N♡

To: Mr. N.

You knew about one of my darkest and saddest secret. You're one of the five who knew and you're the only guy I shared about it. I trust you more now. I'm lying if I say I don't like you, and if I don't have a li'l feelings for you. But like I said, I like you for now. But right now I don't think it's time for me to love someone. I think I should think about it more and deeply. We have a plenty of time. Let's not rush things. Let's enjoy. Let's take our time. When I feel that the time is right and I feel the same like what you are to me, I can accept your feelings. So, let's just wait. Can you wait even longer? 

You'll wait as you always said. I know you understand that I'm also really not into it and I don't like to be serious about it for now. Let's just live life the way we want.

Waiting is a crucial part in a relationship. I can feel that you're really into me and you're serious about your feelings to me. Anyone can say that he can wait but that part should be guided by God's wisdom and there will come the fulfillment. There may come changes. There may come troubles and problems. Let's trust each other. I'll trust you and I'll support you. Some people will come and some will go. But the one who stays will always be the one who really give you the real love. 

I gave you my "key pendant." It's not an assurance but it can be a guide to you when you are waiting. I gave that to you because you're the only guy I mostly entertain for now. I'm used to you. And seriously, you're the closest guy I had right now. Most of my friends knew you and they were saying that you're good to me. Like you, I also want to have my first and my last. 

After such years, when we finally meet each other at a time, and you still feel certain about your feelings to me, return it and wear it to me. If somewhere you lost it, that's a bad sign so please handle it with care. If you have a change of heart, just gave it to me. And I know what that means. Yo

u don't have to explain. But still I want you to return it to me whether you still like me or not because it's way important for me. 

Thank you. It's nice talking with you. About what happened to us, I hope it will never happen again. I'm afraid to be depressed again. Thank you for making things better. We're okay now. Thank you for understanding. Let's just continue to what we have and what we are for now.

--Kwene♡

(08.30.18)