black boots.
"Hmm. Wala na bang mas aaga?
You're just in time.
Well, then.
Welcome to..
Alioman's Residence!"
sabi ni Ali..
na mukhang sobrang excited.
They kiss and hug her.
Nasa likod lang ako.
"BEAUTIFUL DENI DENI DENI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Happy Birthday Deni!
You look wonderful."
sabi ni Ate Ely..
at Kuya Kneaxi.
"Happy Birthday..
to my prettiest cousin!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
He give him..
a bouquet of red roses.
Ali's fave.
"THANK YOU!
My fave!
Of course..
I'm the prettiest!
I'm your only cousin!"
sigaw ni Ali sabay tawa nilang lahat.
Nakakatawa ba yun?
"So before we come in..
where's the password?"
"Oh! Here.
Kumpleto na yan."
binigay ni Shaouneile..
ang isang paper bag.
"Okay. You all pass."
Ali smiles.
"Hmm. Sige. Pasok na kami."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
And he looks at me.
I look at him too.
At pumasok na sila.
Ali looks at me.
Naiwan kami ni Ali sa labas.
“Hmm?”
She gives me a weird smile.
"Bookworm."
"You too."
Books.
Ali is very fond of books.
I'm a bookworm too..
but I'm not compared to her.
She even made..
a small library in her room.
At dun kami madalas tumambay.
I transferred all my books..
in her room.
We treat each other rooms..
as ours.
She is an only child.
And I'm the youngest..
in our family.
Ever since..
she really wants..
to have a sibling.
And it happens that..
we met at school.
And we became close..
at first..
and that happened..
between..
her..
me..
and Aiyaz.
We had problems.
So I ignored her.
And she ignored me.
We ignored each other.
For I know she was hurt..
and I hurt her.
And with that relationship..
with Aiyaz..
I was hated..
by all my family..
and my close friends..
who knew about us.
They were all mad at me.
So after school..
I always go..
to the seaside..
I screamed..
all my rants..
I cried..
all my pains..
and one time..
she suddenly..
approached me.
She talked with me.
She said..
their home is just near.
She heard me..
and..
she came to hug me..
to help me..
and..
she wants to be there..
for me.
At first..
I thought..
that she's mad at me..
but..
she said..
she didn't.
I didn't believe her.
We're awkward..
so I refused her.
But..
she forced herself..
to me.
She wanted..
to be my friend.
She wanted..
to be there for me.
And with that..
we became really close.
I gave her..
a nickname "Ali".
And..
Aiyaz used..
to call her that too.
Ali comes..
from her surname Alioman.
Since then..
we always meet..
at the seaside..
near their house.
And..
I get to know..
her better.
She was cheerful..
happy-go-lucky..
slight boyish..
and tough..
on the outside..
and..
super girly..
and soft..
in the inside.
We share each other..
our happiness..
and..
we solve..
each other's problems.
She is the only person..
who accepted..
my relationship..
with Aiyaz.
She knows our love story..
very much.
We became best friends..
and..
more than that.
We treated each other..
as soul sisters.
"What is that style?"
tanong ni Ali.
She looks at me..
from head to feet.
Tinanggal nya ang cap ko.
"Tell me..
are you attending..
my party..
or a funeral?"
Tss.
Hindi ko sya pinansin.
"Happy Birthday." sabi ko.
"Where's my XOXO?"
"Heh."
Matagal..
na kaming magkakilala..
but it's still..
awkward for me.
I'm not really showy.
But..
I kiss her..
on her left cheek.
and..
I hug her..
and..
she hugs me back.
It feels like..
I need her hug..
more than..
she needs mine.
We stay like that..
for about..
5 minutes.
"Thank you for coming."
sabi ni Ali.
"Did you think..
I will not come?"
tanong ko.
"Yeah. I'm worried."
"I'm fine."
"Aiyaz will be here..
later."
"I know."
"I'm just saying."
"I'll be fine."
"You will."
"About yesterday.."
sabi ko.
"Hmm?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"I love you."
"Sweet.
I love you too."
At humiwalay na sya.
"Tara na sa loob." sabi nya.
"Hmm. I want to make..
a walk over there."
sabi ko.
"Hmm.
I know..
how you're in love..
with oceans..
but..
can you please..
do that later?"
"Hmm. Okay."
Kinuha ko sa kanya..
ang cap ko..
and..
I wear it again.
At pumasok..
na rin kami sa loob.
Mamaya ko na lang din..
ibibigay ang small gift..
ko sa kanya.
Her birthday was always..
a grand celebration..
and..
it's just a piece of cake..
for her family..
for she is..
an only child.
And then..
"Ynneu.. anak!
Namiss ka namin!"
bati sa akin ni Mama Aki..
with hugs and kisses.
"I miss you din po." sabi ko.
"Kamusta ka na anak?
Bakit hindi ka na..
madalas dito sa bahay?"
tanong naman ni Papa Ayi.
"Busy lang po Tito."
sagot ko.
"Sige. Enjoy kayo."
sabi nila.
And we go around.
I see many familiar faces.
"Hi Ynneu!"
It's..
Kuya Jocrise.
Ate Thyca.
Ate Janeal.
Ate Tesmai.
Aizaell.
Carlaen.
Saumi.
Sojean.
Lheima.
Ryngel.
They were all part..
of the Arts League.
It happens..
that I am also..
part of it.
We draw..
sketch and paint.
We make..
different kinds of arts.
Then there's also..
Ate Shayana.
Ate Dayana.
Ate Joauine.
Ate Araince.
Ate Gleiss.
Riyana.
Heidyi.
Gaiylev.
They were part..
of the Student Council..
United Children of God..
and Password Publication.
Ali and I..
were also part of them.
We make news..
write features and literary..
draw comics and cartoons..
and publish newspapers..
magazines..
folios..
books..
"Here Kibby! We're here."
Ate Ely call me.
I sit beside them.
Ate Ely.
Kuya Kneaxi.
Kuya Patch.
Kuya Jeomker.
Shaouneile.
Maeryean.
Fraenchi.
Joieye.
Eroseann.
Ali.
and..
me.
We were part..
of HESHE Cultural Performing Group.
We act and perform..
sing and dance.
And..
suddenly..
the celebration begins.
Ate Dayana speak in front.
She is the host..
of today's celebration.
"Good day everyone!
To formally start this celebration..
Let's all stand..
and ask God's guidance."
Then..
we watch on the projector..
HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD by CHRIS TOMLIN.
We also sing together.
"Amen!
God is really great!
Now.
Let's all welcome here..
to own the stage..
the Bookworm..
the Bassist..
the main star of today's party..
the birthday celebrant..
Deniel Eros Alioman!
A big round of applause!
"Hey! First of all..
I want to say..
thank you to God..
for this wonderful day!
Kahit medyo umulan kanina.
Thank you also to my parents.
I love you so much.
And to all of you here.
Thank you for coming!
Thank you for the gifts.
So let's get the party started!"
masayang sabi ni Ali.
"YEAH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEN/DENI/EROS!"
At nagsigawan silang lahat.
Ali stays in front.
Ate Dayana speaks once again.
"Oh yes!
Happy Birthday again..
Deni girl!"
Then there came a three-layered..
giant red rose cake.
It looks fancy..
tasty and flavorful.
Everyone is amazed.
"Here comes the cake..
Let's all be ready to sing!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
Happy birthday to you ~
Happy birthday, happy birthday ~
Happy birthday Deni ~
And then..
Ali blows her cake.
They give her..
a round of applause.
"Happy Birthday..
once again Deni!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Happy Birthday Ali!"
biglang sigaw..
mula sa may labas.
That voice again.
Dang.
"Here comes the Lead Vocalist!
Mr. Aiyaz Dan Ymaga!"
Nagpalakpakan sila.
He sure make..
a grand entrance.
Pero hindi ko sya matingnan.
Dang.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Ali.
She smiles at me.
I want to stand and walk away..
pero..
hindi ko magawa.
That smile of Ali..
wants me to stay.
Then..
bigla ulit nagsalita..
si Ate Dayana.
"Looks like..
the band members..
are all here now."
So..
for our first surprise..
to our Deni girl..
Are you ready..
iLINERS?
Let's all welcome them..
here on stage..
Shayana - The Drummer
Deniel - The Bassist
Qeiv - The Guitarist/Vocalist
Crishaunt - The Keyboardist
So.. Sam is here too.
and..
Aiyaz - The Lead vocalist
THE REUNION..
OF THE FRONTLINERS BAND!
FRONTLINERS BAND.
iLINERS.
That’s the name..
of our FANS CLUB.
Ate Dayana looks at me.
And she nods her head.
Hmm.
Looks like..
everyone..
is shock.
And now..
they're setting up..
the instruments.
And..
everyone..
is clapping..
and waiting..
for..
us.
Dang.
Are they serious?
This is supposed..
to be a surprise to Ali.
But why I am suprise too?
I look at Ali.
But..
she's busy talking..
to Aiyaz.
Dang.
"Qeiv! Kakanta pala kayo?"
tanong ni Shaouneile.
Ate Ely.. Kuya Kneaxi..
and Kuya Patch..
is also looking at me.
Dang.
And then..
I see..
Ate Shayana..
go up on stage.
Nagkatinginan kami..
and she smiles at me..
and she's inviting me..
to go to the stage too.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
It's really real.
But..
I remain calm..
and empty face.
I can't..
stand up.
Buti na lang may cap ako.
I bow my head.
I need to think.
But..
someone..
approach me..
in my seat.
"Let's go Ynneu."
It's..
Elmou Crishaunt Sampagn.
My first love.
My seventh heart break.
I used to call him Sam.
Sam from Sampagn.
I stand up.
Dang.
I can't escape.
I'm not going out.
I have to change.
You're a tough woman..
now Ynneu!
Start right now.
Don't back off.
Be strong!
Tinanggal ko ang cap ko.
And I left it on my seat.
I look at him..
and go on my own.
Nandito nga sya.
Pero hindi..
ko sya nakita kanina.
Buhay pa pala sya.
Matagal na rin..
nung huling pagkikita namin.
Hindi pa rin sya nagbabago.
He's still..
Gentleman.
and..
Sweet.
I go up on stage.
Sam followed me.
And..
Ate Dayana and Ate Shayana..
hug and kiss me..
on my left cheek..
"Ynneu.. Please smile."
Ate Dayana whisphers at me.
But how can I smile?
Did they plan this?
Why didn't they inform me?
Dang.
I want to go straight to Ali..
but I can't.
He's with Aiyaz.
So..
I just get the guitar..
and stand in front.
Dang.
Ali!
If you know all about this..
you're dead.
I close my eyes.
"A round of applause please..
for our very own FRONTLINERS!"
sigaw ni Ate Dayana.
Aiyaz..
then goes in the middle..
and speak.
Dang.
He's just..
five feet apart from me.
Nagwawala ang puso ko.
It's beating so fast..
and..
it's aching so bad too.
Stop!
Oh.
Please stop!
"To my once best friend Ali..
Happy Birthday!
The rain..
fell awhile ago.
But now..
the sun shines..
brighter today..
as a way to wish you..
a happy day.
I'm so happy..
to see everyone again.
It's been a long time..
iLINERS!
I miss you all!
Do you miss us?
I'm so glad to perform again..
with my band.
So..
we're going to sing now..
for you Ali..
and for everyone..
along with the..
angels in heaven.
So here we go!
1. 2. 3!"
sigaw ni Aiyaz.
SUMMER SONG by SILENT SANCTUARY
Ali starts to play..
her electric bass guitar.
Everyone claps and screams.
Ate Shayana begins..
to play his drum..
and..
Sam with his keyboard.
He looks at me.
I look away.
Dang.
Naiinis pa rin ako.
Then..
I play my guitar.
And Aiyaz starts singing.
Magkatabi tayo sa duyan ~
sa ilalim ng buwan ~
Buhangin sa ating mga paa ~
Ang dagat ay kumakanta ~
Dang.
Lalong nagwala ang puso ko.
My heart.
My mind.
My soul.
The..
Pain.
Hate.
Annoyance.
Anger.
Fear.
Dang.
Tears..
Don't come out.
Please!
Everyone sings..
in the chorus part.
They are all having fun.
And then..
the song ended.
Dang.
I want to go out.
I want to come home.
I need my bed.
I need my blanket.
I need Ice Bear.
I need myself.
I need to be alone.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 7: PAG-ALALA (PART 3)
MULING PAG-ALALA
YNNEU'S POV
Inaamin ko.
Magagaling pa rin sila.
He's still good..
in singing.
Everyone claps..
and screams..
once again.
"Thank you!" sigaw ni Aiyaz.
I'm about..
to get down the stage..
pero..
Ate Dayana stops me.
Dang.
"Wow!
What a splendid performance!
You're all still very good!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Thank you everyone!"
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"So let's welcome here..
once again in the middle..
our birthday celebrant Deni."
Nasa stage pa rin kaming lahat.
I look at Ali.
And..
she gives me a fake smile.
Looks..
like she don't know everything.
She looks shock..
at the moment.
"What can you say now Deni girl?"
tanong ni Ate Dayana.
"Oh.
What a shocking surprise!
I'm really surprised!
Whoever is the mastermind..
behind this..
you made me really happy!
It's very unexpected!
Thank you!
I really miss..
performing live.
I miss you..
so much guys.
Thank you everyone."
sabi ni Ali..
na medyo naiiyak pa.
Hmm.
Wala talaga syang alam.
You're saved Ali.
"Mission accomplished!
We're glad..
that we make you happy.
Well..
your dear parents..
planned all of this.
They really want..
to make you happy."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Oh.
That's why.
Thank you..
Mom and Dad!
I love you..
so much."
sabi ni Ali.
And then..
her Mom and Dad..
go to the stage too.
They kiss..
and hug each other.
"We love you too..
so much..
anak."
sabi nila kay Ali.
"Anak..
we know that..
one of your wish..
is really..
to be..
with your band again.
That's why..
we invited them.
And we just want..
to say thank you..
to your bandmates..
who came..
and perform with you..
again.
Mga anak..
along with..
the other sisters..
and brothers of Deni..
thank you for being..
good children to us..
and..
good siblings to our Deni.
I know..
you're all surprised too..
because..
they don't really know..
about this too."
paliwanag ni Mama Aki.
Hmm.
Sa sobrang close talaga namin..
sa banda..
itinuring na rin..
kaming mga anak..
nina Mama Aki at Papa Ayi.
"No problem..
Mama Aki and Papa Ayi.
Anything.
Anytime po."
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"Hay naku..
Mom and Dad..
For sure..
they were really surprised."
sabi ni Ali..
and she looks at me.
I just look at her.
"So for now let's ask them..
what is your message..
sa inyong kapatid na si Deni?
Let's start first kay Shayana."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
Dang.
Nasabi ko na naman lahat kay Ali.
Haaays.
"Happy Birthday Deni!
I miss you so much.
I wish you..
more happiness..
and blessings.
I'm just here for you always..
your Ate Shayana.
I love you."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Birthdays are the milestones..
of this adventurous journey..
we call life.
Kuya Crishaunt..
will always be there for you.
Happy Birthday Deni!
I always love you..
little sister."
sabi ni Sam.
"Hmm.
Nasabi ko na..
kanina message ko..
pero Deni..
I'm always grateful..
since the day I met you..
until now..
that I have you..
as my little sister.
I hope for the right man..
who will give you true love..
will come to you this year!
Just kidding!
More fruitful love for you Ali..
with your family.
I love you. Happy Birthday!"
sabi ni Aiyaz.
And it's my turn.
Silence.
Bakit ang tahimik?
"Hmm.
The world is beautiful..
but God..
made it more beautiful..
because of you.
Life is boring..
without you Ali.
I always look forward..
to enjoy..
everlasting friendship..
and more happy birthdays..
with you."
sabi ko.
Everyone claps at us.
"Aww.
Your wishes and messages..
touched me..
and..
made my birthday..
more special.
It's definitely the best day..
to remember.
Thank you so much!"
sabi ni Ali.
After that..
I quickly..
go down the stage.
I have to go.
I can't stay here.
I am about..
to go outside..
but..
someone holds my hand.
"Hey."
It's Ali.
"Where are you going?"
tanong nya.
"Outside."
sabi ko.
"Are you coming back?"
"Maybe later."
"Swear?"
"I swear."
"Here."
Inabot nya sa akin ang cap ko.
How did she get this?
"Text me." sabi nya.
"Okay."
She let me go.
Alam ko..
naiintindihan nya ako.
And..
I go outside.
I can't go home.
I swear..
I'll come back.
So..
I go..
to the seaside.
I need to relax.
I need to calm myself.
I need some fresh air.
I need some time..
alone.
Dang.
This heart..
this pain..
I hate you!
I scream.
I breakdown.
I hate you!
Aaaaaaaaah!
I cry.
My tears..
suddenly fall down.
I punch my chest.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
"Hey."
That voice..
again.
I turn away.
I wipe my tears.
"Ynn."
sabi nya.
My heart skips a beat.
That's name.
Sya lang..
tumatawag sa akin nun.
Dang.
I don't know what to say.
"I just want..
to say something."
Hindi pa rin ako nagsasalita.
"Ynn. It's okay..
if you don't want..
to talk to me..
Please..
please just hear me out."
sabi nya.
Hinayaan ko sya.
"How are you?
The last time we talked..
sabi mo..
okay ka na.
Pero hearing you..
and seeing you..
a while ago..
I know..
you're not..
really fine.
I'm still..
sorry..
for everything.
You know..
how I hate goodbyes.
Pero yun..
ang huling sinabi..
mo sa akin.
Please.
Talk to me.
Ayokong ganito tayo."
sabi nya.
Hinarap ko sya.
"Ano bang ganito?!"
sigaw ko..
and I'm crying.
Dang.
Ynneu!
Umiiyak ka na naman!
In front of him?
Ang hina mo talaga.
"Ynn.."
"I'm not okay!
I'm not really okay!
I have never been okay..
Oo..
sinabi ko..
okay lang ako.
Okay na ako..
pero hindi!
Hindi.."
sigaw ko sa kanya.
"Alam ko.."
"Alam mo?
Alam mo pala..
Pero bakit..
bakit hinahayaan..
mo lang ako?"
"Kasi yun..
ang gusto mo diba.."
"Hindi mo..
man lang ako tinanong..
kung yun ba talaga..
ang gusto ko.
Sa tingin mo..
yun talaga..
ang gusto ko?"
Tinalikuran ko ulit sya.
"Ynn..
Kaya ako pumayag kasi..
yun din..
ang pinakatama..
nating gawin..
para sa mas..
ikakabuti nating dalawa."
"Tama. Oo. Tama."
"I'm sorry.."
"Yan ka na naman Aiyaz Dan Ymaga.
That stupid sorry of yours.
Wala..
Wala nang magagawa..
ang paghingi mo ng tawad.
Your sorry..
will not fix..
my broken heart."
sabi ko.
"Are you mad at me?"
"I'm so mad..
at myself.
I so hate myself."
"Please..
don't hate yourself."
"Who are you..
to tell me that?"
"Ynn..
You can just..
call me Kuya again."
Yeah.
I used to call him Kuya.
Not before..
we fell in love..
or..
I fell in love.
Dang.
"Kuya..
I just hope..
right from the start..
you remain..
to be..
just my Kuya."
"Ynn..
Do you regret us?"
"Us?
Us..
I don't know.
Whether I regret it..
or not..
nothing will change."
"Ynn..
Akala ko ba..
babalik lang tayo..
sa dati?"
Dang.
Dati.
"Sa dati?
I am so stupid.
You made me believe..
that we can go back.
Pero..
wala..
wala na tayong babalikan."
"Ynn..
What do you want me to do?"
"Just forget about me."
"Forget you?
Are you serious?
You know I can't do that."
"Do..
I look like joking?
You can.
You did.
You don't care about me.
You ignored about me..
for days..
months..
years.
No one was there."
"You let me go."
"No.
You chose not to stay.
You left me all alone.
Aiyaz Dan Ymaga.
Ang daya mo.
Ang daya daya mo.
Sa lahat ng tao..
ikaw pa..
alam kong alam mo..
ikaw lang..
ang meron ako."
"No."
"Katulad ka rin..
ng iba.
Katulad ka rin..
nila.
Lahat kayo..
iniwan lang ako.
Lahat iiwan lang ako."
"Nandito pa rin..
naman ako.
At marami pang..
nandyan para sayo."
"Where are they?
You know..
I'm so unlike you.
You have..
so many friends..
Pero paano naman ako?
Ikaw lang..
ang meron ako..
and..
you chose..
not to stay."
"Wag..
mong sabihin yan Ynn.
You have..
family..
and..
friends too."
"Yeah.
I do have.
But..
just like you..
they all believe..
that I'm okay.
Just like you..
they don't really know..
the real me.
And I don't want..
to bother anyone..
just because..
I'm not okay.
That's why..
I chose..
to be alone."
"Nasaktan din ako Ynn."
"Araw-araw kong iniisip..
ano bang mali sa akin?
Sobrang masama..
ba akong tao..
para iwanan..
at saktan ng ganito?"
"Walang mali sayo."
"Ako lang naman talaga.
The problem is just me.
Nasasaktan pa rin ako..
hanggang ngayon.
At..
sobrang sakit..
pa rin."
"Ynn..
Please.
Wag ganito."
"Don't call me..
with that name..
I'm not..
that person..
anymore."
"I'm sorry..
I'm really sorry.
Please..
ayokong ganyan ka."
"But..
you made me..
like this."
"Ano ba Ynneu?"
malungkot nyang sabi.
"Anong ano ba?"
I face him.
He is about..
to hold my hand..
pero..
lumayo ako.
"Don't touch me."
"Hindi ka naman..
ganyan dati."
"Hindi ka rin naman..
ganyan dati."
"Everything..
has changed.
Hindi na..
ikaw yan."
"Oo. Hindi na..
Wala na..
yung dating ako."
"Ynn. You can change..
but you can't go back..
to who you were before.
Please.
I once healed you..
but..
please..
don't go back."
"Aiyaz Dan Ymaga.
You killed my body.
You broke my trust.
You murdered my heart.
You fooled my mind.
You weakened my soul.
You ruined my life.
You wasted everything.
But..
I am not stupid..
to end my life..
just because of you.
I will be..
a better person..
on my own."
"Thank you."
Tinalikuran ko ulit sya.
"Let's just..
forget everything."
"No.
What about..
our happy..
and..
good memories..
together?"
"It was happy..
way back then.
Happy or sad..
good or bad..
memories will be..
just memories."
"No.
Please..
give me..
another chance."
"A chance..
to break me again?"
"No."
"I believe..
our purpose..
with each other..
my mission to you..
and..
your mission to me..
was already done."
"Are you saying..
goodbye?"
"Just forget..
about me.
And..
I'll forget..
about you..
as if nothing happened..
as if we never meet..
as if I never existed."
"Is that really..
what you want?"
"I already..
forgive you.
Don't worry..
about me anymore.
I'll get over you soon..
and..
I'll be okay."
"Okay. I get it."
"Please.
Leave me alone now."
"I just want to say..
one more thing..
I miss you..
so much."
Dang.
Nagwala na naman..
ang puso ko.
I hate it..
how he makes..
my heart beats
so fast.
And I hate it..
how he gives me..
this killing pain.
"Please." sabi ko.
"I'm sorry..
if I disappointed you.
I'm sorry..
if I turned out..
to be the person..
you don't expect me..
to be.
I'm sorry..
if..
I can't be there..
for you anymore.
I'm sorry..
for breaking..
the whole you.
I'm sorry..
if we turned out..
like this.
I'm not..
saying goodbye.
Please..
stop crying.
I'm not..
worthy of those tears.
You don't deserve me.
I hope to see you..
soon..
the healed..
the new..
the happy..
the better..
the best..
you..
Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala."
At iniwan nya ako.
At..
hinayaan..
nya lang ulit ako.
Dang.
Ynneu.
My tears..
suddenly fall down.
Umiiyak ka pa rin.
Can you please..
stop?
Stop!
I punch..
my chest again.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Nawala..
ang balance ko.
And..
I am about..
to fall down..
but..
someone..
come..
to..
me.
Bakit sya nandito?
Sinundan..
nya rin ba ako?
Narinig nya ba lahat?
And..
I fall out.
Paggising ko..
I'm in Ali's room.
I get up.
"Hey."
It's..
Kuya Patch.
I just look at him.
"Are you feeling..
better now?"
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry..
I heard..
everything."
Dang.
Sabi ko na.
"Why?"
"I just..
can't leave you."
Ayoko nang pag-usapan.
Bahala na.
"Are you mad?"
tanong nya.
"Thank you."
"No worries."
At biglang dumating..
sina Ate Ely..
Kuya Kneaxi..
at Shaouneile.
"Hey."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Okay ka na ba?"
tanong ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"What happened?"
tanong naman ni Shaouneile.
I look at Kuya Patch.
Hindi nya sinabi?
He just smiles at me.
"I'm okay now."
sabi ko.
"Good."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Sige magpahinga ka muna."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Tara na muna.
We'll come back later."
sabi naman ni Shaouneile.
I just nodded..
and lie again..
on Ali's bed.
And then..
the door opens again.
"Ynneu?"
So I get up again.
It's Ate Dayana..
Ate Shayana..
Riyana..
and Sam.
"Hey."
sabi ni Sam.
"Are you okay?"
tanong ni Ate Dayana.
"We heard what happened."
sabi ni Riyana.
"You don't look fine..
Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"No. I'm fine now po."
sabi ko.
Then..
we hear a ring..
from..
Sam's phone.
"Oh.
Sorry..
I'll just answer this."
And he leaves the room.
At nagsalita ulit..
si Ate Dayana..
na parang..
mukhang seryoso.
"Ynneu.."
"Hmm?"
tanong ko.
"We..
actually..
heard..
everything."
Everything?
What do they mean..
everything?
Hmm.
Dang.
"Ano pong everything?"
tanong ko.
"Lahat-lahat."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
Dang.
"I don't understand po."
"Ynneu..
We..
followed..
you..
at the..
seaside."
sabi ni Riyana.
"We're just worried..
about you."
sabi naman ni Ate Shayana.
Dang.
Nandun nga sila.
Aigoo.
Natulala ako.
They heard everything.
"I'm..
sorry po."
sabi ko.
"No. No.
Don't be sorry."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
I..
suddenly..
feel..
my tears..
again.
Ang iyakin ko talaga.
"Sorry."
sabi ko ulit.
"Ynneu.
Please.."
"Sorry po.."
iyak ko.
And..
they hug me.
"Ynneu.."
"Hey.
We know..
you're not okay."
"Kami..
ang dapat mag-sorry.
Sorry..
if you thought..
we left you."
"Sorry..
if you thought..
we're not there..
for you."
Umiiyak lang ako.
"Pero Ynneu..
Mga Ate mo kami.
Mga kapatid mo kami.
We're family.
Dapat nagsabi ka sa amin..
ng totoo."
"We really want..
to help you..
that time..
pero ikaw..
ang lumayo..
sa amin."
"I just..
don't want..
to bother..
you..
especially..
all of you po.
I know..
you’re all busy..
with your own lives."
sabi ko.
"Hindi naman..
ganun yun e.
Para saan pang..
naging..
mga Ate mo kami diba?"
"Hay Ynneu..
Pero..
kahit naman..
wala kami sa tabi mo..
we always..
pray for you."
"God..
is always here."
sabi ni Ate Dayana..
and she points..
her right hand..
to my heart.
"Pray.
Trust Him.
You have..
to be strong..
stronger."
"Ynneu.
Walang mali sayo.
Lahat tayo..
nagkakamali.
Ang mali..
ay ang manatili..
ka sa mali.
Dapat mong itama..
kung ano ang mali."
"Kaya we're always here..
to support you..
maybe..
not always physically..
but..
we're always here..
for you..
morally..
and spritually."
"Kaya..
wag mong iisipin..
na wala kang kasama..
na wala kang kakampi..
na walang nandyan..
para sayo."
"Maybe sometimes..
we all need time..
to be alone..
pero..
you don't need..
to be alone..
always.
You need help..
from others Ynneu."
"You're..
building walls..
instead..
of building bridges."
"And we're here..
to destroy..
that walls..
that you made."
"We're just here..
for you..
always.
Always remember..
maraming nagmamahal sayo."
"We love you so much."
"Try to be open..
open your heart..
and you will see..
the beauty..
of the hidden love..
inside you."
"Don't abandon yourself.
Don't pretend and hide.
Let others reach you."
"You just need time..
faith..
and love..
more time..
more faith..
and..
more love..
to fix..
and heal yourself."
"Magiging okay ka din.
Magiging maayos din..
ang lahat."
Lalo akong naiyak.
Dang.
"Stop crying..
our little Ynneu."
"Opo. Opo..
Thank you po."
sabi ko.
They hug me again.
Long hug.
"Sige..
magpahinga ka na..
muna ulit."
"Please..
stop crying.
Hindi yan bagay..
sa ganda mo."
And..
I smile.
"Aalis na kami.
We love you Ynneu."
And they kiss me.
At umalis na sila.
They know..
everything..
about..
what happened..
sa amin..
ni Aiyaz.
And..
they warned me..
before.
They stopped me.
Masasaktan lang daw ako.
Masasaktan lang daw kami.
They were against..
about my..
deeper relationship..
with Aiyaz.
But I disobeyed them.
I didn't follow..
their advices.
And it happened..
that..
they were right..
since the beginning.
Tama sila..
at mali ako..
mali kami.
Kung..
sinunod ko lang..
sana sila..
hindi sana..
ako masasaktan..
ng ganito..
ng sobra.
Pero..
wala na..
akong magagawa.
Consequences.
I have to take..
the consequences..
of my wrong doing.
This pain..
sadness..
anger..
and..
fear.
This..
are the consequences..
that..
I have to suffer..
I have to face..
I have to conquer..
I have to fight..
and..
I have to survive.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 8: PAG-ALALA (PART 3)
MULING PAG-ALALA
YNNEU'S POV
Silence.
Darkness.
I open my eyes.
"Hey."
It's Ali.
She's wearing..
red V-shirt..
and shorts.
I get up.
I check my phone.
It's already..
7:30 p.m.
"How are you?"
tanong nya.
Ang sakit ng ulo ko.
"I'm fine."
sabi ko.
"Hindi ko na tatanungin..
kung anong nangyari.
I know everything."
"Okay."
Ayoko na ring pag-usapan.
"Let's eat.
Hinintay talaga kita..
para sabay tayo."
"Thanks."
Gutom na rin nga ako.
Nakita ko ang pagkain..
sa table nya.
I stand up from her bed.
Tinabihan ko sya.
At nagsimula na kaming kumain.
"Everyone's..
at the seaside."
sabi nya.
"Why?"
"Bonfire."
"Nice."
"Let's go."
"Can I just stay here?"
tanong ko.
"Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala."
sabi ni Ali..
with her killer stare.
Woah.
Full name.
She's angry.
If she says..
my full name..
and..
if she..
suddenly speaks..
in English.
At natapos na kaming kumain.
"Okay. Okay.
I'll just fix myself."
"I'll wait for you outside."
I get up.
I go to the C.R.
I wash my face.
And..
I borrow shirt..
from Ali's closet.
A black shirt..
with a Bible verse..
"Matthew 7:7
Ask, and it will be given to you.
Seek, and you will find.
Knock, and the door will be opened to you."
Before I left..
Ali's room..
iniwan ko..
sa reading table nya..
ang small gift..
ko sa kanya.
At lumabas na rin ako.
We go to the seaside.
Dang.
Ang dami ko nang..
breakdown memories..
sa seaside.
Nakita ko na ang bonfire.
Nakapalibot sila.
Kokonti na ang tao.
Just us..
the close friends..
of Ali.
Ate Shayana.
Ate Dayana.
Riyana.
Sam.
Aiyaz.
Kuya Patch.
Ate Ely.
Kuya Kneaxi.
Shaouneile.
Eroseann.
Ali.
and..
me.
THE KILL FAM.
K-ristiyanong
I-n
L-augh
and..
L-ove.
This is the family..
that we had..
as we all go..
to the same church.
It started..
because..
of the Youth Festival..
of our church..
that we all attended.
All of us..
we're in the same group.
For..
we all believe..
that God..
made us..
all meet..
and..
He created KILL family.
We became..
real close..
since then..
and..
we even..
made an oath..
that we will..
not forget..
about each other..
we will be..
best of friends..
we will be..
good siblings..
to each other..
and..
we have to meet..
after all of us..
graduated in the university.
Despite of all..
the struggles..
conflicts..
misunderstandings..
and..
busy schedules..
we're still..
get back..
now here..
altogether.
"This bring back memories."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Hey!" sabi ni Ali.
"Oh you're here!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Let's start now."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
Hmm.
Ano na naman..
kaya ang gagawin namin?
"For you know guys..
This isn't just..
the birthday of Deni.
It's our reunion.
We made it this day!
All of us..
we keep our oath!
Thank you guys!
We're the KILL FAM!
Kahit ano man..
ang mga nangyari..
o..
nangyayari..
sa iba sa atin..
o..
mangyayari..
sa atin..
we're still a family.
And we’ll always be..
a family.
We'll always be..
the KILL FAM.
Dahil mga busy..
na rin tayo..
sa mga..
sari-sarili nating buhay..
hindi na tayo..
ganun nagkakasama.
And today..
is the day..
to remember..
reunite..
and reflect."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
Si Ate Shayana talaga..
ang pinaka-Ate..
naming lahat.
Kapag busy sya..
si Ate Dayana..
ang pumapalit sa kanya.
"So..
we're here..
to inform you..
for tomorrow's event.
FEBRUARY 29.
Do you still remember that day?"
"It's the exact day..
that we met..
at the Youth Festival."
"That's right.
So..
tomorrow will be..
our Family Day."
"We will be having..
outreach program..
to the orphanage..
near our place..
which was also..
supported by our church."
"It will be our way..
of giving..
and..
thanking back..
for all..
our blessings..
from God."
"Nice!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Exciting!"
sabi ni Eroseann.
"So are all in?"
tanong ni Ate Shayana.
"Yes!!!"
sigaw nila.
Interesting.
"So..
we will be..
divided..
in two groups."
"For group 1..
Ate Shayana..
will lead you..
Aiyaz.
Renzo.
Shaouneile.
Eroseann.
and..
Deniel."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"And for group 2..
Ate Dayana..
will be your leader..
Riyana.
Crishaunt.
Ate Ely.
Kuya Kneaxi.
Ynneu."
"So for now..
we..
the leaders..
will tell..
to our members..
all the important details..
of the program..
let's prepare..
this evening..
and..
let's just meet..
tomorrow morning."
"KILL FAM! Group hug!"
"Yeah!!! I love you guys!"
sabi nila.
Nagyakapan kami isa-isa.
Pero syempre..
hindi kami ni Aiyaz.
Our eyes meet..
but..
we look away..
immediately.
And..
I just..
walk away.
Ali come to me.
"Sayang..
di tayo magkasama."
"Okay lang."
"See you tomorrow!"
"Take care."
"God bless!"
"I love you."
sabi ko.
"Yiee. I love you too!"
And..
she hugs and kisses me..
on my right cheek.
At naghiwa-hiwalay na kami.
Ate Shayana's group..
go back..
to Ali's house.
Dun daw sila..
mag-memeeting..
at mag-peprepare.
Kami naman..
nina Ate Dayana..
nanatili kami..
dito sa seaside.
"So guys..
we need..
to prepare..
fun games..
lunch and snacks..
song and dance..
for the staff and workers..
of the orphanage."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Let's just..
split up."
sabi ni Riyana.
"Partners."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Good idea.
Okay.
Since Eleyn..
is good in cooking..
you will prepare lunch..
Hmm.
Kneaxi will help you..
buy ingredients..
and for the snacks."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Okay!"
sigaw ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Me and Riyana..
we'll be in charge..
of the games."
"And..
you Crishaunt..
and Ynneu..
will prepare a song..
and dance."
"Crishaunt will dance too?"
natatawang tanong ni Riyana.
"Heh!
I'll just play..
my keyboard..
for Ynneu."
So..
I will sing..
and dance.
"What about the dance?"
"Kneaxi..
and Eleyn can do it."
sabi ni Sam.
"No.
They'll prepare..
for lunch and snacks.
They have no time..
to practice."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"But..
I'm sure..
they have..
pieces of dance..
together already."
"Yes Sam!
Pero..
kaya nyo na yan..
ni Ynneu!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
Wew.
But Sam..
is not..
a dancer.
"Sige guys.
Aalis na kami.
We'll buy..
snacks..
and ingredients."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"I'll cook..
at home."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Sige. Sige.
Take care."
sabi nina Ate Dayana.
"Hey Crishaunt.
Take care of Ynneu."
pahabol ni Ate Ely.
"I will."
sabi nya.
At umalis na sila.
Iniwan talaga nila ako?
Dang.
"Hey Crishaunt.
Just do it."
biglang sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"You're kidding me Dayana!"
natatawang sabi ni Sam.
"I'm serious..
Crishaunt.
Dance with Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Pero.."
"Ynneu is..
a good dancer too.
Hey Ynneu..
make Crishaunt dance..
like what you did before!"
sabi ni Riyana..
and she winks at me.
Dang.
May naalala tuloy ako.
"Do you want me..
to feel embarass?"
tanong ni Sam.
"Mas okay na..
ikaw Crishaunt..
kaysa kami ni Riyana!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
At nagtawanan..
silang dalawa ni Riyana.
"Yah! For all I know..
pare-parehas tayong..
mga kaliwa ang paa."
sabi naman ni Sam.
"But..
we're just saying..
everyone can dance..
mas magagaling..
nga lang yung iba.
Dance for fun..
na lang Crishaunt.
For sure..
marami ang matutuwa..
sa sayaw mo."
sabi ni Riyana.
Nagtawanan ulit sila.
"No."
sabi ni Sam.
I can say that..
Sam..
is getting..
annoyed.
No.
He's mad.
"Aalis na rin kami..
ni Riyana.
We'll plan..
for the games.
Sa bahay..
na lang din kami."
"Pilitin mo..
nga yan Ynneu!"
sigaw ni Ate Dayana.
"Tara na rin Ynneu.
Let's practice..
for the song."
He hold my left hand.
Hinila nya ako.
He's really annoyed.
"Hey Crishaunt!
Take care of Ynneu!"
pahabol na sigaw..
ni Ate Dayana.
Pero..
hindi na..
nagsalita si Sam.
Hila-hila nya pa rin ako.
Nakita ko..
si Kuya Patch..
he's on his phone.
And..
he also..
sees us.
I also see..
Ate Shayana..
Ali..
and..
Aiyaz.
They see us together..
holding hands.
Dang.
Ang higpit ng kapit nya..
sa kamay ko.
Is he..
really..
that mad?
At..
nakarating na kami..
sa parking nina Ali.
Nakita nya na rin..
siguro..
sina Ate Shayana.
Then..
he let go..
of my hand.
"I'm sorry."
sabi nya sa akin..
na medyo nahihiya.
Nilapitan nila kami.
"Hey."
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"Hey Ynneu.."
sabi ni Ali.
"May problema ba Ynneu?"
tanong ni Ate Shayana.
"Wala po.
We're going."
sabi ko.
"We'll practice po..
for our performance."
sabi ni Sam.
"Aa. Kami rin.
Dito na kayo magpractice!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Let's practice..
with our band."
sabi ni Aiyaz.
Dang.
Is he serious?
"Aa. Ano kasi.."
sabi ni Sam.
"We're planning..
for..
something..
different."
biglang sabi ko.
"Aa. Sige.
Siguro..
may pasabog..
sila bukas!
Para exciting..
hayaan na natin sila."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
And..
she winks at me.
"Hehe.
Opo ganun nga.
Sige po..
alis na kami."
sabi ni Sam.
"Sige Ynneu..
Ingat kayo ha."
sabi ni Ali..
at niyakap nila ako..
ni Ate Shayana.
"Where..
will you practice?"
tanong ni Aiyaz.
"At my cafe."
Cafe?
May cafe..
na pala sya.
"Sige po."
sabi ko.
"Hey Crishaunt.
Take care of Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"I will po."
"Take care of her."
sabi naman ni Aiyaz.
And then..
Sam starts his car.
Aiyaz..
opens the door..
for me.
Dang.
Why did he do that?
And..
I get on.
Alam ko..
nakatingin sya..
sa akin.
But..
I don't look at him.
Dang.
Dang.
Dang.
Natulala ako.
"Ynneu."
Suddenly..
Sam..
put..
the seatbelt..
on me.
Dang.
He's so close.
"Tulala ka."
"Oh. Thanks."
"You can sleep."
"No. I'm fine."
"Where..
do you want to go?"
"I thought..
we're going..
at your cafe."
"Aa.
Yeah.
Haha."
natatawa nyang sabi.
"Why?"
I ask him.
"Huh?
Why?"
nagtataka nyang tanong.
"Did I say..
something funny?"
"Aa. No!
I just..
remembered..
something."
"Okay."
"Remember when..
we're still together..
I always..
ask you."
"Ask me?"
"Yeah.
That question.
'Where do you want to go?'"
"And?"
"And..
you always have..
the same answer."
"Hmm.."
Same answer?
Hindi ko maalala.
"Nakalimutan mo na..
siguro."
"Yeah."
I forgot.
"We're here."
Oh.
So..
this..
is..
his..
cafe.
KAHIT SAAN.
Now I remembered.
Lagi kong..
sinasagot sa kanya.
Kahit saan.
So..
this is why..
it is named..
KAHIT SAAN?
"Do you..
remember it now?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go inside."
At pumasok na kami sa loob.
Wonderful lights.
Refreshing ambience.
Conducive environment.
Cold.
"Good evening Sir!"
bati ng mga crew sa kanya.
"Good evening."
"One plain coffee..
and..
one milk..
with marshmallows..
upstairs."
"No.
One plain coffee too."
sabi ko.
He stares at me.
Nagtataka siguro sya.
"Oh?
Okay.
Two plain coffee."
sabi nya sa isang crew.
"Let's go upstairs."
sabi nya sa akin.
Sinundan ko sya.
24 hours open sila.
Kokonti na ang tao.
It's already 10 p.m.
He opens the door.
"This is my music room."
Pumasok kami.
It's colder.
I like it..
pero nilalamig ako.
I don't have my jacket.
"Nice."
sabi ko.
"Thanks."
"Do you..
have a jacket?"
tanong ko.
"Oh.
Sorry..
Malamig ba?"
"No.
It's fine.
Maybe..
I just need..
a jacket."
"Sige.
Kukuha lang ako."
He goes outside..
and..
get some things..
in the next room.
"Here."
He gives me..
a green..
hoodie jacket..
and..
a color cyan..
blanket.
"Thanks."
I see his keyboard..
also his piano..
and other instruments..
guitars..
drums.
There are also..
a big speaker..
microphone..
karaoke.
Little sofa.
Our pictures..
with the band.
FRONTLINERS BAND.
Small Table.
Desktop.
Song books.
Papers.
Ballpens.
And..
also..
transparent windows.
I see..
the sunflower garden.
Woah.
It's beautiful.
The lights..
make it..
more beautiful.
"Nice garden."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah."
"You're my..
inspiration.
I made it..
really..
for you.
This..
whole cafe..
actually."
"Why for me?"
"Memories..
sunflower..
your fave."
"Aa. Yeah."
Memories.
Of course.
He was..
my first love.
"This place..
reminds me..
a lot of you."
sabi nya.
"But..
you don't really..
have to do this."
"You are..
my first love..
Ynneu."
Dang.
Memories.
No more reminisce..
please?
"Aaah.
Let's start."
bigla kong sabi.
"Oh. Yeah.
Sorry."
sabi nya.
I get the guitar.
I play it.
"What song..
do you want..
to perform?"
"Anything."
sabi ko.
"Haha.
You choose."
Tumawa na naman sya.
What's so funny?
"Do you know what..
we have..
different kinds..
of KAHIT ANO..
here..
in our menu?"
"Kahit ano?"
"Yeah.
Just like..
what you said.
Just like..
what you..
always say."
"Aaah.
Anything.
Kahit ano."
"Bakit nga ba..
laging ganun..
ang sagot mo..
sa akin?"
Hmmm.
..Kahit saan..
basta kasama kita.
..Kahit ano..
basta magkasama tayo..
Dang.
Corny.
Naalala ko lang din.
That's his..
fave line..
from me.
Dang.
Lahat ba..
naaalala nya pa?
Do we really..
have to remember..
things happened before..
just like that?
"Sam."
sabi ko.
"Oh.
I miss..
that name."
Ako lang ang tumatawag sa kanya nun.
Dang.
Ynneu.
Bakit mo nasabi yun?
"Sorry."
"Why sorry?"
"I mean..
Crishaunt."
"No.
I'm not Crishaunt."
Heh.
"Find a piece..
so..
we can practice..
it now."
bigla kong sabi.
Madalas kaming magpunta..
ni Ali dun sa orphanage.
I'm trying to recall the songs..
na napakinggan ko dun.
"Hmm. Okay.
If we will perform..
for the staff and workers..
let's have..
old songs."
sabi nya.
"Okay."
I strum the guitar again.
I hum the song..
UNWELL by MATCHBOX
Hmmm.
Hmmm.
Tapos..
biglang nagsalita..
si Sam.
"Ynneu.."
"Hmm?"
"I heard everything."
"Hmm?"
"You and Aiyaz."
"Hmm.
What do you mean?"
Anong sinasabi nya?
"I'm with..
Shayana..
Dayana..
and Riyana."
Dang.
So..
he was there too.
Oo nga pala.
Magkakasama sila nun.
He left..
for a phone call.
Hindi na rin naman..
sya bumalik.
Hindi ko na rin naalala.
"Aaa. Okay."
"I'm sorry."
"Crishaunt..
Can we please.."
"I'm really..
sorry."
Why is he..
saying sorry?
"Let's just..
forget..
about that."
"No. Ynneu..
I want..
to say something.
Actually..
there are..
more things..
that I want..
to say to you.
Dati pa kita..
gustong makausap.
Kaso..
I didn't have..
the chance.
Kaya naman..
pakinggan mo lang ako.
Please."
Dang.
Dati pa pala..
but..
he didn't..
make any move.
Ynneu.
Ano na naman ba ito?
Aigoo.
"Go ahead."
sabi ko.
Para matapos na rin.
"Ynneu..
You are my first love.
Believe me.
I love you.
But..
I was..
really hurt..
when you..
confessed..
everything..
about you..
and Aiyaz.
I know..
you've been..
so close..
and..
the fact that..
there's..
something..
going on..
to the both..
of you.
But..
I..
blinded..
myself.
And somehow..
I..
predicted..
it."
Dang.
"You..
predicted it..
pero..
wala..
kang..
ginawa."
"No!
That time..
I was..
fighting..
for you.
I put..
more efforts..
I always..
make time..
for you.
I..
push..
myself..
harder."
"No.
Bakit..
hindi ko..
naramdaman?"
"Because..
you're..
already..
into..
Aiyaz."
"No.
Not really.
I was..
so confused..
that time.
That's why..
I confessed..
everything..
to you.
I said..
I need time..
to walk away..
to think..
find myself..
fix myself..
and..
my confused thoughts..
of my mind..
my heart..
and..
my soul."
"Yeah.
And..
it hurts..
so deep."
"I know.
That's why..
I ask you..
if I can..
still..
come back..
to you..
I ask..
if you can..
forgive me..
I ask..
if you can..
give me..
one last chance."
"But..
I..
can't..
that time.
It was..
really..
painful.
You..
hurt me..
so bad."
"I know.
But..
do you know that..
at that time..
I'm...
in pain too?
I can’t think well.
My mind..
was a mess.
My heart..
is slowly breaking too.
I always cry.
I was..
too confused.
I..
love you..
but..
I..
also love him."
"You..
love me..
but..
you was..
never..
in love..
with me."
"As I said..
I was..
too confused..
that time..
I didn't..
really know..
if I'm in love..
with you..
or..
with him."
"That's why..
you chose..
to walk away..
from me.
You chose..
to let me go."
"I don't exactly..
let you..
go.
As I said..
I just..
need time.
I ask you..
many times..
for that..
one..
last..
chance.
That's all..
I'm asking..
but..
you never..
listen to me..
you never..
give me that..
one last chance."
"Yeah.
I can't..
give you..
chance.
Because..
it hurts..
too much.
Because..
you chose..
to hurt me."
"I never..
chose..
to hurt..
someone.
I didn't..
chose..
to hurt you.
I just have..
to tell you..
the truth.
I'm just..
being real.
I know..
you're hurt..
that's why..
I am..
sincerely sorry..
but..
I was..
hurt too.
You just..
think..
of yourself..
of your own pain."
"I know..
you're hurt..
ayokong..
nakikita kang..
nasasaktan..
mas okay na ako..
ang nasasaktan..
wag ka lang..
That's why..
I..
totally..
surrender.
Your own happiness..
is paramount..
to me.
That's why..
I chose..
to make you..
happy..
with him."
"Yeah.
You're a coward..
and so selfless.
Hinayaan mo lang ako..
sa kanya..
kaysa sayo.."
"Kasi alam ko..
na mas masaya ka..
sa kanya."
"Alam mo..
buti ka pa..
alam mo..
bakit..
bakit ako..
hindi ko alam?"
"Ramdam ko Ynneu."
"Bakit..
hindi ko..
naramdaman?
I was too confused..
to know..
and feel it."
"Alam ko..
alam mo..
sa sarili mo.
Alam ko..
ramdam mo."
"No.
You don't..
have the right..
to say to me..
how I really feel.
Wala kang alam..
sa totoo kong nararamdaman."
"I'm sorry.
You're right.
But you chose..
to leave me..
instead of him..
right?
Iniwan mo ako..
dahil at para sa kanya."
"I left you..
but..
I let him go..
too.
I made a choice.
And..
I chose..
to let go..
of myself..
from the both of you."
paliwanag ko.
Nabigla sya.
All this time..
yun pala ang alam nya.
"Akala ko.."
"Changes.. Sam.
You became busy.
Hindi na kita maramdaman.
Wasted times..
Wasted opportunities..
Wasted us.
Most of the time..
you..
were not there..
but..
he was there..
for me.
He fulfilled..
your shortcomings.
That time..
alam kong mali..
me and Aiyaz..
kung ano man..
ang naramdaman namin..
that's why..
I thought..
of choosing you..
instead of him.
That's why..
I need myself time..
I need to fix myself.
I need to be okay..
for myself..
and..
for you.
You were..
my first love..
Sam.
Swear.
You have the key.
I gave you that.
That key..
was so important..
to me.
I promise myself..
that I will give..
that key..
to the right man..
who will give me..
the right love.
Ikaw yun Sam.
I already chose you.
The key chose you.
The first time..
we meet..
until that moment..
when I gave that to you.
I loved you.
I wanted to be..
the right woman..
for you.
I was thinking of you.
I needed you Sam.
Gusto ko..
bigyan mo ako ng time..
Gusto ko..
bigyan mo ako..
ng one last chance..
Gusto ko ligawan mo ako.
Gusto ko ipaglaban mo ako.
Pero..
hindi..
siguro..
mali ako.
Hindi..
oo..
mali ako."
"Ynneu.."
"Hinayaan mo ako.
Iniwan mo ako.
And..
you chose..
to go on..
without me.
You chose..
to be with..
another girl.
you suddenly..
fell in love..
with another girl.
Knowing that thing..
it..
breaks my heart.
Really..
Questions.
Bakit ang dali?
Bakit ang bilis naman?
Bakit agad-agad?
Gusto mo..
na ba talaga..
agad maka-move on?
Gusto mo..
na talaga..
ako agad kalimutan?
Are you..
that desperate?
I know..
what I did..
to you..
hurts so deep.
But..
I was hurt too.
Nasaktan kita.
Sino ba naman..
ang matutuwa..
na makasakit ng iba?
Pero..
nasaktan mo rin ako.
Pero..
okay lang.
It's your choice.
You made..
that choice.
And..
I made my choice."
"Ang tanga ko."
"Can we just..
stop this?"
"Ynneu..
Sorry.
I just want to say..
I'm just here..
for you."
"No.
You don't have to."
"Please..
give me..
another..
chance..
one..
last..
chance."
"Chance?"
"I still love you."
Dang.
Is he serious?
Bakit natatawa ako?
So funny.
"Is your new girl..
know..
about this?"
"We didn't really..
worked out."
Dang.
"Crishaunt.
Let's just..
stop this."
"I know..
you're not okay.
I know..
you're not ready.
but..
please..
I'm here.
I will wait..
until you’re healed.”
Wait?
Maghihintay na naman sya.
Hindi naman nya nagawa dati.
Wala akong maramdaman.
Manhid na yata ako.
Ayoko na.
Ayoko nang magsalita.
I have to change..
the topic.
At bigla kong naalala.
"I'll sing WESTLIFE songs."
sabi ko.
"Ynneu."
"Please.."
I look at him.
He smiles.
He understands.
"Hmm. Okay.
I'll search for their songs."
"QUEEN OF MY HEART."
"It has good lyrics..
but isn't it ballad?"
"Yeah.
I remembered..
that's one..
of the songs..
I heard..
when we were there."
"You already..
went there?"
"Yeah.
With Ali..
we used..
to donate..
books there."
"Nice.
But..
that..
would be..
a little..
boring?"
"Hmm.
Not really..
I have an idea."
"Okay?"
"Most..
of the workers there..
are aged-women.
Let's dedicate..
the song..
to them.
I know..
they know the song..
and they will..
sing along with me.
And then..
in chorus part..
let's make the orphans..
give flowers..
to the workers."
"Nice idea!"
"Okay.
Let's practice."
"Okay!"
sigaw nya.
And..
we start..
to practice.
Sam starts to learn..
the melody of song..
in his keyboard.
I also study..
the chords..
and the lyrics..
of the song.
We also pick and learn..
two more songs.
He also volunteers..
to sing with me.
Well..
he can sing.
He's good.
But he's really..
so into..
more..
on playing..
his keyboard.
He's really excellent.
And..
for I know..
he is also..
into..
composing songs.
Actually..
kaming dalawa.
We used..
to make songs..
together..
before.
And as part..
of the Password..
Publication..
Sam who once..
became the EIC..
in his year..
and..
I also..
became the Literary Editor..
in my year..
we made pieces..
verses..
poems..
music..
melodies..
which..
then..
turned..
to songs.
We also used..
to make songs..
for our band before.
And..
about the dance..
nagdesisyon kaming haranahin..
na lang sila..
with a slow dance..
old song..
and then..
we will ask the workers..
to dance with the us.
It will be..
like a prom dance.
That is also my idea..
for I know..
that's the only dance..
he can..
and..
for I know..
he really..
doesn't want to dance..
at all.
I am speaking..
when I see..
him..
sleeping already.
Tinulugan nya na ako.
I put..
the cyan blanket..
that he gave me..
in his back.
At..
tinapos ko lang aralin..
yung ibang songs..
na kakantahin namin..
and..
I sleep too.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 9: PAG-ALALA (PART 4)
MULING PAG-ALALA
YNNEU'S POV
We're all here now..
in the orphanage.
Everything..
is all set.
Just like before..
Ali and I..
donated books..
for the children.
We play games.
We sing.
We dance.
Everything..
happens..
fast.
Naging maayos..
ang daloy ng program namin.
Through this program..
we remember..
reunite..
and..
reflect.
Inaamin ko..
masaya.
Naging masaya ako..
yung ibang saya..
yung totoong saya.
Namiss kong maging masaya..
ngumiti..
at..
tumawa.
At..
gumabi na rin.
We left..
the orphanage.
We're here now..
at Sam's cafe.
It's close for today.
It's been reserved..
for us.
And..
we have..
our dinner here.
I'm glad..
to be with others.
I'm happy..
to be with them.
We're here to celebrate.
"Congrats to us!
KILL FAM!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Yeah!!!"
sigaw nila.
We're all happy.
I can feel it.
"Hey."
nangingiting sabi ni Ali.
"Hmm?"
tanong ko.
"Thanks for the ring!
I love you!"
And she kisses me.
Yeah.
The small gift..
that I gave her..
was a ring.
Marami na rin..
akong naibigay sa kanya.
Ali is very fond..
of rings.
Not only books..
but also..
she collects..
different kinds..
of rings.
"Belated Happy Birthday."
I wink at her..
and I smile.
"Hey. Ynneu.."
"Hmm?"
"I'm happy..
to see you..
smile like that."
sabi nya.
"I'm happy."
I smile again.
"Good for you."
And..
she winks at me.
At biglang..
sumigaw si Ate Shayana.
"So are you all ready?!"
"Ready?"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"For what?"
tanong ni Aiyaz.
"We'll play a game."
"Game!!!"
sigaw nila.
Itinaas ni Ate Shayana..
ang isang bottle..
na may laman..
na mga papel.
"Truth and Dare!"
sabi nya.
"Bakit po 'and'?"
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Hindi ba 'Truth or Dare'?"
tanong ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"My version.
It's Truth and Dare.
You have..
to say the truth..
and..
you have..
to do the dare."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Woah. Cool."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Exciting!"
sabi ni Riyana.
"Sounds fun!"
sigaw ni Eroseann.
"So..
this bottle..
has questions inside..
if the bottle..
points to you..
you have..
to pick..
one question here..
and..
you have..
to answer the truth..
and..
for the person..
who points back..
by the bottle..
will be responsible..
to give the dare.
But..
it's not just..
a simple dare..
you have..
to give the strangest dare!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Oooh!"
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"So..
it's better..
to think now..
of the possible..
strangest dares!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Oh. Okay."
sabi ni Sam.
"Hmm. Feels hard."
sabi ni Ali.
"Kk."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Saan..
galing ang mga tanong?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Secret!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
At nagtawanan kami.
Nagkatinginan kami..
ni Kuya Patch.
He smiles at me.
I smile too.
At..
bumilog na kami..
ng nakaupo.
Katabi ko..
si Ali at Ate Ely.
Nagsimula na kaming maglaro.
Ate Shayana..
spins the bottle.
At natapat ito kay..
Ali..
at Eroseann.
"Argh! First luck."
sigaw ni Ali.
Ali picks a question..
"What are..
your unforgettable moments..
with the KILL FAM?
Give three."
"Wow.
Ang lakas naman pong..
maka-essay ng question Ate.
For how many points..
po ba ito?"
biro ni Ali.
At nagtawanan kami.
"For three points!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Basketball.
3-pointer!"
sigaw ni Kuya Patch.
"1 point each."
sabi ni Aiyaz.
At nagtawanan ulit kami.
"So..
what's your answer?"
tanong ni Ate Dayana.
"Sige po.
Hmm.
First..
when we all met..
in the Youth Festival.
Second.."
"Why?" sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Ay.
May follow-up question po?"
tanong ni Ali.
"Yep.
I want more explanation!"
natatawang sabi ni Ate Dayana.
At nagtawanan sila.
"Hmm.
I'm really grateful..
for that day..
as on only child..
of my parents..
every day..
I always wish..
for a sibling..
and..
that day..
my wish came true..
because..
I had..
all of you..
the best..
sisters and brothers..
I ever have."
"Sweet girl."
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"So sweet!"
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Touching!"
sabi ni Riyana.
"We're also grateful..
to have a little sister..
like you Ali."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"All thanks to God..
because He unites us!"
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Amen!!!"
sigaw nila.
"So second..
yesterday..
my birthday!
You made me so happy..
because you all came..
and we celebrate together!
And for three points!
For this day..
I have so much fun..
and..
I'm looking forward..
for more memories..
with you all!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Shoot.
Nice shot!"
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Yiee.
Sweet mo talaga Deni."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Very well said."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"I have..
so much fun too!"
sigaw ni Eroseann.
"Yes..
for more memories!"
sigaw ni Sam.
"Yeeees!!!"
sigaw nila.
"Thank you Ali..
for that heart-warming..
and so touching..
answer!
Let's clap for her!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
Nagpalakpakan kami.
"Time to dare!"
sigaw ni Aiyaz.
"Oh yeah.
Erose!"
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Okay.
Hmm..
Ali..
I dare you..
to..
drink..
my new experiment..
Sproke!"
"Wait..
What?!
New experiment?"
tanong ni Ali.
"Oh yeah!"
sigaw ni Aiyaz.
"Sproke?"
nagtatakang tanong..
din ni Sam.
"What the hell is that?!"
tanong ni Ali.
Hmm.
What would it be?
I'm curious.
At..
inilabas ni Eroseann..
ang isang bottle..
of sprite..
and coke.
At pinaghalo nya ito..
sa isang baso.
Mahilig talaga..
si Eroseann..
sa mga weird na bagay.
Nerdy girl.
Marami syang experiments..
sa pagkain..
at..
sa kung ano-anong bagay.
Minsan..
okay..
madalas..
hindi.
I'm the only person..
who cheers her up..
who appreciates..
her experiments..
and..
who supports her.
I really do have..
tons of curiosity..
in my mind.
I have so many questions..
with unknown answers.
And..
somehow..
her experiments..
give me chills..
and odd answers.
I'm amaze.
We are all amaze.
At nagtawanan din kami.
"Woaaaahooo!"
sabi ni Aiyaz.
"Strange!"
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Oh. How weird!"
sabi ni Riyana.
"Are you..
serious Eroseann?"
tanong ni Ali.
"Yes of course..
Deni!
You're the..
first victim..
of this new experiment..
of mine.
Wahahaha."
tawa ni Eroseann.
"No!"
sigaw ni Ali.
"Just taste it.
Just one sip.
It's my strangest dare..
for you!"
sabi ni Eroseann.
"You're kidding!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Deni! Deni! Deni!"
sigaw nila.
"Drink it now..
Ali."
bulong ko sa kanya.
I smile.
And..
she gives me..
a weird smile.
"Pwedeng..
call a friend?"
tanong ni Ali.
"No. Deni girl!"
sigaw ni Ate Dayana.
"Deni! Masarap 'to!"
natatawang sabi..
ni Eroseann.
Ibinigay niya..
ang baso kay Ali.
And..
she let me..
smell it.
"Creep."
sabi ko.
"What?"
sabi nya.
"Just drink it."
sabi ko.
"Deni! Deni! Deni!"
sigaw nila.
And then..
Ali drinks it.
"Yeheeeeey!"
sigaw nila.
"Phew."
sabi ni Ali.
"How does it taste?"
tanong ni Eroseann.
"It taste..
pretty..
bad."
sabi ni Ali.
At nagtawanan sila.
Kinuha ko ang baso.
I drink it too.
I drink it all.
Hindi naman..
sila nagulat..
for I am always fond..
of her experiments.
"What do you..
think Ynneu?"
tanong ni Eroseann.
"Hmm.
Bittersweet."
sabi ko.
"Yes!"
sabi ni Eroseann.
At nagtawanan sila.
"So much for that..
let's continue..
the game."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
She spins..
the bottle again.
It point to..
me..
and..
Kuya Patch.
"Ynneu's time!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Yeah!"
sabi ni Riyana.
I pick..
a paper..
in the bottle.
It says..
"What are your dreams..
or future plans?
Give three."
Dreams.
Future plans.
"Hmm.
At first..
I don't really..
know how to dream.
I don't..
actually dream.
and..
I don't really have..
dreams before.
but..
the moment..
I get..
the chance to dream..
about something..
I got disappointed..
I was ignored.
I was rejected.
I get hurt.
The dream..
that I dream..
was just a dream.
It remains..
to be..
just a dream.
That’s why I let myself..
go with the flow.
I never dream anymore..
just to avoid..
getting disappointed again.
I never expect..
so I don’t get hurt.
I believe..
that what’s meant..
for you will happen. "
sabi ko.
And..
I smile.
"Continue..
Ynneu."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
Ang tahimik naman..
nila.
Lahat sila..
nakatingin sa akin.
So..
I continue..
what I'm saying.
"So, my first dream..
to be a nun.
I don't really know why..
it just came to me.
I thought..
that will fit me..
my personality..
myself..
the whole me.
And..
when I said that..
to my family..
they said..
no.
Rejected."
Ate Ely looks..
sad.
They all look..
very sad.
And..
I continue..
my answer.
"So..
I dream..
of another dream.
I dreamed..
to be an artist.
I'm really..
very fond of music.
I had..
that hidden talent.
I can sing.
I can dance.
I can act.
I can draw.
I can paint.
And I know..
I'm good at it.
Before..
that's all..
I want to do.
But I was..
so shy doing it.
I was bullied.
I got scared of what others..
will say.
That's why..
I decided..
to forget..
about it.
Maybe..
it's not really..
for me.
But there's someone..
who changed me.
That person..
made me believe..
that I can do it.
And..
that's when..
I have..
the confidence..
to do..
what I want to do..
without thinking..
about others.
So..
I joined..
Arts League..
and..
Cultural Performing Group.
Who have thought..
that I also..
have been part..
of the Student Council..
and the Publication?"
sabi ko.
"Who's that someone?"
tanong ni Eroseann.
Dang.
"Name drop!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Hey."
pagpipigil ni Ate Ely.
"Please continue..
Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"So..
yeah..
I also joined..
the Publication..
that's why..
I also dreamed..
of becoming a writer..
an author of a book.
I discovered..
that I can also..
write.
And..
I'm also fond..
of reading books.
So..
for my future plans..
well..
I'm a teacher now..
I'm going..
to teach..
next school year..
it's not really..
my dream..
it's my parents dream.
I'm happy..
that I made them happy.
But..
I do hope..
I can still do..
what I want to do..
back then."
sabi ko.
I smile again.
"What a sad..
and nice story."
sabi ni Riyana.
"I know..
you can still do..
what you want Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Thank you po."
sabi ko.
"Thank you..
for sharing your story.
Let's clap for Ynneu!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
At nagpalakpakan sila.
"So for our dare!"
sigaw ni Shaouneile.
"Renzo."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Aa. For the dare..
I actually can't think..
of any strange dare."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Hey!
Kanina ko pa sinabi..
na mag-isip na kayo!"
sigaw ni Ate Shayana.
"Yan..
galit na si Shayana."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Haha. Hindi naman!"
natatawang sabi..
ni Ate Shayana.
"Hmm.
I dare..
you Ynneu..
to..
go..
out..
with..
me."
seryosong sabi..
ni Kuya Patch.
Ha?
What did he say?
Did I hear it right?
Dang.
I look at him.
He's looking..
at me too.
Aigoo.
"What?!"
gulat na tanong ni Riyana.
Lahat kami nagulat.
"Yeah.
I'm asking you out Ynneu."
sabi ulit ni Kuya Patch.
And..
he winks at me.
"Hey."
sabi ni Sam.
"What do you mean..
go out..
with you..
Kuya Renzo?"
tanong ni Ali.
Tumayo si Kuya Patch.
He approaches me.
And..
he offer..
his right hand..
to me.
Dang.
Ano bang ginagawa nya?
I don't get him.
I remain calm..
with a blank face.
"Let's go..
outside."
"Aaaah.
Haha..
sa labas lang pala."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"Five minutes with me."
sabi nya.
“Is that even strange?”
tanong ni Ali.
“Of course it’s strange.
Renzo..
wants to be alone..
with Ynneu.
Ayiee.”
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
“What else can happen..
in five minutes?”
tanong ni Eroseann.
“Are you serious Renzo?”
Tanong ni Ate Ely.
“Aa. Yeah.”
sabi niya.
"Hay.
Anything strange?
Renzo talaga.
Because it’s your dare..
sige na Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
Dang.
Okay.
I don't reach..
for his hand.
I stand up alone.
At..
dumiretso na ako..
sa labas.
Sinundan nya ako.
"Hey."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Hey?"
tanong ko.
"Wala kasi talaga..
akong maisip..
na dare para sayo."
"Aa."
"Sorry."
"No.
It's fine."
And then..
nilabas nya..
ang phone nya.
"Can we..
take..
a picture..
together?"
sabi nya.
"Why?"
tanong ko.
"Gusto ko lang."
"Okay."
We take..
one picture..
together.
Pero..
hindi pa sya tumigil..
he continues..
to take..
pictures of me.
Stolen shots.
"You still..
look pretty."
bulong nya..
habang tinitingnan..
ang pictures na kinuha nya.
"Let's go."
sabi ko.
"No.
We still have..
one minute."
I look at him.
"I..
have..
something..
to say."
"Hmm?"
"Can we..
meet..
again..
tomorrow?"
"Why?"
"Ynneu.
I really have..
so many things..
to tell you."
"About what?"
At biglang..
bumukas ang pinto.
"Time's up!"
sigaw ni Ali.
Kuya Patch..
didn't answer.
He looks..
disappointed.
At bumalik na kami..
sa loob.
Nagpatuloy ang game namin.
Masaya.
Magaan sa pakiramdam..
Kahit papaano..
nawala ang sakit..
na nararamdaman ko.
"One last spin guys!"
sigaw ni Ate Shayana.
"Okay!"
sigaw nila.
And..
the bottle points..
to me..
again.
"It's your lucky day..
Ynneu!"
sabi ni Ali.
I just smile.
Heh.
I pick the last paper..
in the bottle.
"What are your..
regrets in life?
Give three."
Hmm.
Seriously?
Regrets.
Tahimik na naman sila.
Everytime..
I will speak..
they will just..
stare at me.
Sabagay..
minsan nga lang naman..
ako magsalita.
Feels like..
my words..
are something..
magical..
and special.
Feels like..
they're really..
waiting..
for my answer.
I look at Ali.
She smiles.
"Hmm..
Regrets."
I'm still..
thinking.
"I..
believe that..
even if..
we have regrets..
or..
if we regret..
the things happened..
before..
nothing..
will change.
So..
I have no time..
for regrets.
Life goes on.
There's no going back.
But memories come back.
That's life.
So..
good or bad..
happy or sad..
I regret..
the memories.
I regret..
the promises.
I regret my regrets.
But..
I also believe..
that my regrets..
will change me..
as a person..
will make me..
a better person..
in the near future."
sabi ko.
I look at them.
Bakit sila tulala?
"Haha.
Okay na po yun!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Okay.
Sige.
Thank you Ynneu!"
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
"And for the dare.."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Okay. Ynneu..
I dare you..
to..
go out with me."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
Tapos binatukan sya..
ni Ate Dayana.
"Joke lang naman..
Dayana!
Ang seryoso kasi natin."
biro ni Kuya Patch.
Nagtawanan sila.
"So..
ano nga ang dare mo?"
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"I dare you Ynneu..
to sing..
your favorite song."
"Ang dali naman nun!"
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"That's not even..
strange!"
sabi ni Eroseann.
"Hep. Hep!
Meron pa kasi..
Sing..
your favorite song..
with marshmallows..
in your mouth."
"Aww."
sabi ni Riyana.
"That's hard."
sabi ni Sam.
"Kaya yun ni Ynneu!"
sabi ni Ali.
"Game."
sabi ko.
Kinuha ni Sam..
yung guitar..
sa music room nya.
Kinuha naman ni Aiyaz..
yung marshmalows..
at ibinigay nya ito..
sa akin.
"Here."
sabi nila parehas.
Dang.
Kailangan sabay talaga?
I didn't look at them.
"Thanks."
sabi ko.
"Fave mo naman..
ang marshmallows Ynneu..
kayang-kaya mo yan!"
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Not anymore..
Kuya Kneax.."
sabi ni Ali.
"Heh?
Hindi na ba?
Bakit naman?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Ewan ko nga po dyan."
sabi ni Ali.
I look at her.
"Hehe."
bulong nya.
I put..
five marshmallows..
in my mouth.
I started strumming.
"Game Ynneu!"
sigaw ni Ate Shayana.
"Rainbow by South Border!"
sigaw ni Eroseann.
Yun ang fave ko..
but..
not anymore too.
STAY by CUESHE ~
"Ay.
Hindi na Rainbow."
sabi ni Eroseann..
na mukhang nadismaya.
"Iba na rin..
fave song nya?"
tanong ni Shaouneile.
"Yeah."
sabi ni Ali.
I was singing..
then..
Ate Ely's phone ring.
She seems so shock.
Lumabas sya.
“Ang cute mo Ynneu!”
sigaw ni Ali.
Kuya Patch..
is taking pictures..
and videos of me.
How rude.
My mouth was full.
I can’t even speak.
So I just strum the guitar.
And they all sing with me.
Nagtawanan sila.
And I finished the song.
Sinabayan ulit nila ako..
sa pagkanta..
especially Aiyaz.
At bumalik na rin..
si Ate Ely.
Then..
they requested..
for more..
so..
I sing another song.
THE DAY YOU SAID GOODNIGHT by HALE ~
At the middle of the song..
Ate Ely's phone..
ring again.
Lumabas ulit sya..
with Kuya Kneaxi.
She seems worried.
Bumalik din sila.
"Is everything okay..
Eleyn?"
tanong ni Ate Shayana.
"Aa. Yeah."
sagot ni Ate.
We sing..
another songs.
Ali played the guitar too.
I requested for..
BORROWED TIME by CUESHE ~
and..
BACK TO ME by CUESHE ~
"Fave mo na..
Ynneu ang Cueshe?"
Ali asks me.
"Yeah..
and Hale."
sabi ko.
Then..
another ring again..
from Ate Ely's phone.
Lumabas ulit siya.
At pagbalik ni Ate Ely..
"Ynneu.
We have to go."
sabi nya.
"Where po?"
tanong ko.
"Hospital."
What?
Did I hear it right?
Hospital.
Why?
Did something..
happen?
Did something..
bad..
happen?
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 10: PAG-ALALA (PART 5)
MULING PAG-ALALA
YNNEU'S POV
"Hey.
What happened Eleyn?"
tanong ni Ate Shayana.
"Si Papa.
He was..
rushed..
in the hospital."
sagot ni Ate Ely.
Nabigla kami.
I'm shock.
What happened?
Why?
I want..
to ask why..
but..
I remain silent.
"Sorry but..
we really..
have to go..
now."
sabi ulit ni Ate Ely.
"No.
Sige na.
Medyo malalim..
na rin ang gabi."
sabi ni Ate Shayana.
I check the time.
11:30 p.m.
"Ihahatid ko na kayo."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Let's go."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
Ate Ely nodded.
"Sige.
Ingat kayo."
sabi ni Ate Dayana.
"Let's go Ynneu."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Oh."
sabi ko.
Natulala ako.
"Ingat kayo."
sabi nila.
Ali hugs me.
At lumabas na kami.
Tulala pa rin ako.
Ate Ely and Kuya Kneaxi..
sit at the back seat.
I sit beside Kuya Patch.
I can't speak.
Ate Ely..
looks worried too.
Tahimik sila..
ni Kuya Kneaxi.
Kuya Patch..
give us a ride.
We rush..
to the hospital.
"Hey."
sabi sa akin ni Kuya Patch.
I look at him.
"Everything..
will be fine."
I nodded.
And..
after 15 minutes..
we arrive..
at the hospital.
"Thanks."
sabi ni Ate Ely..
kay Kuya Patch.
We get out the car.
And Kuya Patch..
parks his car.
Nagmamadali sina..
Ate Ely at Kuya Kneaxi.
And..
I am just..
following them.
Then..
someone..
calls my name.
"Kibby!"
We look at her.
"Hey."
sabi nya.
And..
she hugs me..
and Ate Ely.
It's..
Ate Pammy.
Our oldest sister.
Bakit..
nandito sya?
"I miss you."
"Ate..
What..
are you..
doing here?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Hmm.
Let's go see Papa."
sabi nya.
At dumiretso na kami..
sa room ni Papa.
I see him.
He's asleep.
I also see..
Uncle Ron..
Auntie Beb..
at si Mama.
"Oh.
You're already here."
sabi ni Auntie Beb.
"What happened..
po Ma?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
Pero..
hindi sumagot..
si Mama.
She looks worried..
and..
she has..
teary eyes.
"Your Papa..
went home drunk."
sabi ni Uncle Ron.
Dang.
Kaya naman pala.
"Nag-iinom na naman..
po sya?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Hindi..
naman..
sya..
tumigil."
biglang sabi ko.
Dang.
Ynneu!
Are you..
out of your mind?
Bakit mo sinabi yun?
Lahat tuloy..
sila..
nakatingin sa akin.
"Hmm.
Sabi ng doctor..
his chest pains..
turned out..
to be caused..
by a minor..
heart attack."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Heart attack?"
gulat na sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Sobrang tigas..
kasi ng ulo..
ng Papa nyo."
sabi ni Mama.
Sobra.
Yeah.
Papa..
is a jolly..
and..
funny person.
But he's a heavy drinker.
He's a very..
different person..
when he's drunk.
A dangerous man.
One time..
we're at a party..
he got drunk too much..
he fought with Mama..
and..
he..
almost..
hurt her..
in front..
of many people..
especially..
in front..
of me.
Ever since..
that day..
I got trauma..
I dislike..
every person..
who drinks..
too much alcohol.
I dislike him.
I dislike Papa.
We're not..
really close.
Malayo..
ang loob ko..
kay Papa.
Minsan lang..
kami mag-usap.
Kapag umuuwi..
syang lasing..
sa bahay..
nagkukulong lang ako..
sa room ko.
"Ano po ba..
kasing problema..
ni Papa?"
tanong ni Ate Pammy.
"Ewan ko."
sagot ni Mama.
"Intindihin na lang..
natin si Papa."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
Yeah.
Close si Papa..
at si Ate Ely.
Paborito sya..
ni Papa.
Close naman..
sina Mama..
at Ate Pammy.
Ako?
Wala talaga..
akong ka-close..
kina Mama at Papa.
Sakto lang.
They both..
became busy..
when I was born.
They just..
left me..
at home..
with Ate Pammy..
and Ate Ely..
along with..
our nanny..
Manang Meme.
We have..
our nanny..
since Mama and Papa..
always go to work.
But..
as soon as..
we became..
independent on our own..
she left the house.
At first..
yes..
we became..
really close.
But..
they became..
busy too.
Minsan lang..
talaga kami..
nagkakasama ng kumpleto.
If that happens..
when we're..
all complete..
it was..
the best day..
for me.
But..
it happens..
only..
once..
in a blue moon.
We're not..
broken family..
but..
we're not..
even..
complete.
Even if..
we're complete..
I can't feel them.
I felt broken.
I felt unhappy.
Did they..
even care..
about me?
They work..
all day.
And..
when..
they went home..
it's their..
rest time.
They really have..
no time..
for me.
That's why..
I was..
left..
all alone.
That's why..
I used..
to live..
on my own..
alone.
That's why..
I became..
a very..
timid person.
I don't have..
the confidence..
to approach people..
and..
to make friends.
"Papa already..
have diabetes.
And now..
a heart disease."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
At biglang..
nagising si Papa.
Lumapit sa kanya..
sina Mama..
Ate Ely..
at Ate Pammy.
But..
I..
sneak..
of the room.
Aigoo.
Ayokong makitang..
ganun si Papa.
I don't know..
what to say.
I don't know..
what to do.
Naiinis ako.
Then..
I saw..
Kuya Kneaxi..
and..
Kuya Patch.
"Hey."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Okay na ba..
si Papa mo?"
tanong ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"He's awake now."
sagot ko.
"Good to know."
I nodded.
At tinalikuran..
ko sila.
"Wait Ynneu.."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
Humarap ulit ako.
I look at him.
"Saan ka..
pupunta?"
tanong nya.
"I'll just..
buy something."
sabi ko.
"Samahan..
na kita."
sabi nya.
He looks..
at Kuya Kneaxi.
Heh.
Bakit?
Dang.
"Sige.
Hintayin ko na lang..
si Eleyn dito."
sabi ni Kuya Kneaxi.
At nagpaalam sya..
kay Kuya Kneaxi.
At..
sinabayan nya ako..
sa paglalakad.
Silence.
Awkward.
Silence.
"Hmm. Ynneu.."
biglang sabi nya.
"Hmm?"
sabi ko.
"Anong..
bibilhin mo?"
tanong nya sa akin.
"Hmm.
Wala.
I just want..
to be alone."
sabi ko.
"Oh.
Sorry."
sabi nya.
"It's fine."
sabi ko.
"Well..
you can be alone..
with me."
And he smiles.
Heh.
Crazy.
But..
I don't know..
I smile.
"Yan!
Ngumiti ka na."
sabi nya.
Oh.
Yeah.
He made me..
smile.
At nakarating kami..
sa labas.
Walang ibang tao..
kundi..
yung body guard..
at yung isang girl..
na nasa may gate.
We sit..
at the bench.
"Ynneu.."
sabi nya.
"Hmm?"
"May sasabihin..
sana ako."
Naalala ko bigla.
May sasabihin..
nga pala sya.
I look at him.
Then..
suddenly..
a girl..
approach him.
"Renzo?"
"Hey..
Cass."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
He suddenly..
looks nervous.
"How are you?
Why are you here?"
tanong nung girl.
"Aaah..
I'm..
fine.
Something..
just came up.
Ikaw..
kamusta ka?"
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Okay lang din ako.
I just..
visit a friend."
"Aaah.
By the way..
Ynneu..
she's..
Cassiopeia..
my.."
Hindi natuloy..
ni Kuya Patch..
ang sasabihin nya.
The girl..
offers her right hand..
to me.
I just..
look at her.
"I'm his..
recent..
ex-girlfriend!"
sabi nung girl.
Then..
she smiles at me.
Oh.
Okay.
Wait.
Recent?
Ex?
Hmm.
Wala na pala..
agad sila.
Okay.
That's why..
he looks..
nervous.
He looks..
different.
"Aa.
Yeah."
sabi ni Kuya Patch..
na mukhang nahihiya.
"Sige Renzo..
Nice to meet you..
Ynneu!
Nice name."
sabi nung girl.
"Sige.
Ingat ka."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
At umalis na sya.
Silence.
Again.
Awkward.
Silence.
"Sorry."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Hmm?"
"About Cass.."
"Hmm?"
"Ynneu..
I..
still..
like you."
Dang.
Ano?
Ano na naman..
ba ito?
Aigoo.
I look at him.
"I love you Ynneu."
Dang.
"Wait."
sabi ko.
He come..
closer to me.
Hinawakan nya..
ang kamay ko.
"I know..
you're still..
not ready..
but please.."
I stop..
what his saying..
and..
I let go..
of his hands..
on mine.
I stand up.
"Kuya Patch."
"Kuya?"
"Yeah.
Kuya Patch.
What..
are you..
saying?
Why..
are you..
confessing..
to me..
all of a sudden?"
tanong ko.
"Ynneu..
please..
believe me."
"You just..
have..
a recent break-up.
And..
now this?"
"I know..
but.."
"Hey.."
"Ynneu..
please..
hear me.
I want..
to explain."
"Okay."
I sit again.
Hinayaan ko sya.
"After I heard..
everything..
you said..
to Aiyaz..
I realize..
something."
"Please..
don't pity me."
"I don't..
pity you Ynneu."
"No."
"Ynneu..
I made..
a mistake..
before.
Dapat hindi..
kita iniwan.
Dapat hindi ako..
naghanap ng iba.
Dapat..
hinintay kita."
Dang.
Memories.
Again.
Aigoo.
Yeah.
That time..
I'm not..
ready..
for a relationship.
He said..
he promised..
he will wait..
for me.
But..
he left me.
May iba na pala.
Nalaman ko na lang..
na may..
girlfriend na sya.
That time..
it really hurts.
Dang.
He made..
me believe..
that..
he will wait..
for me..
he will be there.
But..
he didn't..
keep..
his promise.
"I'm..
still sorry..
for what I did..
to you before.
But..
please..
believe me..
my feelings..
still remain..
it never change."
"Hey.."
"Please Ynneu..
give me..
one..
last..
chance."
"Ganyan..
ba talaga..
kayong..
mga lalaki?
Pabigla-bigla..
padalos-dalos?"
tanong ko.
"I just..
feel it Ynneu.
I have to say it."
"Are you..
that desperate..
in love?"
"No.
Hindi naman..
ganun yun Ynneu.
I don't want..
to regret..
this moment.
I really want..
to talk with you.
I really want..
to say it.
I really want..
a chance.
I just..
want to be real..
with myself..
and with you."
"Being real?"
"Yes."
"About that..
Cass..
do you..
already..
move on?"
Natahimik sya.
Hindi sya..
makasagot.
"See?
The way..
how I see you..
how you look..
at her..
you're still..
into her."
"No."
"Is this..
how..
you move on?
From..
one relationship..
to another?
Non-stop love?
Are you..
serious?
Is that..
even real?"
"Ynneu.."
"Mr. Erries Renzo Patchialle.
Please..
fix yourself.
You need..
to heal..
and be healed."
"I'm..
okay now.
Believe me.
I..
moved on."
"No.
You're not."
"What..
do you want..
me to do?"
"Heal yourself."
"Okay.
After..
I fix myself..
will you..
give me..
another chance?"
"I can't..
give you..
an answer now."
"It's fine."
Natahimik ulit kami.
Silence.
Awkward.
Silence.
"Ynneu."
sabi niya.
"Sorry."
sabi ko.
"No.
Don't be sorry.
I know..
you're still..
in pain..
right now.
You're..
not okay.
But..
I'm here..
for you.
I want..
to help you."
"Thanks.
But..
no thanks.
I know..
I can."
"Please..
let me..
be there for you."
He smiles.
"You..
don't have to..
Kuya Patch."
"Can you..
please..
cut..
the Kuya out?"
tanong nya.
I give him..
a strange look.
He knows the answer.
"Oh.
Okay.
But..
please..
remember..
I'm just..
here for you."
"Okay."
And..
silence..
again.
Then..
biglang..
dumating..
sina Ate Ely..
Kuya Kneaxi..
at Ate Pammy.
We stand up.
"Hey."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Hello po."
bati ni Kuya Patch.
"Erries..
right?
Thanks..
for bringing..
them here."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Aa.
Anytime po."
"But..
it's already..
early morning.
You should..
go home now."
I check the time.
1:15 a.m.
"Let's go bro."
yaya ni Kuya Kneaxi.
"Sige po.
Get well soon po..
kay Tito."
sabi ni Kuya Patch.
"Sige. Ingat kayo."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
Kuya Patch..
smiles at me.
I just..
look at him.
I nodded.
At umalis na sila.
And then..
Ate Ely..
and..
Ate Pammy..
sit on the bench.
Nakatayo lang ako.
"Kibby."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Are you okay?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Hmm?"
sagot ko.
"Halika nga dito!"
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
Umupo ako..
sa gitna nila.
Pero medyo..
magkakalayo kami.
Tapos..
siniksik nila..
ako bigla.
"Kibby!
I miss you!"
sabi ni Ate Pammy..
at niyakap-yakap nya ako.
Ganun din..
ang ginawa..
ni Ate Ely.
"Si Kibby lang?"
sabi ni Ate Ely..
at nagpout sya.
Dang.
Ano bang..
ginagawa nila?
Awkward kaya.
"Hey.."
sabi ko.
"Anong hey!"
sigaw sa akin..
ni Ate Pammy.
At hinampas-hampas..
nya ako.
"Bakit ka nga pala..
umuwi Ate?"
tanong ni Ate Ely..
kay Ate Pammy.
"Aa.
I leave my work.
Vacation lang.
But..
I'm also..
thinking..
of resigning.
I'll try..
to find..
work here.
Para..
magkakasama..
na ulit tayo.
Ako na rin muna..
ang mag-aalaga..
kina Mama at Papa.
Sobrang miss..
ko na kaya kayo!"
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Sus.
Tayo pa rin naman..
ang inaalagaan..
nina Mama at Papa.
Pero..
sobrang miss..
ka na rin namin Ate."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Kibby!
Hindi mo ba..
ako namiss?"
tanong nya.
"Nagtatampo..
pa rin yata..
ang bunsoy natin Ate!"
sabi ni Ate Ely.
Heh.
Bakit naman..
ako magtatampo?
"Nagtatampo..
ka pa rin ba..
bunsoy namin?"
tanong sa akin..
ni Ate Pammy..
habang yakap-yakap..
ang braso ko.
"Ate.
Hindi na po..
ako bata."
sabi ko.
"Oo nga..
pero..
bunsoy..
ka pa rin namin!"
sabi ni Ate Ely.
"Medyo awkward..
lang po kasi."
sabi ko.
"Anong awkward?
Hindi kaya!
Hindi kaya!"
sabi nila..
at niyakap-yakap..
nila ulit ako.
I smile.
And..
they smile at me.
Dang.
Aigoo.
Ano bang..
nakain nila?
Tapos..
biglang tumigil..
si Ate Pammy.
I look at her.
"Kibby.."
Ang seryoso..
ng mukha nya.
"Hmm?"
tanong ko.
"Sorry."
At nagsalita rin..
si Ate Ely.
"Sorry din."
Dang.
Ano bang..
problema nila?
"Po?"
tanong ko.
"We're sorry..
sa mga pagkukulang..
namin..
bilang..
kapatid mo."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
Ha?
Ano bang..
sinasabi nila?
"Sorry..
for making things..
hard for you.
Sorry..
for having..
a hard life.
Sorry..
for having..
a family like this.
Sorry..
for the times..
you needed us..
but..
we're not there..
for you."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
"Alam namin Kibby..
hindi ka okay."
sabi ni Ate Ely.
Dang.
Bakit..
naiiyak ako?
Hindi.
Hindi pwede.
"Pasensya na..
kung..
naging malayo..
kami sayo."
"Pasensya na..
kung naging..
strikto..
kami sayo..
at kontrolado..
kami sayo."
"We made you..
do the things..
that..
we only wanted."
"Dahilan para..
hindi mo matupad..
kung ano talaga..
ang gusto mo."
"Forgive us..
Kibby."
"It is hard..
for us too..
but..
we know that..
it is harder..
for you."
"Forgive..
Mama and Papa."
"Alam namin..
na nagtampo ka..
na nagtatampo ka..
sa amin."
"Please..
understand..
lahat naman ng ginawa..
at ginagawa namin..
ay para rin sayo..
para sa atin."
Nakikinig lang ako..
sa kanila.
With my tears..
falling.
"You've..
changed a lot..
pero..
alam namin..
nandyan pa rin..
sa puso mo..
yung bunsoy namin..
na mahal..
na mahal..
namin."
sabi ni Ate Pammy..
na naiiyak na rin.
"But..
above all of that..
we're very much..
proud..
of you."
"We love you..
so much Kibby."
naiiyak na sabi..
ni Ate Ely.
"Always..
remember that..
we love you..
always."
I just nodded.
"Wag ka nang umiyak!"
sigaw nila sa akin.
And..
they wipe my tears.
Mga iyakin pala kami.
Dramas.
"Mapapatawad mo..
pa ba kami?"
tanong ni Ate Ely.
"Okay na po."
I smile.
"Are you sure?"
tanong ni Ate Pammy.
I nodded.
At biglang..
dumating..
si Mama.
She's crying too.
Napakinggan nya ba?
"Mga anak.."
sabi nya..
habang naiiyak.
Nagmana siguro kami..
kay Mama.
Aigoo.
"Ma.."
sabi ni Ate Pammy.
And..
we hug each other.
Hoho.
After the drama..
we go back..
to Papa's room.
He looks..
fine now.
Nagkukwento na sya.
Nagbibiro na rin sya.
He makes us smile..
and laugh.
Pero..
napagalitan pa rin sya..
nina Mama..
Ate Pammy..
at Ate Ely.
He promised..
he will never..
drink alcohol again..
he will take..
good care of himself..
of his health..
from now on.
And..
we all hug..
each other again.
That hugs..
from my family..
mean a lot to me.
Their hearts..
speak to me.
A sincere sorry..
from them.
A genuine care..
from them.
An unbreaking trust..
from them.
An everlasting love..
from them.
And a calm forgiveness..
for me.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 11: PAG-ASA
PANIBAGONG PAG-ASA
YNNEU'S POV
Sunrise.
Another day..
A fresh start..
New beginnings..
New hopes..
I am..
here now..
at the seaside.
Why?
Wala lang.
I exercise.
I do jogging.
And..
I watch..
the sunrise.
This is..
the perfect spot..
to see this..
wonderful sign..
of hope..
and optismism.
I go..
near the seawater.
I gently stare..
as it waves softly.
I suddenly..
close my eyes.
I hug..
myself.
I hear..
the sound..
of the waves..
along with..
the whisper..
of the fresh wind.
Then..
suddenly..
someone..
closes my eyes.
I see..
darkness.
I can feel..
the soft palms..
of both hands..
on my eyes.
I also smell..
something..
sweet.
"Hey."
Bulong nya sa akin.
Dang.
The who?
"Hey?"
sabi ko.
"Why..
are you here?"
tanong nya.
"I'm the one..
who should..
question you that."
sabi ko.
"Heh."
sabi nya.
At inalis nya..
ang kamay nya.
I open my eyes.
The sun's shine is..
hurting my eyes.
Blurred.
I touch my head.
I feel dizzy.
I was..
about to fall..
when..
someone..
hug me..
from the back.
"Ynneu!"
sigaw nila.
I face them.
It's Eroseann..
and..
Shaouneile.
"Hey."
sabi ko.
"Are you okay?"
"Aa. Yeah."
"Ikaw kasi Shaou!"
sigaw ni Eroseann.
"Bakit ako?
Ikaw kaya Erose!"
sigaw din ni Shaouneile.
Silang dalawa..
ang pinakabunso..
ng KILL FAM.
They fight..
like dogs and cats.
But..
they're super close.
And..
they're best friends.
"Hey..
I'm fine."
sabi ko.
And..
I smile.
"Sure?"
tanong nila.
I nodded.
And..
they hug me.
Heh?
Bakit?
"Ynneu.."
sabi ni Eroseann..
habang nakayakap sa akin.
"Hmm?"
tanong ko.
Anong problema nila?
"Wala lang."
sagot ni Eroseann.
At..
nagsalita naman..
si Shaouneile.
"Qeiv.."
"Hmm?"
Ano kayang..
nakain nila?
"Wala lang din."
sagot nya.
"Hey..
Why..
are you like that?"
tanong ko.
Hindi sila sumagot.
"May problema ba?"
tanong ko ulit.
"Wala."
sabi nila.
"The more..
you say nothing..
the more..
I will think..
that..
there's really..
something."
sabi ko.
"Wala nga!"
sigaw nila..
habang nakayakap..
pa rin sa akin.
Dang.
Aigoo.
I'm just worried.
"Hey..
I'm serious."
sabi ko.
At humigpit..
ang yakap nila.
At unti-unting..
silang kumawala..
sa akin.
At..
biglang..
tumawa.
"Hahahahaha."
malakas na tawa nila.
Nabaliw na.
I pout.
At biglang..
"Ang seryoso mo..
naman Ynneu!"
sabi nila..
at binasa nila ako.
"Hey!"
sigaw ko.
Pero..
patuloy pa rin sila..
sa pagbasa sa akin.
Dang.
So cold.
Tumakbo na ako..
papalayo.
"Hoy!"
sigaw nila.
"Tama na!"
sabi ko.
"Miss Serious!"
sigaw nila.
At bigla nila..
akong hinila..
pabalik sa tubig.
At binasa..
ng paulit-ulit..
habang tumatawa.
Dang.
Ang lamig!
Kaya naman..
I joined them.
Binasa-basa..
ko rin sila.
And..
I laugh..
with them.
At..
nung basang-basa na kami..
"Haays.
Nakakapagod!"
sigaw ni Shaouneile..
habang hinihingal.
Yeah.
My heart beats fast.
"Kaya nga!
Si Ynneu kasi!"
sigaw ni Eroseann.
I look at her.
Why me?
"Don't give me..
that look!
Heh.
Ikaw nga kasi!"
sabi nya..
at binasa nila ulit ako.
At inakbayan..
at umahon..
na rin kami.
The sun shines..
so brightly.
We go..
to the small cottage.
And..
we dry..
our wet body..
and dresses.
I sit.
At tinabihan..
nila ako.
"Ikaw kasi Ynneu!"
sabi ulit ni Eroseann.
I look at her again.
"Oo nga..
Ikaw kasi Ynneu."
sabi naman ni Shaouneile.
And..
I look at her too.
Dang.
Ano bang ako?
Bakit ako?
"We..
miss this."
sabi ni Eroseann.
"We miss..
you Ynneu."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
I look at them.
They're so sincere.
"I also..
miss this.
I miss you both."
sabi ko..
and I smile.
Oo nga.
Namiss ko rin..
ang kakulitan nila.
"We really..
miss you Ynneu."
sabi ulit nila.
"We miss the old you."
Napatungo ako.
"Saan ka ba kasi nagpunta?"
"Bakit bigla kang nawala?"
"Bakit bigla mo kaming iniwan?"
"Uwi ka na."
"Hindi ka naman ganyan dati."
"Bakit bigla kang nag-iba?"
"Bakit bigla kang nagbago?"
"Balik ka na."
"Yung masayahing Ynneu.."
"Yung mga ngiti mo.."
"Yung mga tawa mo.."
sabi ni Eroseann.
"Yung makulit na Ynneu.."
"Yung mga jokes mo.."
"Yung mga pranks mo.."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"Yung madaldal na Ynneu.."
"Yung mga kwento mo.."
"Yung mga kanta mo.."
"Yung okay na Ynneu.."
sabi nila.
Dang.
Bakit..
bakit ako..
naiiyak?
Tears.
Tears.
Tears.
"Ynneu..
please..
come back."
"Sobrang miss ka na namin..
yung totoong ikaw."
And..
they cry too.
"Sorry.."
iyak ko.
I wipe my tears.
"I also miss..
myself.
I miss..
my old self.
I miss..
my true self."
sabi ko.
Umiiyak sila.
"Hey..
tama na."
sabi ko.
"Ikaw kasi..
talaga!"
sigaw nila sa akin..
at niyakap nila..
ulit ako.
Iyakin talaga kami.
They wipe their tears.
I wipe mine.
At bigla..
silang tumawa.
"Hahaha.
Drama!"
"Hahaha.
Baliw!"
sabi nila.
I laugh.
"Thank you."
bulong ko sa kanila.
"Ikaw na ba ulit..
si Ynneu namin?"
"Ikaw na ba yung..
totoong Ynneu?"
tanong nila.
"Ako pa rin..
naman 'to."
sagot ko.
"Hindi!"
"Hindi pa rin!"
sigaw nila.
"Eros..
Shaou.."
sabi ko.
They look at me.
I used to call them..
with that names.
"Hindi naman..
ako nawala..
I just..
needed time.
A time..
to find myself..
fix myself..
and..
heal myself.
I needed..
to change..
everything..
myself..
the whole me..
for the better."
"Are you..
feeling better..
now?"
tanong ni Eroseann.
I nodded.
"Still..
you shouldn't face..
it alone.
We're family..
and..
we're always here..
for you."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"I know..
and..
I'm sorry."
sabi ko.
"No.
Don't be sorry.
We understand..
you Ynneu."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
"We know..
being alone..
makes you stronger."
sabi ni Eroseann.
"And..
we also know..
you're not..
completely..
better now."
sabi ni Shaouneile.
I nodded.
"Always remember..
we're just here."
"If you feel like..
you want to smile..
you want to laugh..
you want to play..
you want to cry..
you want to be okay..
we'll be right there."
"We're just two calls away."
They wink.
And..
I smile.
They hug me again.
We talk more..
about some things..
and..
when we dry ourselves..
nagyaya sila..
na umuwi na.
But..
I refuse.
I want to stay..
a little longer.
Kaya naman..
umuwi na sila..
at naiwan ako dito.
I just want..
some time..
alone.
Just me..
myself..
and..
I.
But..
then..
I see..
one guy..
walking..
near the seawater.
He's tall..
and slightly dark.
He's wearing..
a plain black..
hoodie jacket..
with a plain..
white shirt.
and black shorts.
He has..
black sunglasses.
He also..
has headphones.
His hands..
are inside..
his shorts pockets.
He seems..
to be thinking..
deep.
He faces..
the ocean.
And then..
he stops..
right..
where I'm sitting..
and he screams.
"AAAAHHH!"
Hmm.
Buti na lang..
medyo malayo ako.
Medyo malakas din..
ang boses nya.
Then..
he turns backward.
He sees me.
I look away.
But..
he walks..
towards me.
And..
then..
he approaches me.
I can hear..
the song..
in his headphones.
FALL TO PIECES by AVRIL LAVIGNE ~
Nice song.
He put his headphones..
in his neck.
He..
looks..
familiar.
"Hi."
sabi nya.
I just..
look at him.
Then..
he sits..
beside me.
But not too close.
"Do you live..
nearby?"
tanong nya.
Pero..
hindi ako sumagot.
"My name's Ben."
sabi nya.
And..
he offers his hand.
Pero..
di ko sya pinansin.
"Oh!
I think..
I know you."
biglang sabi nya.
I look at him.
Eh?
Kilala nya ako?
"That looks..
Hmm..
I really..
know you."
sabi nya.
And..
I look away.
"You're.."
I look at him..
again.
And..
he looks at me too.
"Alam mo ba..
ang kwento..
ni Shanshan..
at Kwinkwin?"
tanong nya.
Dang.
He changes..
the topic.
And..
who's that..
Shanshan..
and..
Kwinkwin?
At biglang..
tumawa sya.
"Hahaha.
Hindi mo ba..
sila kilala?"
tanong nya.
I don't answer him.
I just..
look at the sky.
And then..
unti-unting..
nagdilim ang langit.
Heh?
Ang init-init kanina.
"Ang init kanina..
tapos parang uulan."
sabi nya.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Same thought.
Aigoo.
Well..
that's life.
Changes.
"Sudden changes."
biglang sabi nya.
Aigoo.
Same thought..
again.
"Lahat talaga..
nagbabago."
sabi nya.
"Yeah."
biglang sabi ko.
Wait.
Did I answer him?
"Well..
that's life."
sabi nya..
"Yeah."
biglang sabi ko ulit.
Dang.
I answer him again.
I look at him.
He looks at me..
and he smiles.
"Why do you think..
there are..
changes?"
tanong nya.
I don't answer him.
"Someone said..
there are changes..
because..
there are learnings.
We all change..
because we learn.
You can't change..
if you don't learn.
If you don't..
experience changing..
you're not learning.
If you're not learning..
you're nothing."
sabi nya.
"Yeah."
sabi ko.
I answer him again.
Dang.
He's right.
Somehow..
it sounds..
familiar.
"But..
what if..
there are..
bad learnings..
and bad changes?"
tanong nya.
"Good or bad..
there are..
still learnings..
so there are..
still changes.
It's normal..
and natural..
that we do and learn..
bad things.
I believe that..
we can't always..
learn good things..
at first hand.
That's why..
there are..
lot of chances..
and opportunities..
of learning..
and changing.
We're just humans..
we're all sinners.
But..
I know..
somehow..
we can all learn..
the same..
the same good things..
and..
we can all change..
the same..
the same good changes."
sabi ko.
Dang.
Hey Ynneu!
Why?
What did you say?
What did I say?
I remember..
something.
"Hmm.
You're really that someone."
he says..
and he's amazed.
"That someone?"
tanong ko.
"Kwinibinibini."
sabi nya.
Dang.
That's my..
codename..
as a writer.
Sabi ko na.
"How?"
"I saw..
one of your posts..
and..
I commented.
I had the..
same question..
and..
you had..
the same answer.
And I know..
you're not..
the person..
who replies..
on the comment section.
And..
I was..
so shocked before..
you messaged me..
personally..
and..
you answered..
just like that."
"You're..
B-B-Ben..
Benbendesaraben?"
sabi ko.
Dang.
Naalala ko na.
He is..
Ben.
Benbendesaraben.
What a funny codename!
Aigoo.
I laugh a little.
"You remembered!"
sigaw nya.
"Yeah."
I smile.
"I was so glad..
that you messaged me..
I hope..
to talk to you..
more..
but..
you didn't reply..
since that day."
Yeah.
That day..
when..
I left..
my accounts..
my pages..
my stories..
in the online world.
"Kwinibi.
what a cute name!"
sabi nya.
"Do you know me?"
tanong ko.
"Not really..
but..
if you will..
let me..
can I..
know you?"
sagot nya.
"How..
do you know..
that name?"
"I follow you."
He smiles.
"Aa."
sabi ko.
Kaya pala.
"I love..
your posts..
and stories."
sabi nya.
"Thanks."
"You're..
Miss Fluent in Silence..
Princess Jacket..
Wasted Queen..
Qaeiou Qaeiou..
and..
Queen Alas."
sabi nya.
Omo.
He knows a lot.
And suddenly..
it begins..
to rain..
slowly.
"Here comes..
the weather changes."
sabi nya.
"Haha.
By the way..
I'm..
a big fan..
of yours."
biglang sabi nya.
"Aa.
Yeah.
Thanks."
"Why?"
tanong nya.
"Why.."
tanong ko.
Dang.
It's getting colder.
This pouring rain..
gives me chills.
I hug myself.
"Do you feel cold?"
tanong nya.
Heh.
It's so obvious.
And then..
he get off..
his jacket.
"Here."
And then..
he put it..
in my back.
"Alam ko..
sakitin ka..
at lamigin.
Hmm..
Princess Jacket.
You have that name..
because..
you always..
wear jacket..
you love jackets..
but it's strange..
you're not..
wearing one."
And..
he let me..
wear it.
I look at him.
Dang.
Wala akong nagawa.
Pati yun alam nya?
Why?
How?
Aigoo.
"I really..
know you..
I read all..
your articles..
your posts..
your poems..
your stories..
your random facts..
all about you."
sabi nya.
Dang.
Is he reading my mind?
All about me?
Geez.
Weirdo.
"Yeah.
I'm really..
a bit..
weird..
sometimes.
Sorry."
sabi nya.
Heh.
Unbelievable.
He's really..
answering..
the questions..
on my mind!
I'm getting..
goosebumps.
Strange.
"Oh.
Okay.
Thanks."
sabi ko.
"So..
why did you..
stop posting?
Did you..
stop writing?"
tanong nya.
Aa.
Yeah.
I stop posting.
I stop writing.
Ever since..
Dang.
Naalala ko na naman.
"Aa.
Yeah."
sabi ko.
"You mean..
you really stopped?
Bakit naman?"
tanong nya.
"Aa.
I want..
to take some rest.
I had..
to take..
a long rest."
sabi ko.
"Aaah..
So when..
will you..
come back?"
tanong nya.
"I..
don't..
know."
sagot ko.
"Please..
come back."
sabi nya.
I look at him.
And..
I look away.
Hmm.
I'm sick.
My body..
my mind..
my heart..
my soul..
is still..
healing.
And..
I don't know..
when will..
I can..
come back.
How can..
I come back?
"Writing..
can heal..
your sickness.
Writing..
is a good start.
Jot down..
what you feel.
Good or bad..
happy or sad..
wonderful or painful.
Express it..
through words.
Writing..
is also..
a good medicine..
for your..
continuous..
healing."
sabi nya.
Omo.
Impossible.
Did he just..
read my mind..
again?
Am I..
an easy reader?
Or..
he just..
knows something?
But..
I didn't leave..
any message..
that I'm sick..
that I'm in pain..
that I'm healing.
Hmm..
How?
"Hey..
I can..
read your mind."
sabi nya.
"What?!"
sigaw ko sa kanya.
Nabigla sya.
"Joke!"
sigaw din nya.
"Hey."
sabi ko.
"Maybe..
I can..
read your face..
especially..
your eyes."
"My eyes?"
"Yeah.
Your eyes..
speaks."
Dang.
Ayoko na.
Nakakaewan.
I look away.
Weird.
But..
seriously..
that time..
I also thought..
of writing..
I tried.
I wanted..
to write..
but..
I can't.
Feels like..
I lost..
my hands..
I can't even..
touch a pen..
or..
touch my lappy.
I can't express..
my true feelings.
I can't do it.
I can't..
write well.
I can't..
think well.
Bad ideas..
Negative things..
Unhappy thoughts..
All I can think..
is pain.
All I can feel..
is pain.
Thinking..
and feeling..
the pain..
it kills me.
I cried..
and..
cried.
I tried..
but..
I didn't..
succeed.
I made..
nothing..
not a single piece.
At bigla..
na naman..
syang nagsalita.
"If it didn't work..
just give yourself..
time..
you need..
more time.
Take your time.
Take it easy.
One word..
each day.
One phrase..
each day.
One verse..
a day.
One piece..
a day."
"Yeah.
Okay."
sabi ko.
I look at him.
"Don't rush..
things.
Don't make..
it too hard..
for yourself.
I know..
you're..
a good writer..
You're..
a real..
and..
a natural one.
You are born..
with it.
All you have to do..
is be born again."
sabi ulit nya.
"Yeah."
sabi ko ulit..
I nodded.
Dang.
Wala akong..
ibang masabi.
He's good.
He's..
a good speaker.
His words..
are convincing.
His words..
give me hope.
"Cheer up..
Kwinkwin!"
sigaw nya.
I look at him.
"Kwin..
kwin?"
tanong ko.
"Aaaah.
Shanshan..
and..
Kwinkwin?"
"Huh?"
"Oh.
Come on!
The Biggest Mistake..
of Falling In Love?"
Dang.
Yeah.
I remember.
It's one of my stories.
My first story.
Shanshan.
and..
Kwinkwin.
are the main characters.
Sobrang tagal na nun.
First year high school..
ko pa yata yun sinulat.
"You're..
really..
Kwinkwin..
right?"
tanong nya.
"What do you mean?"
tanong ko.
"I mean..
all of your stories..
the female lead character..
is you."
sabi nya.
Dang.
How did he know?
No.
Stop.
Don't talk to me!
Baka sumagot na naman sya.
And..
he grins.
Dang.
I'm crazy.
"Can you please..
stop..
reading my mind?"
"Your eyes.."
"My eyes..
or whatever."
sabi ko.
Dang.
Why..
he can..
read me?
Aigoo.
Nakakainis.
"Hey..
Please..
don't get annoyed."
sabi nya.
Hindi ko sya pinansin.
"So..
it's you right?"
Hindi ako sumagot.
"Hey..
Kwene..
Kwenepot..
Kwenybi..
Kyubi..
Kwini."
Dang.
Alam nya ba..
talaga lahat?
"Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're right."
sabi ko.
"Yes.
Sabi ko na!"
sabi nya.
"How did..
you know?"
"True stories..
and..
real-life..
experiences..
ba lahat..
ng gawa mo?"
tanong nya.
I look at him.
Hey.
I'm asking you.
How did you know?
"Aa.
Haha.
I just know.
I just guess..
about it."
"Liar."
sabi ko.
"Hey.
Really..
I just know it."
"Liar."
sabi ko ulit.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"Okay.
It's just..
I can see you..
in every..
lead female character..
you made."
Dang.
How can..
he sees me?
"I don't..
really know..
but..
seriously..
I see you."
"Yeah.
Okay."
"I'm really a fan..
of your works..
and pieces."
"Do you really..
read all..
of my works..
all about me?"
"Yeah.
Want some..
proof?
Test me.
Question me."
sabi nya..
na mukhang confident.
Game.
Let me see.
"Okay."
Let me try..
you..
Benbendesaraben.
"Wait.
What if..
I will answer..
correctly?"
tanong nya.
Dang.
Ang kulit nya.
"Okay.
What do you want?"
"You will..
tell me..
what happened..
to Shanshan..
and Kwinkwin."
"What?!"
sigaw ko.
"The story..
The Biggest Mistake..
of Falling In Love..
what really happens..
to you..
and Shanshan?"
"But the story..
ended already."
"Yeah.
But..
I want to know..
what really happens..
to the real story."
Dang.
Bakit gusto nyang malaman?
"It's one..
of my fave!"
sabi nya.
"Really?"
"Yeah.
It was..
so interesting..
though..
it had..
an unhappy ending."
sabi nya.
"Yeah.
Okay.
I'll tell you."
"Okay!
So..
what's your question?"
tanong nya.
I look..
up the sky.
It's still raining.
"What is the thing..
that..
I dislike..
the most?"
tanong ko.
"Hard question..
but..
I know..
the answer."
I just..
look at him.
Konti lang..
ang nakakaalam..
ng sagot..
sa tanong ko.
Even my parents..
and my siblings..
don't know about it.
"What you..
dislike the most..
is when..
you're..
being stopped..
or rejected..
in doing..
what you want."
Dang.
How could he?
He really knows it.
"Dang!
I'm..
correct right?"
"Tss.
Dang."
sabi ko.
That's my fave line.
He really knows a lot..
about myself.
Baka nga..
mas kilala..
nya pa ako..
kaysa..
sa sarili ko.
I think..
I have to change..
the random facts..
about me.
"Hmm.
So..
what happened..
to Shanshan..
and Kwinkwin?"
tanong nya.
"Well..
Shanshan..
and Kwinkwin..
really had..
an unhappy ending.
It's not..
really true..
that Shanshan's..
first love..
is Kwinkwin."
"Heh?!
Are you serious?"
nagtatakang tanong nya.
"Yeah.
He had..
another girl..
before me.
But seriously..
Shanshan..
is my first love."
"Bakit dun..
sa kwento?"
"I already..
give an answer.
No more questions."
sabi ko.
"Folow-up question lang."
"I already answered..
your first question."
"Daya."
sabi nya.
Hindi na ako nagsalita.
"Hindi..
ako..
naniniwala.
Shanshan's first love..
is Kwinkwin."
sabi nya.
I just laugh.
"Hahaha.
You laugh."
sabi nya.
At..
napansin ko..
the rain stops.
I need..
to go home..
now.
I stand.
"The rain..
stops.
Uuwi ka na?"
"Yeah."
"I'll escort you."
sabi nya.
Huh?
I give him..
a strange look.
"Why?"
"I can..
go home..
alone."
"Oh.
Yeah.
Okay."
"Let's meet again."
biglang sabi ko.
"Heh?
Really?"
nangingiting tanong nya.
"I'll..
just return..
your jacket."
"Aa.
Okay."
I was about..
to walk away..
but..
I face him.
"Thanks."
sabi ko.
And..
I smile at him.
"You're welcome.
Thank you."
At..
tumalikod na ako..
sa kanya.
"It's very nice..
to meet you..
Kwinibinibini.
See you again..
Ma'am Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala.
Take care."
sigaw nya.
I look back.
He knows..
my real name.
How?
At..
unti-unti..
nyang tinanggal..
ang salamin nya.
"I'm..
Bencho Benjamin Benedicto."
Omo.
Dang.
I know him.
He's Benj.
That famous Benj.
Our batch's..
Summa Cum Laude.
Kaya pala.
He looks..
familiar.
Kaya pala..
he speaks well.
At..
kaya pala.
BENBENdesaraBEN.
Triple BEN.
BENcho.
BENjamin.
BENedicto.
And..
I walk..
away.
I smile.
It feels good..
to talk..
with him.
Talking..
to..
a..
half-stranger.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
by: queen_alas
CHAPTER 12: PAALAM
MAGANDANG PAALAM
YNNEU'S POV
After 12 hours..
of travelling.
Time check.
5:00 a.m.
Aigoo.
What a trip.
I enjoy it.
I feel free.
And..
I am..
here now..
at the villa..
of my Lolo Nomnom..
my Mama's father.
"Welcome home..
Kibby!"
sabi ni Lolo.
And..
he hugs me.
"I miss you po..
Lo."
sabi ko.
"Aww.
How are you?"
tanong nya.
"I'm..
fine po."
sagot ko.
"Mabuti naman..
at naisipan..
mong bumisita dito."
"Aa.
O-Opo."
sabi ko.
Hindi pa rin pala..
alam ni Lolo.
Hmm.
I'll be..
staying here..
for good.
"Hmm.
Bakit nga pala..
mag-isa ka lang?"
"They're..
all busy po."
"Aa.
Ganun ba..
But..
that's okay."
"Opo."
I smiled.
"Okay.
I know..
you're tired."
"Medyo lang po..
Lo."
Kinuha ni Lolo..
ang ibang gamit..
na dala ko.
"Sige..
tara na pumasok..
sa loob."
I nodded.
At pumasok na kami.
The villa..
still looks the same.
Luxurious.
Glamorous.
Enormous.
What view.
I see..
the huge garden..
tall trees..
plants..
flowers..
Naalala ko bigla..
si Lola Namnam.
My First Heartbreak.
Bata pa kami..
nung huli..
kaming nagpunta dito.
Because of some issues..
nina Mama at Lolo..
matagal kaming..
hindi nakabalik dito.
Pero..
naging okay din..
naman sila.
I am..
a Lola's girl.
I was..
very close..
to my Lola before.
Lolo was busy..
with his work..
that's why..
she let Lola..
take good care..
of the villa.
And..
she took..
good care of me.
But then..
Lola suffered..
from a disease..
We came..
to visit them..
for a few weeks.
We take care..
of Lola.
But sadly..
she didn't..
survive.
That time..
I was..
lonely.
That's why..
Mama and Papa..
decided..
to leave..
the villa.
That made me..
very..
very sad.
They said..
they want..
to start..
anew..
to another..
place.
That time..
we invited Lolo..
to came with us..
but..
he rejected.
He said..
he can't leave..
Lola Namnam..
and..
the villa.
That time too..
I was planning..
to stay..
with Lolo..
pero..
hindi ako pinayagan..
nina Mama at Papa.
Kaya naiwan..
si Lolo dito.
I always..
wanted..
to come..
back here.
Kaya lang..
hindi ako pinapayagan..
na mag-isa..
kasi..
hindi..
ko pa raw kaya.
Pero..
ngayon..
na kaya ko na..
kaya..
pinilit ko sila.
And..
they let me.
I see..
some people..
who lives here..
who helps Lolo..
to take good care..
of this villa.
"I would like..
you to meet..
my granddaughter..
Kib!"
"Aa.
Welcome home po..
Ma'am!"
sabi nila.
And..
they bow down..
to me.
At kinuha nung isa..
ang mga gamit..
na dala namin ni Lolo.
"Good morning po.
Thank you po."
sabi ko..
And..
I also..
bow down to them.
They all..
give me..
a wide smile.
At dinala naman..
ako ni Lolo..
sa lugar kung saan..
maraming..
sunflowers.
Wow.
Astonishing.
Oh.
Oo nga pala.
Alam din nya..
na fave ko..
ang sunflowers.
"Very stunning.."
sabi ko.
"Hmm.
I know..
you'll love this.
Just like..
your Lola."
Yeah.
Lola Namnam..
really loves..
flowers..
especially..
sunflowers.
"I miss..
Lola."
"I miss her..
too..
so much."
"Tanda mo pa pala..
Lo."
"Of course apo!"
"Beautiful."
"But.."
sabi ni Lolo.
I look at him.
"You're..
more beautiful."
I smile.
"I know..
Lo."
I laugh.
And..
he laughs too.
And then..
I see..
an old..
yet still good..
tri-bicycles.
Aigoo.
Nakakamiss.
Fave ko rin 'to.
Tri-bicycles.
Lagi namin..
ginagamit nina Ate.
"Buhay pa rin..
po ito..
Lo?"
tanong ko.
"Ginagamit pa rin..
namin yan dito."
"Wow.
Ang galing..
naman po."
sabi ko.
"Tara?"
yaya ni Lolo.
"Sige po."
I smile.
And..
we ride it.
Driver ko si Lolo.
Aigoo.
I can feel..
the fresh air.
I close my eyes.
"Kibby..
apo."
sabi ni Lolo.
I open..
my eyes.
"Po?"
"Are you..
okay?"
He smiles.
"O-Opo?"
sabi ko.
"Nakikita ko kasi..
sa mga mata mo."
"Alin po?"
"Your eyes..
look sad."
"Aa.
H-Hindi naman po."
"Apo..
No matter..
how you try..
to hide it..
the more it shows.
Our lips..
can smile.
but..
our eyes..
can't lie."
"Aaaa.
Sorry po..
Lo.
But..
I'm fine..
naman po."
"Kibby.
I'm really..
a good..
mind reader."
Heh.
Mind reader.
Aigoo.
May naalala tuloy ako.
Ben.
Benbendesaraben.
I smile.
Omo.
Nakatingin pala..
si Lolo.
"Oh?
Di ka naniniwala?"
"Aa.
Hindi po..
Lo."
"Hindi nga?"
"Aa.
I mean..
naniniwala po ako."
sabi ko.
Aigoo.
"Why..
did you smile?"
"Aa.
I just remember..
something po."
"Sino?"
I smile again.
Dang.
Pag may naalala..
sino agad?
Aigoo.
"Boyfriend?"
"H-Hindi po..
Lo."
Dang.
"Hmm..
Okay.
Sige..
Sabi mo e."
And..
he winks at me.
Aigoo.
"I don't have..
boyfriend po..
Lo."
"Bakit naman?"
Aigoo.
I just..
smile at him.
I don't..
give him..
an answer.
"How..
can you..
read minds po?"
tanong ko.
And..
he just..
smiles at me.
"Hmm.
Natural ability."
"Natural?"
"Yeah.
Instinct."
"Aa."
"Apo..
We can..
all read minds..
it's God's gift..
but..
not all..
can read..
the truth..
the whole truth."
"Hmm."
Yeah.
I agree.
"Sometimes..
we can..
read the mind..
we can..
read the truth..
but..
we can't read..
the whole story."
Yeah.
"But..
isn't that bad?"
tanong ko.
"Reading minds?"
I nodded.
"Aa.
You're thinking..
about privacy?"
I nodded again.
"Oh.
Sometimes..
thinking..
about it..
yes..
it's bad..
because..
you're going..
through..
beyond..
privacy.
Minsan kasi..
magsasabi sila.
Minsan naman..
hindi nila..
sasabihin.
It really..
depends..
on how others..
react.
But..
you can't blame..
the person..
if he/she can read..
what you're thinking."
paliwanag ni Lolo.
"Why po?"
"May mga taong kasing..
kilalang-kilala ka na.
kaya..
madali na..
para sa kanila..
ang mabasa..
kung anong..
iniisip mo.
Minsan naman..
may mga taong..
madali lang..
makaintindi..
ng mga iniisp mo.
Dahil..
siguro..
sa mga kinkilos mo..
o siguro..
nakikita nila..
ang sarili..
nila sayo..
dahil na rin..
sa mga pinagdaanan..
din nila..
sa buhay.
At minsan..
may mga taong..
mas kilala ka pa..
kaysa sa sarili mo."
"Hmm."
Ganun pala yun.
Kilala nga ako ni Ben.
But..
how?
"Hmm..
Are you..
asking me how?"
tanong ni Lolo.
Dang.
Wow.
Did Lolo..
just read..
what I'm thinking?
"Kibby.
You're too obvious."
sabi nya.
"Am I..
that..
easy to read?"
tanong ko.
"Yes."
"Paano po..
Lo?"
"I can read you..
through..
your expressions.
I can read you..
through..
your movements.
I can read..
your whole face.
I can read..
your eyes.
Even if..
you don't..
say anything..
your eyes speak..
your eyes..
say it all."
Really?
Hmm.
And then..
suddenly..
we reach..
the mansion.
It looks old..
but..
still..
classy.
Three-floored house..
Wide terrace..
Spacious parking..
"Let's talk more..
later."
sabi nya.
And..
he winks again.
"Aa. Opo."
I smile.
I get off..
the tri-bike.
"Go inside now.
Take some rest."
"Okay po."
"Feel at home.
You room's..
still the same."
"Thanks..
for the ride..
Lo."
"Sige apo..
I'll call you..
later.
Let's eat..
breakfast together."
"Sige po..
Lo."
At pumasok na ako..
sa loob.
I see..
the sala..
and..
our..
big..
family picture.
Mga bata pa kami.
And then..
I also see.
Lolo's piano.
He's a pianist.
I remember..
he plays..
for the choir..
in our church..
before.
Is it still working?
Maalam pa kaya..
si Lolo?
Then..
I go..
straight..
to my room.
Mamaya na ulit..
ako maglilibot.
I want to rest..
in my bed.
Omo.
It still..
looks the same.
So much green..
Fave ko nga pala yun.
But..
not anymore.
Hmm.
I lie on my bed.
And..
I check my phone.
Oh.
No messages..
except for Mama and Papa.
Siguro..
hindi pa..
nila alam.
I replied..
to Mama and Papa.
I said I’m already here.
Hmm.
I turn on..
the music.
CHRIST IS ENOUGH by HILLSONG ~
I close my eyes..
and..
I suddenly..
fall asleep.
"Kibby.
Kibby..
Kibby!"
I open my eyes.
I woke up.
I see..
Lolo's face.
I get up.
Aigoo.
My head..
hurts.
It's..
aching.
I fix my face..
and my hair.
"Apo.."
I look at him.
"Mabuti naman..
at gising ka na."
I smile.
"Tara na.
Let's have..
dinner."
Dang.
Dinner.
It's..
already..
evening.
At lumabas si Lolo.
I follow him.
Umupo kami..
sa kitchen table..
Ang daming pagkain.
Fiesta ba?
Sabagay..
ganito din..
kami dati.
Normal lang..
kasi madami naman..
kami dati.
Pero..
"I ordered..
and prepared..
some of your..
favorite foods.
I even ask..
your mother.
Kaya..
kumain ka..
ng marami.
Ang payat-payat mo..
apo."
sabi ni Lolo.
Kaya pala.
"Aa.
O-Opo."
Dang.
Hindi naman..
ako palakain.
I'm okay..
with my shape.
"You sounded..
so asleep..
kanina..
kaya..
hindi na kita..
ginising.
Nung tanghali naman..
hindi ka rin..
nagising..
kaya..
hinayaan na lang kita."
sabi ni Lolo.
"Aa.
Sorry po."
"Hindi.
Okay lang."
"Okay..
Let's start."
We pray first.
At kumain na kami..
kami lang..
dalawa ni Lolo.
"Akala ko ba..
ihahatid ka..
ng Papa Oli mo?"
sabi ni Lolo.
"Opo..
Lo.
But..
something..
came up lang po."
"Aa.
Ganun ba.
Pero..
kahit na..
dapat pinahatid ka..
ng Mama mo."
"Okay lang po..
Lo.
I enjoyed..
riding..
and travelling..
on my own po."
I smile.
Mas okay..
na nagbyahe ako..
mag-isa.
Mas na-enjoy ko.
"Hindi apo.."
"Lo..
Malaki na naman po ako.
Kaya ko na po."
I smile.
"Kibby.."
"Don't worry Lolo..
I really enjoyed..
the trip."
"Mukha nga.
Natulog ka lang naman..
buong maghapon."
Heh.
I just smile.
Pagkatapos..
naming kumain..
dumiretso kami..
sa salas.
Lolo turns on..
the television.
News.
We just watch..
on the TV.
At maya-maya pa..
ay inantok..
na si Lolo.
I see him..
yawning.
I look at him.
"Lo..
you should..
sleep."
sabi ko.
"Haha.
Sige apo..
I'll go now."
And then..
he goes..
to his room.
I turn off..
the television.
I go..
to the kitchen..
and..
clean the dishes.
After that..
I go straight..
to my room.
I take a bath.
I fix myself.
I get my phone.
And..
I go outside.
Hmm.
I go..
to the terrace.
Buhay pa rin..
ang duyan namin.
I lie..
on the swing.
And..
I check..
my phone.
Dang.
119 messages.
99 missed calls.
From my family..
and..
from the KILL FAM.
Except..
of course..
to someone.
Aigoo.
Stop it Ynneu!
Forget about it.
Hmm.
For sure..
they already..
know now.
I texted..
Mama and Papa..
Ate Pammy..
Ate Ely..
and Ali.
I give others..
a short reply.
I said..
I'm sorry..
and..
I'm okay.
And then..
my phone rings.
It's Ali.
Aigoo.
I think..
I have..
to answer it.
I guess..
she's mad.
"Yah!"
sigaw nya.
She's..
real..
mad.
"Hey."
sabi ko.
"I am calling..
and..
texting you..
the whole day!"
"Aa.
Yeah.
Sorry."
"I don't..
accept..
your sorry."
"Ali.."
"Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala!"
sigaw ulit nya.
"Hey.."
"Is it true?"
tanong nya.
I know..
she knows.
"Hmm.
Yeah."
sagot ko.
"Why?"
"I'm sorry."
"Why..
didn't you..
tell me?"
mahinang sabi nya.
Her voice..
looks sad.
"I know..
you'll be..
like that."
"Alam mo pala!"
sigaw nya ulit.
"Ali.."
"Are you..
really..
staying there..
for good?"
mahinang tanong nya.
I think..
she's calm now.
"I want to."
"Will you..
be okay?"
"Yeah."
"Hmm.."
"Don't worry..
about me..
Ali."
"Don't..
make me worry."
"Yeah."
"Did..
everyone knows?"
"I'm not sure."
"Okay.
Don't forget..
to update me."
"I will."
"Aigoo."
"Ali.."
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry."
"I understand."
"Thanks."
"You owe..
me one."
"Okay."
At narinig ko..
ang boses..
ni Tita Aki.
She's calling Ali.
They're going..
to have dinner.
"Yes Ma!"
She screams.
"Oh.
Sorry.."
sabi nya sa akin.
"No. Sige na."
sabi ko.
"Take good care..
of yourself."
"You too..
take care..
I love you."
"Aww.
Sweet.
I love you..
more."
And..
she ends..
the call.
I suddenly think..
of what..
Lolo said.
Do I really..
look not okay?
Do I really..
look sad?
My eyes..
look sad?
My eyes..
speak?
Hmm.
Am I really..
that easy to read?
Naalala ko rin..
bigla..
yung mga sinabi..
sa akin..
ni Ben.
I think..
I should..
write..
something..
again.
Then..
I play..
some..
of my fave songs.
THE DAY YOU SAID GOODNIGHT by HALE ~
STAY by CUESHE ~
BACK TO ME by CUESHE ~
BORROWED TIME by CUESHE ~
I also play..
some games..
on my phone.
TEMPLE RUN.
CROWD CITY.
ZOMBIE TSUNAMI.
And then..
after one hour..
I go..
straight to my bed..
and I sleep.
The following day..
I get up..
early.
I bring..
my phone.
And..
I see..
Lolo outside..
the terrace.
I approach him.
He's..
drinking coffee.
"Good morning apo.."
And..
he kisses me..
on my right cheek.
"Good morning po."
I smile.
"You're early."
"You're earlier po."
And..
he laughs.
I laugh too.
"Are you hungry?"
"Hindi pa naman po."
"So.."
"Hmm?"
"Let me..
hear..
your story."
Aigoo.
Oo nga pala.
What story?
Akala ko..
nakalimutan na..
ni Lolo.
"Aa.
A-Ano po kasi..
Lo.."
"Come on..
Kibby."
Dang.
Sasabihin ko ba?
Aigoo.
"Why..
are you..
not okay..
apo?"
"Lo..
Seriously..
I am..
not okay.
I..
was hurt.
I am..
hurting.
I am..
still..
hurting."
sabi ko.
Dang.
Bakit..
ang sakit..
sakit pa rin?
Ang bigat..
pa rin..
sa pakiramdam.
"Hmm.
Heartbreak?"
Dang.
I look at him.
I nodded.
"Kibby..
Hmm..
Like how..
I see you..
you suffered..
a lot.
And..
you've..
grown up a lot.
You..
don't change.
You..
just grew up.
Your eyes..
don't lie.
You have..
a broken smile."
Inakbayan nya ako.
"You're..
so brave.
I know..
you're hiding..
that pain..
until now.
But..
don't let..
the pain..
stay with you.
Don't keep it.
Don't hide it.
Handle it well..
and..
let it go.
For I know..
you really..
want to let it go.
But..
don't force it..
don't rush it.
Just let it..
let it go.
And..
it will go..
eventually."
I nodded.
"That's life.
And..
that's love.
Kapag nagmahal ka..
masasaktan ka.
Lahat ng nagmamahal..
nasasaktan.
It's inevitable.
Walang..
makakapigil dun.
Hindi..
mo maiiwasan yun.
Even God..
Himself..
He loves..
us so much..
but..
He's hurting too.
He's hurting..
because..
we're hurting."
Yeah.
Agreed.
God is also sad..
and hurt..
because..
of our sins.
"You don't have..
to live..
with that pain.
You never know..
there are..
so much more..
to come.
Tell me..
how can you live..
with too much pain?
Kayanin mo..
dapat Kibby.
How..
can you..
move on..
with your life..
if you still have..
that pain?
Huwag mong hayaan..
ang sarili mo..
sa sakit.
Huwag mong hayaan..
na masaktan ka..
ng sobra.
It's not..
God's will..
to hurt you..
that you're suffering..
that pain.
He has..
His purpose.
God..
will be hurt..
more..
if you choose..
to hurt yourself..
even more..
with that pain.
That will be..
really sad..
and..
really bad.
It's just His way.
to test you..
to train you..
to teach you.
Your decisions..
choices..
mistakes..
sins..
make you suffer..
with that pain.
God is just..
helping you.
He wants you..
to be strong..
to face it..
fight it..
and..
leave it.
That's why..
you must..
bid farewell..
you must..
say goodbye..
to that pain."
"O-Opo."
sabi ko.
Yeah.
He's right.
"Love..
is all about..
happiness..
pain..
and..
lesson.
It will..
make you happy.
It will..
give you pain.
And..
it will..
teach you..
a lesson.
And..
it will turn you..
to become..
a better person."
Hmm.
I'm full of..
WOW.
Words of wisdom..
from Lolo.
Aigoo.
"Did you..
already learn..
your lesson?"
tanong nya.
"Hmm.."
"Kibby..
I know..
It's not easy..
but..
it's not..
that hard too.
If you accept..
and..
focus..
on your goal.
Life goes on.
Pray.
Trust God.
He is always..
with us.
Here..
in your heart.
Just keep..
on fighting..
keep on..
moving forward..
keep on..
teaching yourself..
and..
keep on learning."
He smiles.
"Opo..
Lo.
I’m just..
finding it hard po..
to live with the past."
“It’s okay..
to live with the past.
It’s normal to live..
with the past.
Why..
Because past..
is part of our present.
Our past..
is part of our future.
Past is very important.
We all live..
with the past..
present and future.
We learned in the past..
live the present..
and look forward to future.
It’s okay..
to go back in the past..
because..
it’s where you learned.
Do you know..
what’s not okay?
It’s going back..
to the past..
and repeating..
the same mistake.
It’s just mean..
that you don’t really learn..
at all.”
He’s right.
“Hmm.
Okay Lo.”
sabi ko.
And..
he hugs me.
"Wait.
Is that..
why..
you're here?"
biglang tanong..
ni Lolo.
He let go of me.
Aigoo.
Dang.
Yeah.
Hindi ko..
sinagot si Lolo.
I just..
smile at him.
He smiles too.
"Alam ko Kibby..
sinabi na sa akin..
ni Mama mo."
Heh.
Alam na nya pala.
"I'm really..
staying here.
for good..
Lo."
"I know..
I just want..
to talk it..
with you.
I want you..
to tell me.
I want you..
to trust me."
"I trust you po..
Lo."
"I know..
apo.
You don't have..
to say it."
"Hmm?"
"You..
don't have to say..
what you really feel.
Sometimes..
others don't say..
how they feel.
Because..
we don't..
actually..
have to say it.
We must show it.
We must feel it.
Like how I feel..
I feel that you’re not really okay."
I nodded.
Tama nga naman.
"Do you..
usually say..
I love you..
to your..
Mama and Papa?"
tanong ni Lolo.
"H-Hindi po."
"That's..
a very good example.
You don't really..
have to say it.
All you have..
to do..
is to express them..
how much..
you love them.
That goes too..
with how much..
they love you.
Even if..
they don't say it..
at least..
they show it..
and..
I know..
you feel it.
Even if..
you will..
not speak..
just your existence..
just you being there..
for them..
it means a lot."
I nodded.
"And..
I feel..
that you trust me."
sabi ni Lolo.
"Opo.
And..
I love you po..
Lo."
I smile.
"I love you too..
apo."
"Hmm.
I know..
you'll be fine..
anytime soon."
"I hope..
so too po."
"Sige.
I'll go inside.
I'll make..
our breakfast."
"Sige po."
At pumasok na sya sa loob.
Naiwan ako sa labas.
I do..
some exercise.
Mama and Papa..
call me..
along with Ate Pammy..
and Ate Ely.
They ask me..
how I'm doing..
and they said..
they miss me.
Pinapauwi na ako..
nina Ate.
Seriously..
kina Mama at Papa..
lang ako nagsabi..
at nagpaalam.
I didn't have..
the chance..
to talk with..
Ate Pammy..
and Ate Ely.
Alam ko kasi..
na hindi nila..
ako papayagan umalis.
Kaya nagtatampo..
sila ngayon.
But..
I know..
they understand.
And..
I'm decided.
I'll find..
a work here..
and..
I'll be..
staying here..
for good.
I'll be..
on my own.
Then..
Lolo calls me..
and..
we have..
our breakfast..
at the terrace.
After that..
Lolo invites me..
to go..
around the villa..
with the tri-bike.
He tours me..
all over..
our place.
I get..
the chance to meet..
some of the helpers..
of Lolo.
I see the garden.
I see the farm.
I see the resort.
They have..
a grand welcome..
for me.
We have..
our lunch there..
together with the workers.
They prepared a lot..
of foods and games.
I have so much fun.
And then..
I see the playground..
I also love sports..
we play basketball..
long tennis..
and table tennis.
And Lolo tours me..
to the other..
wonderful places..
of the villa.
After that..
nagpaalam ako kay Lolo.
I want to go..
outside the villa.
I want..
to be alone.
Pero..
ayaw pumayag ni Lolo..
na mag-isa akong aalis..
pinapasamahan nya pa ako..
sa driver nya..
pero..
pinilit ko sya..
ng pinilit..
at pumayag din sya.
He let me go.
He just have..
one condition.
I have to return..
before it gets dark.
I say yes.
So..
I get to drive..
Lolo's car.
It's Lolo's..
personal design.
It's has..
a cyan color.
Lolo's fave color.
I go..
around the town.
I just want..
to be familiar again..
with the place.
I see the church..
park..
courts..
gymnasium..
market.
Naalala ko..
lagi rin..
kaming nililibot..
dati dito ni Papa.
And one thing..
I also want..
to find my work here.
I find..
some schools.
Then..
I reach..
the ocean.
It is still the same.
Madalas din kami dito.
I’m really fond of seeing..
the beauty of ocean.
It's so relaxing..
and refreshing.
I stop the car..
And..
I watch..
the lonely sunset.
It is indeed..
a very good sign..
of farewell.
I close my eyes.
I feel the cool wind.
Dear pain..
I loved you.
But..
I'm done..
loving you.
Go away.
Leave me alone.
I set you free.
Set me free.
Forget about me.
Please..
don't come back.
Goodbye.
Love..
Ynneu.
End.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
EPILOGUE
NEVER-ENDING
YNNEU'S POV
"Good morning."
bati ko.
"Good morning Ma'am Qeiv!"
sabi nila.
"Shin..
please lead the prayer."
"Let us pray."
Shin gets the Bible..
and he reads.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
1 Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares
to God for He cares for you.
Lord, we thank you for this day.
Please forgive us for our sins.
Guide and protect us..
our whole family..
and everyone.
We pray for more blessings.
Heal our whole body.
Heal our mind, heart and soul.
Keep us safe.
Take care of us always.
Thank you so much.
We love you.
We ask this through Christ,
our Lord.
Amen.
In the name of the Father,
and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.
"Before you take..
your seats..
kindly look around..
and pick any pieces..
of trash.
Arrange your chairs..
as well.
You may now sit down."
sabi ko.
I smile.
The students sit.
And..
they are all..
smiling at me.
Aigoo.
All eyes on me.
Feels like..
I have..
the spotlight.
First day of class.
And..
I am here now..
in my advisory class.
I get..
the whiteboard pen..
and..
I write my name..
in the whiteboard.
Some of the students..
whisper my name.
"My beautiful name..
Ma'am..
Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala..
but..
you can just call me..
Ma'am Ynn.
not Ma'am Out..
but Ma'am Ynn."
The students smile..
others laugh.
"So..
is that clear?"
tanong ko.
"Yes..
Ma'am Ynn."
"This is..
an English class.
I will be..
your English teacher.
I'm 21 years old.
I'm from Jannau.
I'm not that..
too strict..
and..
I'm not that..
too kind.
I'm..
just right.
I'm..
just..
beautiful me."
sabi ko.
At nagtawanan..
na naman sila.
"I like..
active students..
and..
I like..
determined students.
I dislike..
very..
loud students..
and..
I don't like..
students..
who are not..
studying..
well enough."
"Now.
All eyes on me.
All ears on me.
Okay first.
Homeroom Rules:
Three R's.
I. RESPECT
Respect me..
as your teacher.
Always remember..
that I am..
your teacher..
and you are..
my student.
Give me..
proper respect.
I am not..
your classmate..
your friend..
I am not just..
somebody..
I am..
your teacher.
And all teachers..
should be..
respected well.
We all need..
proper respect.
And you..
as students..
as classmates..
as friends..
as siblings..
need to respect..
each other.
Let's respect..
everyone.
Three things..
for respect.
1. CARE.
We have..
to care..
for one another.
Help one another.
I'll help you.
You help others.
Let's help..
each other.
Share blessings.
Be extra CAREful..
with your words..
and actions.
Don't say..
bad words.
Don't be..
too loud..
too noisy.
If you're..
too loud..
you will have..
consequences.
And..
just so you know..
there will be..
seating arrangement..
every week.
I'll do it.
2. TRUST.
We have..
to trust..
each other.
Trust me.
And..
I will trust you.
Be honest..
all the time.
Don't lie.
Don't cheat.
Don't break trust.
3. LOVE.
We have..
to love..
everyone.
Don't hurt.
Don't fight.
Don't hate.
Don't bully.
II. RESPONSIBILITY
Be responsible..
students.
Be responsible..
persons.
Be responsible..
humans.
Why are you here?
It's your..
responsibility..
to study..
to clean..
and..
to obey.
1. STUDY.
You have..
to listen.
You have..
to understand.
You have..
to learn.
You have..
to pass.
You have..
to achieve.
That's your..
main goal..
why you're here.
2. CLEAN.
Do your tasks.
You have..
to clean..
our home..
our room..
our homeroom.
Clean it..
just like..
your own home.
There will be..
set of cleaners..
everyday.
There will..
also be..
consequences..
for those cleaners..
who will not..
be responsible enough..
to clean the room.
The leaders..
for each day..
will have..
to report to me.
You have..
to have..
a conducive environment..
in order for us..
to have..
the best teaching..
and best learning.
3. OBEY.
Since..
this is..
an English class..
You have..
to speak..
in English language..
only.
We should try..
and practice..
speaking in English.
Because..
it will really..
be useful to you.
If you..
will not speak..
in English..
you will..
also receive..
consequences.
That's a rule.
No exception.
And..
you must follow..
all our..
homeroom rules..
inside this room..
outside the room..
and..
outside the school.
Be a good student.
Be a good person.
Be a good human.
Be a good child of God.
III. REST
Time to rest.
During lunch time..
or vacant time.
I will..
always check..
our homeroom.
You can..
do your hobbies.
Read.
Write.
Draw.
Play.
Sing.
Dance.
And since..
this is our..
HOMEroom..
and..
we will be..
together..
for this..
school year..
you can treat me..
as your mother..
and all of you..
are all..
my children.
And..
as your mother..
you can share..
your problems..
you can trust me..
and..
I'll do my best..
to help you.
Let's be..
real family.
Let's be happy.
So..
that will be..
our Homeroom Rules."
I smile.
And..
they smile too.
"Are all clear?"
tanong ko.
"Yes Ma'am Ynn."
sagot nila.
"Okay.
Any questions?"
One student raises her hand.
"Yes?"
"Ma'am..
we want to know..
more about you."
sabi nya.
Akala ko..
about..
sa Home Rules.
Aigoo.
"Hmm.
Okay.
First.
Don't be..
too noisy.
Second.
Raise your..
right hand.
Third.
I will answer..
three questions..
only.
And..
one more thing..
I will..
not entertain..
those students..
who will..
not speak..
in English."
Medyo..
nadismaya sila.
At..
nagtawanan sila.
Nakakatawa ba yun?
Hmm.
Medyo..
nalungkot naman..
yung iba.
And then..
other students..
raise their hands.
"Ma'am..
do you..
already..
have a boyfriend?"
Dang.
Aigoo.
They laugh.
Medyo umingay.
I raise..
my right hand..
in a form..
of a fist.
And..
they stop.
"What did..
I say?"
I give them..
a scary look.
"Don't..
be..
noisy."
bulong nila.
"Okay.
Warning."
And I smile.
"I'm..
50% single.
I'm..
unAVAILABLE..
and..
I'm..
OUT OF ORDER."
At nagsimula..
na naman..
silang mag-ingay.
Nagtataka ang iba..
sa sagot ko.
"Quiet!
No more..
follow-up questions.
Next question."
Aigoo.
And..
I call..
another student.
"Ma'am..
what is..
love for you?"
sabi ng isang..
guy student..
Hmm.
"Yieee.."
sabi nila..
at bigla ring..
tumahimik.
"Love..
is..
a disease.
It can..
kill you.
So..
kill it..
before it kills you."
sagot ko.
I smile.
"Oooooh."
sabi nung ibang students.
Medyo umingay.
"Okay.
Next question."
sabi ko.
"Ma'am..
what is your talent?"
tanong ng isang girl..
na nakasalamin.
"I'm good in..
teaching.
I can be good in..
singing..
dancing..
drawing..
and..
playing guitar."
"Wow.
Ma'am..
you're so talented.
Sample!
Sample!"
sabi ulit..
nung ibang students.
Namangha sila.
Well.
Hmm.
Aigoo.
“Ssssh.
Next time class.”
sabi ko.
At tumahimik sila.
I suddenly..
miss..
doing..
those things.
"Okay.
I'm done.
It's your..
time now.
Get 1/4 sheet of paper.
Write your name..
and pass it forward."
sabi ko.
The students..
write their names..
on their paper.
"Okay.
All papers here.
Now."
And I get..
all of it.
"I will..
call your name..
you have to stand..
and introduce yourself.
Three things.
Say your name..
your favorite song..
and one word..
that describes you.
Are all clear?"
"Yes Ma'am."
And then..
students..
introduce themselves.
Some..
don't mention..
their favorite songs.
Most of the students..
say about one word..
that describes them..
are..
beautiful..
handsome..
friendly..
cheerful..
kind..
talented..
passionate..
studious..
active..
determined..
optimistic..
and..
soft-hearted.
But..
one student..
catches my attention..
there's this..
student..
who says..
“masochistic”.
I wonder why..
that student..
says that.
His name is..
Ben.
May naalala tuloy ako.
Hmm.
I have to talk to him after class.
And it ends.
"It's good to meet..
all of you today..
and later..
tomorrow..
the other next day..
every weekdays..
all day."
And I smile.
"It's very nice..
to meet you too Ma'am!"
sabi nung mga maiingay.
"Okay.
No more goodbyes.
I don't like..
saying goodbye.
And I don't like..
endings.
Stand up!"
sabi ko.
"If I say..
'Today is your day'..
you will say..
'Tomorrow is our day!'
Is it clear?"
"Yes Ma'am!"
sigaw nila.
"Today is your day!"
"Tomorrow is our day!"
sabi nila..
na nakangiti.
"See you..
Ma'am!"
habol ng isang student.
And I leave the room.
Today is my day.
Tomorrow is my day.
Every day is my day.
God bless you..
Ynneu..
Qeiv..
Ertsala!
The new chapter..
of your..
new life story..
begins.
Once upon a time..
I was born.
I am alive.
I was fine.
I am okay.
And then..
once upon..
a wrong time..
I was..
stupid enough..
to fall in love.
I fell in love.
I became happy.
You made me happy.
But then..
I became sad.
You made me sad.
I got hurt.
You hurt me.
I felt the pain.
You gave me..
too much pain.
I fell apart.
You made me..
fall into pieces.
I was all alone.
You left me.
And..
never came back.
I fell in love..
once again..
I fell in love..
with pain.
But..
I was murdered.
I was killed.
And..
I died.
And..
I was..
born again.
Title: Crime Case No. 061919
Crime: Killing Herself
Prime Suspect: Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala
Alibi:
She had physical, mental..
emotional and spiritual problem.
She was sick and depressed.
She committed suicide.
Title: Crime Case No. 061920
Crime: Killing Her Own Pain
Prime Suspect: Ynneu Qeiv Ertsala
Alibi:
She had physical, mental..
emotional and spiritual problem.
She was sick..
and suffered from too much pain.
She learned, changed and healed.
And she was born again.
We're all meant..
to fall in love.
But..
we're not meant..
to suffer in love.
We're all meant..
to suffer in pain.
We're not meant..
to fall in love..
with pain.
It's normal..
to fall in love.
It's abnormal..
to suffer in love.
It's normal..
to suffer in pain.
It's abnormal..
to fall in love..
with pain.
Pain is a mental..
and emotional suffering.
Pain can be..
your best friend..
or it can be..
your worst enemy.
But pain..
is also..
a good sign..
for you..
from above.
Pain is God's sign.
It means..
WARNING.
DANGER.
Pain can kill.
It kills..
weak people.
It can..
kill you..
or..
it will..
keep you alive.
It's up to you..
if you..
will let yourself..
be killed..
by that pain..
or..
if you..
will let yourself..
fight..
live..
and..
survive.
It's..
your choice.
And..
this is my choice.
YNNEU QEIV ERTSALA'S ALIBI
HOW TO KILL..
YOUR OWN PAIN:
1. Trust yourself.
-Accept lies and truth.
-Cry and breakdown.
-Forget then forgive.
-Move forward.
-Pretend and hide.
-Be tough and strong.
-Be intelligent.
-Be positive.
-Be real.
-Be good.
-Be better.
-Be the best.
-Talk to yourself.
-Listen and reflect.
-Teach and learn.
-Change and grow up.
-Smile and be happy.
-Enjoy and have fun.
-Stay humble and cool.
-Work harder.
-Take challenges.
-Grab opportunities.
-Fight and survive.
-Live and love.
If you can't..
trust yourself anymore..
trust others.
2. Trust others.
-Ask help from your family.
-Talk with your true friends.
-Accept new good friends.
-Build strong relationships.
-Share your story to strangers.
If you can't..
trust others anymore..
trust God.
3. Trust God.
-Put God in the center of your life.
-Cry and pray.
-Read the Bible daily.
-Always go to church.
-Always attend holy mass.
-Have faith.
-Believe.
The steps..
on how to kill..
your own pain..
is a continuous process.
Trust yourself first.
Next, trust others.
And trust God.
God..
will make you..
trust yourself again..
in order..
for you..
to trust others..
again.
Trust again..
and again..
Trust..
all over..
again.
And..
the cycle..
continues.
The Never-Ending.
The Story Continues.
YNNEU'S ADVICE ON LOVE:
50% - love for God.
20% - love for yourself.
15% - love for family.
10% - love for the right person.
5% - love for others.
ADVICE ON LIFE:
LLSS.
Live. Love. Suffer. Survive.
Live again.
Love again.
Suffer again.
Survive again.
That's life.
ADVICE TO YOURSELF:
Pray.
Smile and be happy.
Anyone/anything..
can kill..
your happiness.
God can help you.
Others can help you.
But..
only you..
can kill..
your pain.
Be a murderer..
of your own pain.
Just kill it.
Kill it..
before..
it kills you.
To:
My Family.
I miss you..
so much.
I love you..
always.
To:
My KILL FAM.
Thank you.
I love you all.
To:
Deniel Eros Alioman.
Let's meet.
I miss you.
I love you.
XOXO.
To:
Elmou Crishaunt Sampagn.
I want..
my key..
back.
Please..
give it..
back to me.
I thought..
you want..
one..
last..
chance..
with me..
but..
where..
are..
you?
I'm ready.
Just ask me out.
To:
Erries Renzo Patchialle.
I also thought..
you..
want..
one..
last..
chance..
with me.
I can..
give you..
that..
right now.
Just prove me..
that..
you love me..
that..
I deserve you.
If not..
let's just..
be friends.
I think..
we'll..
be better..
of like that.
To:
Aiyaz Dan Ymaga.
Let's..
not..
meet..
each other..
again.
I..
don't..
want..
to see..
you..
anymore.
Please..
don't..
come..
back.
To:
Bencho Benjamin Benedicto.
I hope..
we can..
meet..
again.
I want..
to talk..
with you..
again.
To:
You..
who are reading this.
Be a good child of God.
Be a good slave of God.
Make God proud.
Thank you.
God bless.
0905-790-0572
0966-485-4554
Comments
Post a Comment